Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.
Got nouthin for yall today and have a meeting starting now that I’m late for. Fun.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
We were waaay off on #thepauls
litre_cola
They is truly a mystery wrapped in an enema smgdh
King Hippo
“Enema? Mom won’t let me listen to him ’cause all the naughty words he uses.”
-E. Manning
LemonJello
Whoa. Hold up. The Bengals are good but let’s wait until next week to see exactly how good. They are playing with swagger and confidence (for the first time in a while) but they still have an iffy o-line and they haven’t quite figured out how to be consistent with their offensive weapons.
Redshirt
THIS GUY REDSHIRT, I CALL HIM RYAN SHAZIER BECAUSE HE’S BEEN BADLY HURT BY THE NFL AND HAS LEARNED TO TEMPER HIS EXPECTATIONS FOR THE FUTURE AS A MECHANISM TO AVOID BEING HURT AGAIN
LemonJello
October 18, 2021 8:38 am
/puts on Pats fan hat
Mac Jones looks fantastic for a rookie. He’ll do well once they let him throw for longer than 10 yards twice per game
Sharkbait
it physically pains me to say this, but as a football team the Patriots are the organization that every other team should strive to be. If you put aside the rampant cheating and taking advantage of immigrant women for sexual gratification, they are well-coached, they almost never get stuck with stupid contracts, they don’t get a raft of dumb penalties every game, (when Brady was playing for them they didn’t get any penalties in any game, but that’s another story), and they’re in the play-offs every year. Even this year, with a rookie QB, (who looks like he’s be the best of all of the first four drafted, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence), they could just as easily be 5-1, with a couple of breaks, as they are their current 2-4. And they have the Jets next week, so that’s 3-4. They’ll finish 8-8 this year, maybe 9-7, and at least be in the hunt for the wild card. In a down year.
If I ever type anything like this again you will know I have been kidnapped, and that you should please call the police.
Horatio Cornblower
Every time El Tractorcito gets in the backfield, I am reminded of a game in high school where the opposing team had a 260 lb running back and I was playing free safety and he broke free from the line and I had to tackle his ass.
He trucked my ass but slipped on my carcass and fell down.
One of my finest tackles.
ballsofsteelandfury
Yes Chris, it would be something if Taylor Lewan played next Sunday.
It’d be a fucking disgrace, but this is the NFL, so as they say in Cleveland, with a resigned sigh, “I’ll see you Sunday.”
Horatio Cornblower
There should be at least a few weeks off for anyone who gets concussed. Daniel Jones had no business playing yesterday.
Gumbygirl
He played the whole game. In an absolute blow-out. That the Giants had no chance to win.
Joe Judge should have been arrested sometime in the 3rd quarter for attempted murder.
Horatio Cornblower
Don T
Found a funny;
why do dryers have a ‘less dry option?’ which one of you is ordering your socks medium rare
rockingdog
Baseball.
I love the whole “unwritten rules.”
It’s stupid as shit, and kind of bitchy.
WRITE THE FUCKING RULES DOWN THEN EVERYONE WILL KNOW THEM
WAIT! DON’T! BASEBALL WOULD PUT A METH ADDICT INTO A DEEP SLUMBER
jjfozz
Really sickens me to see Davonte Smith in some whatever-brand apparel commercial advertising clothes you just walk around and do nothing in when he’s putting up like 2.83 on my fantasy squad.
blaxabbath
Do Falcons fans get triggered when they see things like 2.83? Like is it impossible for them to call anyone who lives in the 283 area code?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I would love a live camera in Puerto Rico right now.
ballsofsteelandfury
Puerto Rico: So would we, because it would mean the electricity was working!
Horatio Cornblower
Don T
“absolutely the fuck not, but in Cajun.” [ from the Urban Meyers adventures in London post]
Sharkbait
TONY KHAN: (shits pants, talks about wrestling, ignores Fulham)
-Litre’s gonna nominate this piece for a Pulitzer for that line.
Horatio Cornblower
In April 2020 I was supposed to go on a trip to Ireland. Just finished booking the same trip for April 2022. Good thing my liver has had another two years of training.
