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If you’re a liberal elitist, you have had an awful week, and let’s be real you probably are. If you were conservative you’d be over on PFT smearing your boner all over the comment section. At least you get a new podcast today and some smash mouth footbaw tonight to distract you! What’s that? The Browns are playing… shit.

Speaking of the election, I wonder how it’s going over at NFL headquarters…

Scene: NFL Headquarters. ROGER GOODELL sits in an executive suite with his head in his hands there are unopened pizza boxes everywhere.

GOODELL: I have to stay strong. I know this season hasn’t gone well. Down ratings, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are personally trying to screw me, Josh Brown, more concussions, the officials, players kneeling while we try to salute our military. The MILITARY for God’s sake! I have to stay strong. Football IS family!!! I need to protect The Shield now more than ever. AND WHY WON’T ANYBODY EAT THE GODDAMN PIZZA!?!?!

[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

TRUMP: Well, well, well. Roger, how are you?

GOODELL: Donald! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be planning the new government? God knows I voted for you, along with most of the owners, but it didn’t really seem like you had much of… well… a plan.

[Trump grabs Goodell by the shoulders and begins shaking him]

TRUMP: God, you are the biggest pussy I have ever grabbed. I am working on Making America Great again, and it begins here with the NFL. You, Roger, are the reason this country is clamoring for change. ISIS? A wall? The economy? Huh? Do you think that real American’s give a shit about any of that? No, they want distraction. The NFL used to be that distraction until you ruined it. You’re fired.

We’re going back to the old ways. First, players don’t need to be protected. If they’re not physically and mentally handicapped at the end of their careers how do we know they were heroes on the gridiron? Bounties will be rewarded. You knock Colin Kaepernick out for the season, you get a million dollar bonus. You nail that sweet piece of ass on the road trip and you get a personal call from the President congratulating you. Pink jerseys will only be sold to women who are at least a New York 8 or an LA 6. If players or officials fail at their jobs they will be sent to Trump University for reeducation or fired outright. The Patriots will have all of their scandals covered up as thanks for Bill and Tom’s support. This is the way America becomes great again!

Now one final item before your inferior orange hair is permanently removed from this building. And I have to admit this is personal.

[Trump pulls out a check for $3.76 made out to the USFL and signs it. Goodell moans and sinks to the floor, clearly defeated]

Get out of my sight before your replacement arrives. He has been a loyal supporter of my campaign and his family has always fought for what Americans want out of the NFL.

GOODELL: Donald, who is it? Who could you possibly replace me with? I have done everything for this league.

[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

REX: HOW THE FU…….

[Immediately eyes the still unopened pizza boxes]

Rex: A goddamn snack! Being commissioner is going to be great!

So, what’s in this week’s podcast? We got all the usual segments like recaps, previews, fantasy football, betting, survivor pool picks, and of course everyone’s favorite segment, the Basket of Deplorables. We also use our flex segment to look at the shape of the league’s playoff race now that we’re past the halfway point.

Don’t forget to Hit us up on Twitter for our daily NFL thoughts and to let us know what games/questions/Basket of Deplorables candidates you think we should cover.

You can subscribe and listen to the podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud.