Well, for anyone who watched, that was a bit of an eh game at least in the middle innings. The 8th and 9th were interesting though. For anyone who didn’t, the NL beat the AL 3-2 in the All-Star Game in Seattle last night on the strength of an 8th inning Elias Díaz home run. Who’s Elias Díaz? That’s a good question, but he apparently plays for the Rockies. Rocktober’s back baby, for one night only! Which was last night.
I kicked around some ideas for what to do this week before deciding on none of them, yayyyyy. In fairness half of you don’t want me to talk about how each team is doing at the All-Star Break, apart from mocking both New York teams who would both be out of the playoffs as of now. And fewer of you would want me to do a watch of the best game I’ve ever been to, but have never seen on TV, the 2008 All-Star Game. You know, the Yankee Stadium one that went 15 innings, as opposed to the Home Run Derby tiebreaker the broadcasters were hoping for last night.
And then, I heard the news today. Oh boy.
First, the NFL news: Break out your tinfoil hats and your ayahuasca, cause the Jets are gonna be on Hard Knocks! This will either be the most interesting or most boring season of the show, and there will be no middle ground. Unless Zaslav cancels it and removes all the other seasons for a tax write-off. But that paled in comparison to the irksome news, where the Yankees are joining the sleeve ad patch brigade thanks (dripping sarcasm) to Starr Insurance, through 2031.
As you can imagine, Yankee fans and MLB fans responded well to this news of one of the flagship franchises and most iconic uniforms in all of sports succumbing to this trend of North American sports emulating the rest of the world:
Yeah, darkest timeline, felt goatee time.
This seems especially cruel considering the quote a week or two earlier that the Yankees wouldn’t be considering the City Connect line of uniforms at this point in time.
The jersey ad will cost Starr somewhere between $20-25M per year, or approximately 0.6 Aaron Judges, and asks the question, “Oh boy, what fuckery is Hal gonna do next?”
Anyway, fuck it, what’s on tonight?
Las Vegas Summer League Action!
Raptors vs. Pistons (in progress, ESPN2)
Gold Cup Semis
Teddy Roosevelt Trophy (United States vs. Panama, 7:30, FS1)
Drugs of All Nations (Jamaica vs. Mexico, 10:30, FS1)
I don’t even have a Lowratio to kick. Or a The Cheat.
Which of you is in this?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CukmMFxgASS/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I loathe Danny Boy so, so much. Karma’s always keeping tabs.
We had a rough hail storm last night but the veggie gardens cover net took it like a champ. Had to retie 2 (of 6) guide lines this morning and it knocked over 3 pepper plants which I stood back up and tied off better. But looks like it weathered that storm.
OH MY GOD SUGAR RUSH IS BACK!
Oh, wait. It’s a Mexican version. I guess that’s cool too. I miss the original flavor, though.
So I ended up having lemon drops. The second one is ginger-enhanced. It’s basically a test to see how much of a hangover I get from vodka. Wish me luck!
Brick, did you go into the photo reading room at the Library of Congress and look at the Stereographs? Totally up your alley.
Photo research is my main game, BFC!
Hallways of Washington DC
Top one looks like it could be EEOB.
Bottom one is Dew Drop Inn
Top two are Library of Congress
Oh you took the tunnel from the Madison building to the Jefferson building?
Jefferson building to Adams building through the tunnels. A/C all the way on a hot high noon day. Ate at Burrito Bros.
Shit, it’s Wednesday? Guess I should start working on tomorrow night’s open thread at some point…
Yeah man, get it together.
[composes a message about how Request Line will be just a little late this week; saves to “drafts”]
That’s a true GOLAZO
México is not fucking around here
I haven’t seen a B side this bad since REM
(not an implication that this song is bad, because nothing by Iggy is bad, just that it fits the whole “b-side” thing)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44aFzU_ZRF0
B side request line?
Excellent idea.
Noriega’s Revenge.
For when we embargo’d Clearasil?
MOAR like Pulisuck!
Watching on Roku, and the sound is delayed just right that the whistle blows right as every kick is taken. Very odd.
Nice save by Turner, but that was also one of the worst penalty kicks I’ve ever seen.
It was horrible
(knows nothing about sockher)
I hate that hesitation thing so I’m glad Turner saved it
Turner seems to have left his ESP in the locker room.
Great timing!
What a shit try.
Damn, missed a proper party tonight.
https://pagesix.com/2023/07/12/rfk-jr-press-dinner-explodes-in-war-of-words-and-farts/
Sounds more fun than any other political fundraiser of which I have heard.
