Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: QAARON’S QAVE WATQH QONQLUDES.

This is this most work my Q key has probably ever gotten.

I look forward to Aaron Rodgers playing exactly 65% of the offensive snaps, and then inexplicably falling off a metaphorical cliff. Possibly a physical cliff. More likely a bad trip. Regardless, like the Favre trade, I’m expecting this to go mildly well and then fail catastrophically, and somehow miss the playoffs. The full trade: Rodgers, the Packers’ 1st (#15), a 5th (#170) for the Jets’ 1st (#13, so a two-pick swap), 2nd (#42), 6th (#207), and a conditional 2nd in 2024 (which becomes a 1st if Rodgers plays 65% of snaps).

On one hand, he’s already slotting in, at this age, as arguably the best QB in franchise history. The Jets could potentially have their second-ever 4,000 yard passing season! The only other one was Joe Namath in 1967, where he was the first QB to throw for 4K (4,007 yds). Please note that the Jets were still in the AFL during this time. Please note that the 16-game season didn’t start until 1978, and now the NFL plays a 17-game season. On the other, as I said, the inevitable Favre Part 2 comparisons. On a third hand, Kyrie Irving is no longer in the city, because I would’ve absolutely done an Aaron & Kyrie bit.

Other things:

The Cardinals have new unis. And I have to ask: Does everyone want to do the giant name mark these days? And does anyone want to do it at least almost well? It didn’t work for Michigan State, it didn’t work for Atlanta… how did you arguably downgrade from meh-at-best unis? The Cardinals wordmark on the white and black unis? Eh. Loss of custom font? Feels like a downgrade there. Especially with the Arizona lettering on the red unis, match the number typeface to the city’s!

Titans stadium update: They got city bond money to the tune of almost one Fox news lawsuit! Combine this with the state bonds and the Titans have secured the most public stadium funding ever ($1.2 billion) for an estimated $2.1 billion stadium.

Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson’s 5th-year options for 2024 have gotten picked up to the surprise of no one. Burrow will make $29.5M (fully guaranteed), Jefferson will make $19.743M.

Reddit fucking shit up pre-draft: Diamond hands on Will Levis going #1 because of an anonymous Reddit post saying he’s telling friends and family he’ll go to Carolina. Odds have gone from 40-1 to 4-1.

We got sports!

Because it’s several rounds before the Cup:
Panther Caruso vs. Cocaine Bears 5 (FLA vs. BOS, Bruins lead 3-1) (7:00, ESPN)
Mythical Ocean Creature vs. Mythical Mountain Creature (SEA vs. COL, tied 2-2) (9:30, ESPN)

He’s heating up!
GO NEW YORK GO NEW YORK GO on loop vs. Cleveland Tourism Board (NYK vs. CLE, Knicks lead 3-1) (7:00, NBA TV)
LeBron and Pals vs. Dizzy Grizzlies (LAL vs. MEM, Lakers lead 3-1) (7:30, TNT)
Udonis Haslem’s Last Ride vs. Bucks in… 7? (MIA vs. MIL, Heat lead 3-1) (9:30, NBA TV)
Super Splash Bros. vs. BEEEEEEEEEAM (GSW vs. SAC, tied 2-2) (10:00, TNT)