[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

It’s been a crappy week all around…especially if you’re a Democratic candidate under 70, amirite?!

Folks, guess what you can’t buy for a half-billion dollars? A Nomination!

Or even a half of a half-billion dollars? A delegate!

Women!

Politics, it’s a fickle mistress. Much like this guy’s

I tell you folks, thanks for coming into [DFO] Open Mike night. The jokes are as stale as the bread. Hi-YO! And don’t forget to tip your gif server, Moose!

He’s a little intense so try not to raise your voice, as hard “K”s trigger him. Please just write your 20% tip anywhere on the bill, and for God’s sake DON’T LOOK AT THE GOITER!

Tonight’s sports:

NHL:
- Habs at Panthers – 7:00PM | CBC / Sportsnet
- Sens at Sharks – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1 / City TV
- Blue Jackets at Oilers – 10:00PM | CBC
NBA:
- 76ers at Warriors – 8:30PM | ABC / TSN2
NCAA:
- North Carolina at Duke – 6:00PM | ESPN
- Oklahoma at TCU – 6:00PM | ESPN2
- DePaul at Providence – 6:30PM | FS1
- Butler at Xavier – 8:30PM | FS1
- Washington at Arizona – 10:00PM | ESPN
Fisticuffs:
- FOX PBC Fight Night:
  - Adam Kownacki vs. Robert Helenius – 8:00PM | FOX
- UFC 248
  - Prelims – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
Futbol:
- LA Galaxy vs. Whitecaps FC – 10:00PM | TSN

I’ve been at the Rugby Sevens all day. Hopefully I’m leaving with memories & not the corona virus.

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BC Dick

March 8, 2020 3:25 am

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v5tr_L31StI

Unsurprised

March 8, 2020 1:50 am

It’s amazing how Bill Clinton gets a pass by all the #metoo people.

BC Dick

Reply to Unsurprised

March 8, 2020 1:55 am

And he murdered a guy.

Brick Meathook

Reply to BC Dick

March 8, 2020 3:02 am

No, Hillary murdered a guy.

Brick Meathook

Reply to Unsurprised

March 8, 2020 3:05 am

Bill Clinton was the first African-American president. Barack Obama was a dark-skinned white guy.

BC Dick

Reply to Brick Meathook

March 8, 2020 3:08 am

Have you read hunter Thompson’s story about bill and the French fries? It’s gold. The apology letter and everything. Bill is hands down the coolest president. Probably coolest of any state leader ever , anywhere. No. Not probably. He wins every “who’d you rather have a beer with?” contest.

BC Dick

Reply to Brick Meathook

March 8, 2020 3:12 am

When you think about it, every American is African American.

Brick Meathook

Reply to BC Dick

March 8, 2020 3:26 am

When you think about it, every Canadian can’t vote for the U.S. President, can’t vote for the living person who’s face is on your money, and can’t vote for the Chinese who are colonizing you. I’m drunk.

BC Dick

Reply to Brick Meathook

March 8, 2020 3:33 am

That is true. But we don’t want to, we don’t care, and your president and some flu bug have them tied up very well at the moment.

BC Dick

Reply to BC Dick

March 8, 2020 3:47 am

And she’s only on the twenty. We changed the ten dollar bill to a black female civil rights icon and the five is going to be a one legged cancer almost survivor marathon running charity fundraising all around good guy.
Your hardcore left is what our grandmothers keep in the pantry next to the hot name brand soda. And we disagree over our issues as politely as possible.
Americans should be jealous. We fight elections over whether milk farmers should be able to keep their negotiated amounts of litres produced at the same rate as the last ten year contract. You hosers should be able to have a contest of ideas without resorting to national socialism and mass shootings. God bless the duke of argyle.

Brick Meathook

Reply to BC Dick

March 8, 2020 3:58 am

$1: The guy who beat the British
$2: The guy who told the British to fuck off
$5: The guy who ended slavery
$10: Some guy
$20: The guy who invented the $20 bill
$50: The guy who really ended slavery
$100: The guy who invented electricity and farting

Not a weak sister among them, except for Hamilton, who should be replaced by Neil Armstrong.

BC Dick

Reply to Brick Meathook

March 8, 2020 4:11 am

Didn’t have to end slavery. Asked politely to be independent, saving lives all over.
Have had a female leader and even French ones. You can’t out progressive us, buddy.
But I don’t meant to say the US isn’t a great nation with great history and people. I love the USA and their people and values. I’m just having fun with the concept.