Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them [in bed]?
Rose Kennedy

This feels like it’s a metaphor about death but prob wrong as I’m not so goods at the English and meanings and such. And for actual sleeping, I want the room with no light, so sunlight is totes out of the question for me.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

---

My friends until recently: “Oh, it’s cool that you’re single. We get it. You seem pretty happy.”

My friends recently: “OMG you have a girlfriend! Now you won’t die lonely and miserable like you have been until now! BTW, we have been Google stalking her since you mentioned the barest details.”

Me: “This is why I never tell you people anything.”
Dunstan

Dunstan: /logs onto random dick joke website and tells random strangers
WCS

That’s why we’re here.
yeah right

Exactly. I can trust you people to just ask questions like, well, I’m not going to give you ideas.
Dunstan

Here are the important questions.

1. 1. 1. 1. Are you getting laid?
         2. Is she reasonably sane, and not a bunny boiler?

Good enough!
Gumbygirl

This is why you’re my favorite.
Dunstan

---

The cherry tomatoes are ripe as is the basil. Combine chopped in a bowl with olive oil and salt. Just those 4 simple things. Now what are you waiting for… Go toast some crusty Italian bread.
2Pack

---

Just got back from some fireworks. The son of one of the guys we were with almost lost an ear by staying too long trying to light his rocket after his father got his on the first try.

JPP would have been proud.
Horatio Cornblower

Unsafe!

2Pack

---

Anyone for Strip Uno?

ballsofsteelandfury

Balls’ Rules for Strip Uno:

Requires a bottle of booze plus a can of beer plus 1 shot glass per player. Preferable to play with two guys and two girls (for your standard heterosexual players) seated B, G, B, G. Seating doesn’t matter for anyone else.

1) Drink a shot of beer for every card you have to draw.
2) If you play a Wild Card, you choose the player that takes an item of clothing off.
3) If you play a +4 Card, you choose two people to take items of clothing off.
4) Drink a shot of booze if play is reversed back to you.
5) Drink a shot of booze if play is skipped over to you.
6) If you pull off successive Skip or Reverse moves (play the second of back to back cards) you choose a player to take an item of clothing off.
7) If you fail to say “UNO” when you only have one card left, you must take off two items of clothing AND take a shot of booze.
8) Once a player loses all their cards, a new game is started with the rest of the players drinking a shot of booze and removing an article of clothing.
9) A naked player remains in the game but does not have to take any more clothes off.
10) If a naked player wins the next game, they can put all their clothes back on.
11) When two players lose all their clothes, they are removed from the game.
12) Last player with clothes on wins.
ballsofsteelandfury

---

I’m stupid hungry right now, so roasting some tomatoes and a whole clove of garlic in the oven, to be joined by some Italian sausage before cooking some pasta.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You do far better than i do at hungry conjuring
Doktor Zymm

---

After seeing the Stephen F. Austin State University bowling team pics and pics of the head coach (based on looks), I can understand. Actually, I can understand why he cracked as having his wife as his boss was probably painful – “Do the dishes, mop the kitchen floor, and then come and rub my feet.” “You aren’t the boss of…oh, right you are my boss”
ArmedandHammered

Yesterday at the pool a woman who was vacating the lane I was entering said “have a good swim” and I came very close to saying “you too!”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve done that when people working at the airport wish me a good flight
Doktor Zymm

See also “enjoy your food” at takeout counter
King Hippo

---

My COBRA subsidy expires at the end of the month, so I’m applying for a California marketplace plan and it turns out I qualify for exactly $1/month state subsidy, lol
Doktor Zymm

Well we know your identity now.

litre_cola

---

Leprechauns are from Ireland, right?

Just wondering why Horatio volunteered to write the Irish preview….
ballsofsteelandfury

Pretty fucking insensitive to imply sex dwarves and leprechauns are the same thing. That’ll get you kicked in the shins in some places.
SonOfSpam

---

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny sounds one step removed from Indiana Jones and the Life Alert Bracelet of Caution
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Indiana Jones and the Fraudsters of Medicare Part B
Doktor Zymm

“After receiving a mysterious call on his Jitterbug phone, Indy rides off on his Hoverround to investigate the early bird special at the Golden Corral.”
Gumbygirl

---

My Lyft driver tonight is named Africa.

I will not be taking further questions at this time.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gonna take a lot to take you away from him.
SonOfSpam

---

Evening folks

2Pack

---

/that time I was a hero to a bunch of randos visiting Elliot Lake

Me: [standing in line at the supermarket]

Teenager: [tries to pay with US moneys]

Cashier: “We don’t accept US bills.”

Teenager: [has a passing grasp on the English language, can’t quite understand and is absolutely mortified]

Me: “I’d like to pay for her stuff.”