Dunstan
FUCK YOU FUCKING FOXSPORTS.COM AND UVERSE THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THOSE CREDENTIALS THAT I’M TRYING TO USE THAT HAPPEN TO BELONG TO MY FRIEND.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I was falsely led to believe that today was international gin and tonic day. It is not (April 9th apparently.) So now I’m forced to drink this for no reason at all.
Sharkbait
Its April 9th somewhere.
Redshirt
How to make eggnog:
Start by whisking the egg yolk and sugar together in a small bowl. Then, in a saucepan over medium-high heat, combine cream, milk, salt, and nutmeg and stir the mixture until it just reaches a simmer. Next temper the eggs by adding small spoonfuls of the hot mixture to the egg mixture.Stir each spoonful and once most of the hot mixture has been added, add the entire mixture back to the saucepan. Continue cooking and whisking for just another minute or two until it barely thickens. It will continue to thicken as it cools. Then remove it from the heat and add the vanilla. Refrigerate the eggnog mixture until chilled.
Add your favourite alcohol as you wish.
ballsofsteelandfury
How to make eggnog:
–Buy a carton of eggnog and a shitload of bourbon
–Open eggnog and pour it down the sink
–Drink bourbon directly from the bottle
–Pass out
BrettFavresColonoscopy
-Go to Liquor Store.
-Buy Alcoholic Eggnog.
-Drink Eggnog directly from bottle.
-Repeat Previous Step multiple times.
-Wake up.
-Begrudgingly put pants back on
-Leave Liquor Store.
Redshirt
Here’s your Stillers bye week:
THE BEN is old and past his expiration date.
The end.
WCS
Ryan Shazier won’t stand for this.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Brocky
Redshirt
Redshirt
Ola meus lindos amigos!
As of tomorrow, the countdown is less than 7 years.
Yes my dear people I am 6 full bones tomorrow. The full 60 bucks.
Sixty goddamn laps and counting.So how does our resident food guru celebrate his 60º aniversário?
Dinner with my two beautiful daughters at a Michelin starred Dining establishment in Hollywood. I mean?
Limo service is at 4:15 dinner at 5:15 PM.
I taught both of the right offspring how to appreciate real cuisine. Now theoretically they’re taking me out for my birthday.
Got a real life tip for everyone: If someone offers to pay for your dinner on your birthday, say “OK.”I have paid for every damn tab for these the girls their whole lives. I sure as Hell won’t say no to them picking up the tab.
Give one of those “I Mean this but I really don’t” reaches towards the bill and if they say “No. I got this.”Let them have that.
Truth.
yeah right
At 42 years of age, I made a milkshake for the first time.No, that’s not any sort of achievement. It was ice cream and milk in a blender. But it was fucking delicious and I wanted to tell someone about it.You, my imaginary internet friends, are that someone.
Anthony In TX
Found a funny;
time traveler: i love your volcano
pompeiian: our what?
time traveler: your mountain, your normal mountain
rockingdog
It’s not fair that the Lord can do whatever he wants and it’s totally cool but when I work in “mysterious ways” I get written up by my shift manager.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
In addition to all the awful things already about the actor-involved shooting on the set of Rust, another awful thing is that barely anybody is talking about how maybe, just maybe, we’re too dependent on using fucking guns to produce media that audiences find sufficiently entertaining.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“I don’t even understand why the pizza delivery guy even had to have a gun, but the execs insisted!”
Me, being deposed after a porn scene has gone horribly wrong.
Horatio Cornblower
Just back from Rocky Mountain National Park, excited to do nothing this evening. What’s the haps?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Vaccine side effects suck, that’s the haps.
Beats spending three weeks sucking on a leaf blower and then dying, though.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Good company, though.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
The Tony Khan line is glorious.
Solid week all around. I like Ryan Shazier jokes almost as much as jaw dropping Jim Kelly jokes.
Where is errybody?
I’m here, but just for a minute. I have to go to the weed store, which means I have to put on pants! And I have to buy some ridiculously expensive Big Bear tourist gas first, dammit!
Maybe I don’t need pants. If it’s good enough for Olive Oyl….
Pants are a serious violation of [DFO] Bylaws. Where’s that sergeant-at-arms?
Sitting in lines at a drive thru oil change. This is right after going to the grocery store and just prior to going for my 4 mile walk. Random 4 day weekend to use up my PTO. I love this time of year.