Scene begins with a view of worn down home in Vancouver. Is it a crack shack or a mansion? nobody knows. The door opens, to reveal Wakezilla wearing a white Cam Wake jersey and no pants. He waves to the camera and signals for the camera crew to come in
Today is a weird day. Not just in the DFO Clubhouse either. All across America today, PERHAPS EVEN RIGHT NOW, the moon is blocking out the sun.
What greater metaphor for the 2017 Bears Football Season than that?! Abandon all hope ye who enter this season as Bears fans. In these
They know what they did.
I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how the Falcons let down 96% of the football viewing public, with Dreamboat's stupid, ugly face as large as Godzilla standing over him, roaring in triumph. After all, TAWMMY's
Current DFO Clubhouse before the Puerto Rican money rolls in.
The Commentists are all sitting around drinking their favoUrite libations and imbibing their narcotic of choice when suddenly there is a knock on the door. Through the marijuana haze MTWV peers through the window and falls back asleep.
LITRE COLA :I guess
Well, sports fans, last season was quite a disappointment for the Chicago Major League Baseball club's big brothers, as they plodded their way to a 5-7-2 record, finishing a dismal 5th place in the NFL West despite nearly scoring that magical number of 17 points per game. They even lost
That is the question. At the risk of stating the obvious, football is awesome. The hitting, the strategy, the fresh grass underfoot as your team of choice takes the field in that late summer warmth--they all fill you with excitement, anticipation, and joy.
Yet there is a key ingredient required to
Yes, it is my great pride and privilege to recap your 2017, DEFENDING SUPERB OWL L CHAMPION (nevar gets old saying that) Denver Broncos. If there has ever been a more extreme case of "playing with house money," it escapes my feeble, aged mind.
Let's recap, shall we. The 2016 Donks
(This preview has been brought to you by Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, Old School Zero, and sunrisesunrise)
Keenan Allen: Damn. This shit again.
Brandon Flowers: Yeah, tell me about it. Hell, I don’t even think Rivers has healed up from last season yet!
Philip Rivers: [Limps in on crutches, most of
I was too young to appreciate the Air Coryell days with Fouts, Alworth, Winslow, Joiner and Jefferson. I did however get to watch Stan Humphries and Natrone Means lead the Chargers to Super Bowl defeat against the juggernaut that was the 1994 49ers. I had the pleasure of then watching
Narrator: Chief Long Suffering
For thousands of years my people have dwelled on this land. It is a powerful land. It is full of the spirits that have been a part of our lives since the beginning. It can at times be joyful and life sustaining and it can also be
2015 DFO Chicago Bears Preview
A Conversation Between Cuntler and BrettFavresColonoscopy, moderated by Jeff Joniak
Jeff Joniak: Hey there, sports fans, welcome to the first ever Chicago Bears preview on Door Flies Open! I’m Jeff Joniak, voice of the Chicago Bears while you’re tailgating or at home and need to listen to