It’s the MLB All-Star Game! Huzzah, hurray, etc.
I discussed my view of the ASG at length last year, and I find my opinions have only hardened. Last night’s Home Run Derby was great (WOOO VLADITO!). Tonight is going to suck. At the very least they could try and jazz it up with Multi-ball and the seventh inning grope…
Fortunately, we have some Actual News, Everyone!
-Alvin Kamara cleared the second of three major hurdles to him playing a full season (or as much of a full season as he normally plays) this year, pleading no contest to a misdemeanor breaching-the-peace charge. As you may recall, he was facing a felony battery charge in connection with a beating he and his boys administered outside a Las Vegas club on Pro Bowl Eve 2022. After paying $105k in the victim’s medical bills and previously settling with the victim, Kamara will now look to put the spin-a-rama on the Ginger Hammer’s brand of rough justice so that he can play 12 games for the 7-10 NFC South Champion Saints.
-Bob Huggins, the once and future coach of the West Bah Gawd Virginia Mountaineers basketball team, has vowed to fight to the death for reinstatement to a job he claims he never resigned from. You may recall that, after getting away with a slap on the wrist for repeatedly and unapologetically using slurs on his official radio show, Huggins picked up a truly impressive .21 BAC DUI and promptly resigned to slink away and bemoan his fate on top of the giant pile of money he already made.
OR DID HE?!?!
Huggins has resurfaced several weeks later, claiming he never actually resigned!
His lawyer is now demanding that he be reinstated, despite not having left, which is a conundrum. ONE of his lawyers, I should say- another of his lawyers has spent the last several weeks sewing up the logistics of Huggins…uh…resignation with WVU.
Huggins now claims that the formal resignation e-mail- which included the phrase “Please accept this correspondence as my formal notice of resignation as WVU Head Basketball Coach and as notice of my retirement from West Virginia University, effective immediately”- was drafted and sent by his wife without his knowledge.
Which is a bold strategy, both from a legal standpoint and on the domestic front.
West Virginia, who was likely thanking Baby Jeebus that their toxic shithole coach had removed himself from the game without them having to risk firing him for cause, has responded with a full-throated and chesty “Fuck Y’all”, essentially daring Huggins to bring it to court.
This will eventually be settled quietly, just like when a prison guard beats an inmate to within an inch of his life for “sassin’ me”. But in the meantime, it’s good theater.
ISSUE THE SECOND: Overrated stuff.
1. Five Guys. Sure, it’s…fine. But holy fuck, 20 bucks for a barely-better-than-McDonalds burger and not-better-than-McDonalds fries? Fuck all the way off.
2. Orcas. Yes, they are doing God’s Work attacking the yachts of the super-rich. But how many have they killed? Overgrown poseur dolphins…
3. Scarfs. My neck is not my most vulnerable point when it’s 20 below. If we’re going to put luxurious warm wool or cashmere somewhere, let’s make it underwear or socks, right?
4. Smartphones. They are God’s gift to pedants, allowing you to settle any bar argument (non-switchblade category) with ease. But did you guys know people can CALL you on them too? Just like that- no warning, no nothing. What the shit?
5. Skittles. Fight me, you know I’m right. When presented with M&Ms or Skittles, which do you go with? Zero hesitation, it’s M&Ms. Every. Fucking. Time.
Nobody mentioned the epitome of burger satisfaction, White Castle.
Actually had a cheeseburger slider the other day, which I had to have when we had stopped there to get chicken rings for my mother-in-law. And if you have to have pink slime chicken nuggets, the chicken ring can’t be beat.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheFarSide/comments/14x7ih9/we_got_personalized_plates_for_the_new_car/
One of the best cartoons ever,
Up there with Midvale School for the Gifted
Another classic!
.
“And the Rockies’ All-Star hits a homer to give the NL a 3-2 lead.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PCgSNLHtiM
North Korea just test fired another long-range ICBM.
How long before Trump takes credit for this by showing pictures of the actual blueprints of said missile he gave Rocket Man?
You mean the “Super Duper Missile”??
I still can’t fucking believe he said that
I don’t want to hear about Kim whatever until he’s willing to box Raytheon’s Chief Lobbyist on PPV.
Endorsed!
I did not know this.
https://twitter.com/CharlieWilson/status/1678878501343236097
[record scratch] Welp, this tune might be a bit more layered than I thought it was a few minutes ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17lkdqoLt44
Or maybe not.
Done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa5xH2a3HuI
The “whoops” followed by complete silence is just perfect.
Wow, that silence goes on for a LONG time.
