Two Feel Good Stories-Who Ya Got? An Open Thread

Jayden Daniels has that “Wiser than his years” look that Mahomes had back in the day but methinks they’re simply overmatched here vs a team of destiny. Let’s take a look.

To The Game!

Commies/Lions:

-I think that Washington needs to get to 40 points to have a chance here but they’ll fall a bit short.

-Prediction: On Detroit’s opening drive they’re going to shove the running game down the Commies throat and there’s nothing the latter will be able to do about it because they are middling vs the run.

-Another thing that Washington needs to do is keep their punter off the field. The good news? They’ve done this three times this year.

-Although Gibbs could have driven this team all the way through the playoffs, the addition of Montgomery makes the Lions’ offense all that more powerful.

-These two teams are the only ones in the league that have scored points on more than 50% of their drives this year.

-For you few Washington fans-not too bad for a re-tooling year, huh?

-This Might Come in Handy: Daniels and Co. have converted nearly 90% of their 4th down chances. Take that, Campbell!

-Random Symmetrical Stats Alert: The Lions led the league in yards after the catch and the Commies were the very best at allowing the least of same.

-The O/U of 55.5 is the highest set since the Bucs/Chiefs Super Bowl.

Gimme some of those sweet, sweet comments.

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BugEyedBoo

A good friend of mine recently underwent radiation therapy for prostate cancer. At some point during the treatment things down there got so swollen that he had to get a catheter. This was about three months ago. That stuff that I was complaining about, he was getting in spades (except for my first night – I can top him on that). He was ready to do anything to get that catheter removed – TURP, roto-rooter, whatever. But the doctor told him to hang tight, and since his wife was a nurse she could remove the catheter from time to time and see if the plumbing is working again. Today she removed the catheter, and things are flowing.

We’ve know each other for getting close to fifty years now. I told him that I bet we never thought fate would turn us into urinary tract experts.

Since impotence can be a problem when , I sent him some pictures to hopefully wake things up down there.

1737251710212
BugEyedBoo

*when things have problems down there. Proofread at 2 AM! Nonsense, I say!

Gatoraids
Brick Meathook

“Why are there people like Frank?”

Gatoraids

otherwise the Cabinet would be empty

Mr. Ayo

All condolences to LA, but I lost a hat tonight thanks to their shitty effort and defense.

As a sign of solidarity I won’t set up a GoFundMe for my replacement hat that’s 25% off at the team store. I’ll just use one of the spares I have lying around.

Doktor Zymm

Are you from the future? I guess this means the Eagles win, but do they cover?

Although you’re probably talking about ice football. But you could still be from the future

Last edited 2 hours ago by Doktor Zymm
Mr. Ayo

They do not cover. The lost hat is the allegory element here. The exposed bald spot is the other.

Mr. Ayo

Son of bitch! The hat I threw is no longer available!

Doktor Zymm

Ebay? Or stadium lost and found?

Mr. Ayo

Hats tossed on the ice are long gone. Ebay has nothing.

It’s fine, I have two other hats. Just need to keep the one I got for being a first year season ticket holder.

Doktor Zymm

Ugh, Snoop

Gatoraids

MAGA WAS THE CASE THEY GAVE ME

Doktor Zymm

Licking on gin and boots

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Minor stretch with this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxDv_RTdLQo

Fronkenshteen

Well one thing is for certain. After that clutch defensive performance, Woody Johnson is now gleefully drafting Aaron Glenn’s contract to be the new HC of the NYJ.

Doktor Zymm

I actually do feel kinda bad for Goff and Detroit, but also… WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Last edited 3 hours ago by Doktor Zymm
yeah right

That kid?

That fucking kid?

He’s got something.

yeah right
Gatoraids
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Beerguyrob

One more:

IMG_6519
Unsurprised

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

oh come on they beat the chargers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gatoraids

Obligatory

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Unsurprised

This could be a Stefon bit.

The Fuck Tomb has everything. Sad Lions fans. Drunk Kommentists. And is that Dan Snyder in the corner? No! It’s a child playing in his own feces.

