Man, I love smoking.

Sure, some people have some complications. But if it was really that bad everyone would already be dead. The whole world used to smoke and enough of them made it through to put billions more people on the planet. As for the benefits? Let me tell you, there are plenty.

It is delicious. With morning coffee, while driving, with beer and with whisky. After a meal and after doing dirty stuff. Even just standing around waiting. A cigarette never fails to satisfy.

It also looks cool. If teachers and parents and guidance counsellors and especially anti-whatever activists say something doesn’t look cool, you can bet that it does. All the coolest movie stars smoked.

The list goes on and on.

You can even play sports and still smoke.

And let’s be honest here. Nobody reading this is going to be a pro football player or anything else like that so there’s mostly just the casual sports left anyway.

Not only is darts an obvious smoking sport, there’s also curling, bowling, golf, etc. With the bonus that you also can and should drink when partaking in any of those sports.

And now we have research from France (of course) and elsewhere showing the benefits of smoking for both preventing contraction and reducing the severity of covid if you do catch it.

You owe it not only to yourself but to the entirety of society to go light one up right now.

Smoking is a fun, tasty, mostly outdoor activity that boosts your immune system and is safe for the whole family to enjoy. Family meals should be a time for us to get together with our loved ones and share a long, satisfying smoke while we discuss the day.

Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Do it for your country. Do it for the world.

Start smoking today. Your cool future self will thank you for it.