Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The True Nadir

Well, for anyone who watched, that was a bit of an eh game at least in the middle innings. The 8th and 9th were interesting though. For anyone who didn’t, the NL beat the AL 3-2 in the All-Star Game in Seattle last night on the strength of an 8th inning Elias Díaz home run. Who’s Elias Díaz? That’s a good question, but he apparently plays for the Rockies. Rocktober’s back baby, for one night only! Which was last night.

I kicked around some ideas for what to do this week before deciding on none of them, yayyyyy. In fairness half of you don’t want me to talk about how each team is doing at the All-Star Break, apart from mocking both New York teams who would both be out of the playoffs as of now. And fewer of you would want me to do a watch of the best game I’ve ever been to, but have never seen on TV, the 2008 All-Star Game. You know, the Yankee Stadium one that went 15 innings, as opposed to the Home Run Derby tiebreaker the broadcasters were hoping for last night.

And then, I heard the news today. Oh boy.

First, the NFL news: Break out your tinfoil hats and your ayahuasca, cause the Jets are gonna be on Hard Knocks! This will either be the most interesting or most boring season of the show, and there will be no middle ground. Unless Zaslav cancels it and removes all the other seasons for a tax write-off. But that paled in comparison to the irksome news, where the Yankees are joining the sleeve ad patch brigade thanks (dripping sarcasm) to Starr Insurance, through 2031.

As you can imagine, Yankee fans and MLB fans responded well to this news of one of the flagship franchises and most iconic uniforms in all of sports succumbing to this trend of North American sports emulating the rest of the world:

Yeah, darkest timeline, felt goatee time.

This seems especially cruel considering the quote a week or two earlier that the Yankees wouldn’t be considering the City Connect line of uniforms at this point in time.

The jersey ad will cost Starr somewhere between $20-25M per year, or approximately 0.6 Aaron Judges, and asks the question, “Oh boy, what fuckery is Hal gonna do next?”

Anyway, fuck it, what’s on tonight?

Las Vegas Summer League Action!
Raptors vs. Pistons (in progress, ESPN2)

Gold Cup Semis
Teddy Roosevelt Trophy (United States vs. Panama, 7:30, FS1)
Drugs of All Nations (Jamaica vs. Mexico, 10:30, FS1)

I don’t even have a Lowratio to kick. Or a The Cheat.