Unsurprised

I had to get the Snyder dig in there, but it deserves a COMMIE WAVING A BANDANA FROM HER HOO-HAH

Doktor Zymm

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

a fuck tomb is where derek carr lost his virginity ppl forget that

Unsurprised

It’s fitting that like TikTok, Commies will move on to future endeavors (Xiaohongshu)

Gatoraids

needs the Inside the NBA crew for gone fishing segments

Gatoraids

J.O.B. Squad

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Didn’t get a chance to enjoy this last night so I’m catchin’ up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9UmMP7FouE

yeah right

Listen to Knopfler play every end of those chords.

Killing it.

Unsurprised

I’m going to investigate this further.

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Unsurprised

Whoa. That’s not what I expected.

Sharkbait

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Brick Meathook

Dee says: “Go ahead, put my money in there!”

https://ibb.co/nkF8ck5

Unsurprised
Beerguyrob

Accurate.

BB7BA733-B9AC-4E75-8F71-84F4C3746BDE
Gatoraids

Between this and the news of Fire Fighter + Pilot Combinations

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Beerguyrob

Gronk talking about Kliff Kingsbury being good at grooming players doesn’t sound so bad because he never worked at Penn State.

2Pack

For all the power in the NFC North this season, all three teams were one and done in the playoffs.

ballsofsteelandfury

Technically, Chicago has a better record than them.

jjfozz

Confirmed my Skins loving brother in law cheatedon my sister Do I kill him now, or now?

ballsofsteelandfury

Two days ago

Unsurprised

You what? You were with us the whole time.

jjfozz

I can’t go to prison, well I could, but I have to kill him. Any ideas?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nothing against the Commies but today’s results are very much in keeping with my expectations for 2025.

Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

So this is what it’s like to be a fan of a team that wins playoff games. It’s nice!

Unsurprised

Oh, wait. You really weren’t old enough for the post-Strike era.

/Falls on cane like a samurai

Doktor Zymm

I wasn’t raised with football. The last time WAS was in the Owl I’m pretty sure I requested ‘Clarissa Explains it All’ because it was only on once a week and was rebuffed with the response that the Super Bowl is only once a year and then I went to my room and pouted.

2Pack

Yeah funny how far a team can go unburdened by meddling ownership.

ThePirateSloth

The game ended with a combined 1,002 yards. That’s insane.

Brocky

Danny I just realized it’s almost midnight on the east coast

Sharkbait

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Beerguyrob

Is there anything to burn in Detroit if there’s a riot?

Unsurprised

Whatever it is, chances are that Dan Gilbert owns it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think there’s still a few piles of rubble left.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I presume Hippo has already typed up an Ode to Baby Buster’s Return.

Doktor Zymm

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BANDANA HOO-HAH CLUBHOUSE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Unsurprised

Oops

ballsofsteelandfury

There it is! Game-sealing INT!

Last edited 4 hours ago by ballsofsteelandfury
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Called it.

Brick Meathook

CHECK. MATE.

LemonJello

Turn your head and Goff one last time.

Brocky

Good fantasy name.

Glad I never had the chance to use it

Unsurprised

August is just around the corner

Doktor Zymm

“Just” an onside kick and a hail mary

Redshirt

Announcer: “We secretly replaced the Detroit Lions with the Detroit Lions. Let’s see if anyone notices…”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I love that Brady’s like “gotta leave some time for the onside kick and Hail Mary” as if Goff won’t fuck this up well before then.

Last edited 4 hours ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
fleshwound_NPG

tbf, the other coach is quinn, brady knows this well

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY BFC I CALL HIM BABE RUTH BECAUSE HE CALLED HIS SHOT!

fleshwound_NPG

you assholes broke the heart of kendra lust

kendra-lions1
Gatoraids

surprised we found something left to break on her

Redshirt

A Buffalo Bills-Washington Red(static)s Super Bowl rematch would be nice.

Unsurprised

I was thinking the same thing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which is why we’ll probably get KC-LA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t you mean KC/Zebras vs. LA?

Doktor Zymm

shutupshutupshutup

ThePirateSloth

Shut. Up. Brady.

Redshirt

YES! PARLAY IS STILL ALIVE!

Oh, sorry Lions fans. Better luck next year.

ballsofsteelandfury

The funny thing is that I would have gone for it there

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Same

Beerguyrob

This loss is so bad Barry Sanders is going to retire again.