This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update

The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week.

That’s your update.

Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of the season so far, filled with hilarious swear words and celebrating the pleasure-pain that is the Buffalo Fan Experience.

There would be some mention of the many injuries sustained (notably the defensive rookies and Sammy Watkins). I’d probably make some mention of Richard Sherman attempting to take off Dan Carpenter’s leg at the knee, which a national television audience saw but none of the officials did (Touchdown Seahawks, I guess).

Hell, I’d probably make some snarky comment about the logic of trying to fix an underperforming defense by firing the offensive coordinator- and the insanity that it actually worked for a couple of games.

I’d praise them for taking down the Cardinals and splitting the series with the Greatriots (even if one was against a man named Brisket). I’d be pissed they made the Jets and Dolphins look good. I’d make another crack about Touchdown Seahawks.

But I can’t.

I can’t for the same reason the entire world (other than Russia) is shitting its collective pants right now.

I can’t because several years ago I and the rest of my misguided tribe got angry and scared that some narcissistic billionaire with creepy “hair” who’d run half of his businesses into the ground was trying to buy my Bills. And I was worried about the damage he was going to do if he was in charge of a motherfucking football team.

Well, here we are. Fearless Leader and Balls of Steel have given excellent commentaries, so I will leave it at that.

But dear God, for a simpler time when I worried about Donald Trump and my fucking football team.

The Bills will finish even at 8-8. And I don’t care.