Two Grandma’s behind me: “That was wonderful, she’s going to talk about the generous nature of Canadians forever!”

/the teenager joins her group at the exit and points at me
//did I get a standing ovation?
///nope, I got a bunch of older dudes pointing and staring at me as I left
////that was good enough
scotchnaut

//////Her order was sleeping pills and Plan B
herodotus450

---

I haven’t seen an investment opportunity like this since Sam Friedman stopped taking my calls!

I’m in.
Horatio Cornblower

“You said crypto was the future!”

LemonJello

My soul hurts I can’t +infinity this
WCS

---

Are spouses allowed [ to go to DFOCon]?
ArmedandHammered

Allowed? Of course!

Advised? Not as such.

(Yes, bring the spouse so she can see how great you are compared to the rest of us)
SonOfSpam

We’ve met Horatio’s wife. I think the dwarf arrived after that.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s a rule; the dwarf always comes last.
SonOfSpam

---

Brick Meathook

So a flux capacitor?
2Pack

The chip is soldered to a vacuum tube socket base. Me = Geek
Brick Meathook

A space tube sock… uhmmm… nevermind…
2Pack

BAH GAWD 2PACK THAT’S BLAX’S MUSIC
WCS

---

Meeting Clubhouse denizens in meat space, and/or knowing Christian names…don’t make any of y’all – NOR ME – the slightest bit MOAR real. We remain, now and always, fully imaginary.
King Hippo

The interesting part about first meeting one of these imaginary strangers on the hoof is that after ten minutes or so you realize that you actually know this person.

WEIRD
Brick Meathook

---

I had to serve a politician that I absolutely abhor tonight. It was incredibly fucking difficult to keep up the “server act”.
litre_cola

---

Plan ahead, and always have extra socks.
WCS

– Blax
ballsofsteelandfury

---

47 minutes in and I have to say The Hurt Locker is completely contrived garbage. Really? The ‘hero’ is a ‘rebel’ that doesn’t follow the usual rules when disarming bombs? [wanking motion engaged] And I’m sure that this script was vetted by the military before it got to the screen.
scotchnaut

Fun Fact: “The Hurt Locker” is the dwarf’s name for his kennel in Casa Cornblower.
LemonJello

---

Rewatch Alert: I can’t decide between Heat, The Verdict, Spotlight, Starship Troopers, The International, Inside Man, Leon The Professional, The Other Guys, Moneyball or Kung Fu Hustle.

What say you?
scotchnaut

“I would choose Inside Man”

SonOfSpam

---

I had an incredibly stupid morning at my SIL’s house. I took the garbage out and l
locked myself out of the house, except for the garage. No keys, no phone, no pants! I rummaged around and found a bag of stuff she’s donating to Goodwill. There was a pair of pants in there that I managed to squeeze my lardass into. One problem solved. I went over to the weirdo next door neighbors house and asked to use his phone. Fortunately, I know Gumby’s number by heart, the only nunber I know. Did he answer? Only after I called and texted like 30 times. He got in touch with his sister, fortunately one of her friends had a spare key, and brought it over to save me. Thank you Lisa! And thank you weirdo Gene. He gave me a cup of coffee and a granola bar, besides letting me use his phone. And told me some insane story about his dead wife.
Gumbygirl

So THATS why Gene asked me to open the Cinnabon this morning!
herodotus450

---

Guys… You had me at… Norwegian Women…
2Pack

This guy fjucks.
SonOfSpam

---

Give Willow a break once in a while, Horatio. His stamina is limited by his frame.
WCS

No way his name is Willow.

I propose a DFO Naming Contest.

Winner gets a Gently Used Fleshlight.
ballsofsteelandfury

I feel like he’d name the dwarf after himself.

Lowratio.
SonOfSpam

His name is Igor. Pronounced ‘EYE-gore.’

As for all of your guesses

Horatio Cornblower

---

Move to eliminate the banner as a thing. Do I have a second?

/Blax trips over a sock to second.
Horatio Cornblower

No. I move to table this discussion indefinitely.
WCS

I think you’re going to come up a little short
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

Lets face it I’m an uneducated loser so all I have to do is agree to help clean up after the meal and “Yeah Right” feeds me. During the week he only eats his veggie soups so this includes all the leftovers.
Each day that passed this got better. First day a little wine-centric but each day it mellowed more and by Wednesday? absolutely insanely good. Worth every pot and pan that was scrubbed. Superb!

I know I’m not supposed to jump in YR’s posts but this really was that good.
DJ TAJ

---

I like SD weather.
blaxabbath

South Dakota?

/Gonna keep beating this dead horse
Horatio Cornblower

We do enjoy beating dead horses around here more than in Santa Anita.
ballsofsteelandfury

How else are you going to get affordable yet tender taco meat?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

(Affordable yet tender is also how Horatio describes Lowratio)
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here