Probably needed to replace the cough button after that one.
Also fuck John Henry for firing Don Orsillo.
SoCal folks, have you seen on the news those houses collapsing in that neighborhood? I’m sorry, but if you build your house in Rolling Hills, you pretty much asked for it!
That was really amateur. The classic California cliff slide happens in slow motion, giving you time to actually move the houses.
I’d rather build a house on Stationary Hills.
I mean, it’s right there in the names…
Yeah we didn’t buy a place in Crumbling Dogshit for a reason.
I didn’t think it was possible to get redlined for that neighborhood, but once again the Spamily proved the doubters wrong.
“We are Spamily, hey, hey, hey, y’all! I got all my spamsisters and me!”
-SOS, probably, very off-tune
THIS SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA I CALL IT A GREAT PLACE TO VISIT BECAUSE OF ITS BEAUTIFUL WEATHER AND BEACHES!
M&M’s every time.
Peanut Butter
Peanut
Regular
and that’s it. The rest are just weird.
BeerguyRob once sent me Candy Corn M & M’s to review when I used to do SNaxx.
I miss Snaxx
I still have some weirdness in the cupboard. (Not a dwarf) Plus Deci loves intl shopping. Could do a couple before the regular season starts.
What no Glossettes?
The peanuts were great-the mouth feel of the raisins weirded me out. So sticky.
Here’s the Dew Drop Inn . . .
. . . with our bartender, who at the correct angle bears a passing resemblance to Howard Stern:
Love the bartender’s t-shirt.
You too can have great times in DC if you visit me
One day…
The guts of the place:
I completely agree with all 5 HOT TAEKS at the end.
Five Guys is way overpriced. As is Shake Shack. Fight me.
That’s not a hot burger take. Here’s a hot burger take:
In N’ Out is overrated, too.
I didn’t say they were overrated, I said they were overpriced.
Dollar for dollar, In-N-Out beats them both. But they’re all delicious in their own way.
Then I retract the “too,” but otherwise stand by the take. In N Out’s burgers are pretty good, especially for the price, but they don’t merit the rhapsodic praise that they get. And I am stunned that their fries are so bad, and I don’t wanna hear that I need to use some special sooper sekrit ordering trick to have them done properly.
The best burger (or cheeseburger) and fries is at McDonald’s.
I haven’t been there in a while, so I don’t know what they taste like now, but Ted’s Montana Grill had the best burger in town.
Yes, the fries are not really fries. More like Canadian Hickory Sticks without the hickory flavour.
Oh there will be Hickory Sticks in Vegas!
As we don’t have any of these other burger places, Five guys is a bit more pricy than the others but to me worth it
I’m going to write a post comparing all three meals.
“Boots on the Toilet: Fast Food Showdown”
I love Jack in The Box when I am down there.
Stoned? Yep?
Want mediocre tacos? Burgers? Mozza Sticks? Popcorn Chicken? Milkshakes? Yep.
Come on in.
Five Guys is okay. The fries, regular or cajun, are better than McD’s but you have to eat them while they’re hot. You definitely get your money’s worth.
“I could suck down Five Guys any time!”
This is a good heads up. They are in the process of replacing the BK that has been on post for over 30 years with a 5 Guys. Having never been to one I’m now prepared for the opening. I’ll bring a bucket of money.
I would think/hope the prices would be better on base. You’ll have to let us know!
My post will probably run next Tuesday.
I will update with up to the minute news. But I suspect you are right. Without taxes and even after the 15% cut the PX takes, it’s probably still going to be a bit cheaper.
Well, the band that’s… at the shopping center?—is playing Stacy’s Mom. I guess I’m dad rock now.
1970. (Takes off shoes, carry the 1..) That album is 53 years old. I’m gonna crawl under the porch and die now.
Well Gerrit Cole did technically pitch a 1-2-3 inning so I’ll take it. Now I can watch otherwise meaningless baseball!
Re, scarVES: they are handsomeness enhancers. Very awesome. One of the very few Pros of < 60 temp 🥶
I prefer an as(balls perks up)cot.
I’m not saying they are BAD, just overrated. People talk like your survival hinges on whether you’ve got a strip of cloth wound around your neck.
Whereas I always feel like putting a scarf (or tie) around my neck is just tempting people to garrote me.
Or tie you up and poke you with sticks.
“Can’t make a bindle without a scarf”
-Ed Reed
Jim Tomsula nods approvingly
And very versatile, they can also make you look more mysterious, double as a belt, or signal a contact with their color or draping style!