I have no idea who any of these people are, but they do seem like people who should consider touring the Titanic in a submersible of extremely questionable design.
I just imagined people locked into a small tube, deep underwater having been served beans and cabbage beforehand.
Implosion, explosion, let’s call the whole thing off!
If they all had flatulence they may survived by farting enough to equalize the pressure.
In high school I was tangentially exposed to Robert Kennedy’s 20 children and they were all rich drug addict fuck ups.
It IS the Kennedy family, they are just keeping the family traditions alive.
https://youtu.be/bapPD-lPOXQ
I was just a drug addict fuck up
That deserves a fucking Pulitzer.
I missed the US goal because Mrs. Horatio made strawberry shortcake.
On the one hand, I missed a dramatic tying goal. On the other, more important hand, strawberry shortcake!
Is that her pet name for Lowratio?
No, I’m pretty sure she called it that because it involved strawberries and shortca…
Oh goddammit, now I’m doing it!
So does Lowratio get a short stack of strawberry shortcake?
We’re not savages, of course he does.
For when she has him wear the red gingham frock and hat?
Tolkien plays for the USA?
Explains all the last minute comebacks, anyway
I just to reassure Balls that I am not a lazy writer and that I’m doing research in the Library of Congress and I even got a library card for this. Balls, sir, I am on the job.
Excellent!
Hey I got my library of Congress reading room card this week, too!
We both have LOC cards and the same Hollywood scrotum waxer. We are both cut from the same chunk of wood.
It’d be nice to have a cold beer right now but I can’t (because I drank them all) so I gotta figure out something else to drink.
How about the salty tears of the losers of the USMNT?
Nevermind.
That goal was like in fucking slow motion too.
I never see that no bounce volley work. Twas lovely.
Well-timed, sir; do it again.
Not yet
Extra time for US/Panama in the Whale’s Vagina!
My wife just told me that the NBA is making “flopping” a technical foul and that they will be emphasizing enforcement. Christian Lightner throws himself to the ground in disgust.
Why the fuck is Alcaraz (the 1-seed) playing the 3 seed in the semifinal, while the 2-seed (Djokovic) plays the 8-seed? Tennis seeding is so stupid and pointless.
Seeding as I understand it is based on world rankings, which draw on the entire previous year of matches to calculate. As a result, there may be blind sports for newly competitive players.
On the ladies side, we have several Russian/Belarus players that were either excluded from events or excluded from earning ranking points over the past year. And, of course, Svitlona who was unranked because she was preggers for most of the past year.
On mens side, the 4 seed, Rudd, was upset in the 2nd round. Otherwise, Joker has beaten all contenders on his side of the bracket. And let’s not forget Uewald, the upstart American who nearly knocked off the 3 seed to get to the semis.
What I’m saying is, upsets are great. Enjoy the spectacle. And fuck Joker with a hot spit.
All in favor of banning Mr. Ayo from the clubhouse for life say aye!
“Nay!” – Philip Rivers
“Neigh” – John Elway
“nah, fuck that.”
-Antonio Cromartie
What’s wrong with preggers?
Right? I could have gone with bun in the oven, knocked up, with child, prego, in the family way, expecting, or child bearing.
I thought it was pretty tragic the way that Hurkacz blew *both* of those first two tiebreakers. Djokovic is like the Patriots right now, he always seems to catch breaks right when he needs them most and then takes full advantage of them because, you know, he’s arguably the best there’s ever been.
EDIT: I don’t mean the right now Patriots, I mean peak Patriots.
Tennis scoring is also stoooopid
I think it’s fine, except that 30-30 should be called “deuce” too, because it’s effectively the same thing.
So you wanna make the deuce threshold lower? Drop the deuce?
I’m not dehydrated, I’m just drinking the exact amount of water my body needs and therefore saving myself the trouble of using the toilet
That’s just being efficient
Also every time you *do* pee you should drink a fresh beer to replace the fluid you just lost.
Got my new Library of Congress library card today, which has got to be the Mt Olympus of library cards. I can just waltz into the main reading room, pull a reference book off an alcove shelf and plop down in a desk and peruse it in the refrigerated 65ºF comfort against the tropical swelter of a D.C. summer. Tourists aren’t allowed in “researcher” areas because they are just plebes who probably can’t read anyway and would just spoil the books with their filthy unwashed hands.
Photography is not allowed in the main reading room so here’s a photo:
You are a scholar and a hero. Thank you for your service.