Que the auto asphyxaction feels good meme
There it is!
I am team scarf too. Great accessory when cold.
Yeah, I once wore an apricot scarf to a party, and Carly Simon never stops singing about it.
That’s probably because you gavotte like Elaine on Seinfeld.
Bob Huggins reading the bible for the first time during his court-mandated alcohol recovery program: “Huh, yeah, blame the woman for everything!”
The Kamara thing has to be on security video somewhere, right?
There was definitely a kamara at the scene.
It was bitchin’.
Janay Rice Appologies for her role in the assault
Some good hiking in Greenland. Thankfully my knee has mostly stopped being a whiny little bitch and has resigned itself to climbing up rocky hills. Not too cold and if you’re looking for the dryest way through a boggy patch remember that moss holds a fuckton of water so you’re always better off stepping on slightly puddly grass than dry looking moss.
Midnight sun plus jetlag is super dsorienting.
I’ve seen videos of planes landing there and it looks like a wacky windswept adventure. Any issues on your flight?
None, not on my initial flight from Copenhagen to Kangerlussaq (Greenland’s main airport and US air base until the 90’s, the hostel I stayed at used to be the bar for the base) nor on my short prop-plane hop to Ilullisat. It is summer though, so the weather is quite mild. I’m guessing it’s way more dramatic in the winter. There was some old wreckage not far out of Kangerlussaq where 3 military jets crashed after getting lost in a sudden snowstorm and running out of fuel back in the air base days.
Cool, thanks for the 411 (that means emergency). I may visit there someday if Trump doesn’t buy it.
It’s definitely an interesting and beautiful spot. They also have a pretty neat flag!
Yes that flag just screams “Greenland”
My solution to the ‘has a wonky knee, wants to go hiking’ conundrum was to buy an extra small tensor bandage. You know, like for a kid. Why yes, there was plenty of support but it just prolonged the inevitable and I ended up with a blood clot.*
*may not have been related
This is day 4 with a lot of walking and day 3 of a lot of hills, and other than some minor stiffness after sitting or sleeping it’s doing fine so I think I’m in the clear. Today had a lot more rock scambling so if it’s not worse tomorrow I’m calling it essentially fully-functional
Did Fox just disrespect the troops by failing to properly capture that flyover?
Many people are asking this.
I’m on Team Skittles. In fact, you can generalize this to say that I will always pick a chewy fruit candy above a chocolate candy. It’s only even close if there are a generous amount of hazelnuts in the chocolate. Hi-chew is a strong contender for best chewy fruit candy.
Hi-Chew sours are the bomb.
Pink Starburst. And I’ll take M&M’s over any fruity candy.
Great just what we need, DFO making an enemy of Marshawn Lynch
“When push comes to shove, at any given time can you limit the amount of empty beer cans in your vehicle to below 10?”*
*first question asked during the interview process for the next WVU basketball coach
He could at least have put them in a bin bag and pretended he was driving to the recycling center
I’m not joking at all when I say where Huggs’ tire blew is honestly about ten miles from a recycling facility.
Dok needs to be on the law-talkin’ board here.
This also applies to KC Chiefs assistant coaches
This is very funny.
The truth as I see it? Huggins has got the stomach for a long legal battle.
/these jokes are writing themselves
Has he claimed he’s being “canceled” yet? Or is that tomorrow’s strategery?
You mean with regards to his employment at WVU or concerning having been cut off at the last bar he visited?
Yes.
Recycled from the previous thread: “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE ANTONIO BROWN IS RIGHT NOW?”
https://twitter.com/girlsreallyrule/status/1678854014023376896
He’s not in Albany, so there’s that…
They really should reinforce the glass in hotel windows in Vegas
Huggins: “THE TRUTH? I WAS COMPLETELY HAMMERED WHEN I SENT THAT EMAIL!”
Kroger Cashier: “Yes, I understand that sir but, once again, would you like to sign up for our Senior Points Discount card?”
FUN Huggy Beat thought – y’all think he wears undies under his mumu. or no?
He was facing a felony battery charge in connection with a beating he and his boys administered outside a Vegas night club
DFO Clubhouse: “Hey, who among us hasn’t done this?”*
*comment made on the site in late November, 2023
Hippo ROOLZ #1 – Just because folk can call don’t mean you gots to answer.
Hippo ROOLZ #2 – The (Once And??) Former King of Track Suits has lost me with that long-ass, rambly e-mail subject line. People who do that are WORSE THAN HITLER.
I have no idea what my ring tone is because I’ve had it off for years