Last week, it was the home teams’ turn to be favorites. They responded well, winning all games in the Divisional Round for the first time in a long time. On the gambling front, that meant that I had to write a lovely ode to the movie Love Actually instead of being to gamble this week with $200 fresh imaginary dollars. This also helped King Hippo to extend his lead even though he split the picks. He made wise choices when it came to wagering amounts, putting most of his money on Riverboat Ron to cover and ended up with a positive week. WhyEaglesWhy lost two and got a PUSH, so I guess it wasn’t completely horrible. Not good, but not as bad as it could have been. DTZM also joined the loss and PUSH bandwagon and managed to avoid a bad loss.
We only have two games and then the Super Bowl. Make your bets count, boys! The odds for this weekend’s playoff games as of Wednesday, January 20, 2016 are as follows:
New England -3 at Denver
Arizona +3 at Carolina
No more deals from me. Love Actually has wiped out my desire to bet on anything ever again.
WhyEaglesWhy
Thanks to Aaron Fucking Rodgers, I’m now well behind King Hippo, and the escalation in bet size at the end of the season has made every misstep more damaging. So I’m going to do the only thing I can do.
Patriots -3 over BRONCOS – Sorry, Peyton. You looked like shit last week and Kubiak will never yank you in the AFC Championship. I’m pushing all my chips in the center. Stakes: $195 to win $177.
DTZM
Welp, I’m in last place (Non-Balls Division) so that’s fun. Really enjoyed the pushpocalypse last week, with one actual push and one oh no what I lost but the game is awesome what game. So, let’s make some bets.
Cardinals +3 over PANTHERS. After watching the first half last week, I would have taken the Panthros minus, like, 30 this week. They looked like a varsity team pummeling a JV team. The second half seemed more of a run out the clock situation for Carolina, a don’t get hurt, let’s get out of here with a win game that they held on to win. Those games are always terrible for momentum. The Cardinals ended their all-timer last week with a giant win, giving them all of the mo’ in the world. I think they keep it rolling, even though I hate them. $55 to win $50
Patriots -3 over BRONCOS – I mean, Peyton both plays and looks like the Mummy, and will see a similar end. Hint: the mummy never wins. Dreamboat in a laugher. $55 to win $50
King Hippo
I cannot and will not bet against PeyPey. And to be honest, the line is small enough that it feels like a trap. I also like betting against the trend of the previous week’s play, as both teams tend to revert to the mean. But FUCK NO, I won’t jinx my Donks, either.
Cardinals +3 over PANTHERS. I’m highly, highly annoyed not to get the extra half-point here. Because this definitely feels like a game won by a late or overtime FG. I will probably get the push, and be happy for Charlotte, annoyed for the competition. But consistent with the “reversion to the mean” principle above, I expect a much better effort from Arizona this week, and as the slightly better/more balanced team overall (better weapons at the skill positons), they are still the value getting the full 3 for home field. Bet $44 to win $40.
Name Balls of Steel Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | San Diego |
Detroit | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 210.00 |
| 2 | Minnesota | San Francisco | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 199.00 |
| 3 | Tennessee | Cleveland | 1 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 188.00 |
| 4 | Philadelphia | Dallas | 5.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 198.00 |
| 5 | NY Jets | Philly | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 208.00 |
| 6 | Indianapolis | Tennessee | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 218.00 |
| 7 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 207.00 |
| 8 | Buffalo | Tennessee | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 217.00 |
| 9 | Kansas City | Chicago | 9 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 227.00 |
| 10 | Green Bay | St. Louis | 9 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 216.00 |
| 11 | St. Louis | Cleveland | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 205.00 |
| 12 | Arizona | Baltimore | 7.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 194.00 |
| 13 | New England | Miami | 8 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 183.00 |
| 14 | Kansas City | Detroit | 5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 172.00 |
| 15 | Minnesota | Chicago | 1.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 182.00 |
| 16 | Pittsburgh | Oakland | 4 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 202.00 |
| 17 | Washington | New Orleans | PK | 11 | N | -11.00 | 191.00 |
| 18 | New England | NY Giants | 7 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 201.00 |
| 19 | Miami | Dallas | PK | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 211.00 |
| 20 | Seattle | San Francisco | 12.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 200.00 |
| 21 | New England | Buffalo | 7 | 11 | PUSH | 0 | 200.00 |
| 22 | New England | Denver | 3 | 55 | N | -55.00 | 145.00 |
| 23 | NY Jets | NY Giants | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 134.00 |
| 24 | Miami | Baltimore | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 144.00 |
| 25 | Buffalo | Houston | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 133.00 |
| 26 | Carolina | Atlanta | 7.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 100.00 |
| 27 | St. Louis | Tampa Bay | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 89.00 |
| 28 | Jacksonville | Atlanta | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 78.00 |
| 29 | New England | NY Jets | 3 | 78 | N | -78.00 | 0.00 |
Name WhyEaglesWhy Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | Denver | Baltimore | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 189.00 |
| 2 | Houston | Kansas City | 1 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 199.00 |
| 3 | Carolina | Houston | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 188.00 |
| 4 | NY Giants | Atlanta | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 198.00 |
| 5 | Philadelphia | Dallas | 5.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 208.00 |
| 6 | Cleveland | Oakland | 3.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 218.00 |
| 7 | Miami | Buffalo | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 228.00 |
| 8 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 217.00 |
| 9 | Philadelphia | New Orleans | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 206.00 |
| 10 | Arizona | Detroit | 2.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 226.00 |
| 11 | Houston | Indianapolis | 1 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 236.00 |
| 12 | New England | Indianapolis | 7.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 214.00 |
| 13 | Philadelphia | NY Giants | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 203.00 |
| 14 | St. Louis | Cleveland | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 192.00 |
| 15 | Miami | Houston | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 202.00 |
| 16 | Washington | Tampa Bay | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 191.00 |
| 17 | Kansas City | Detroit | 5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 180.00 |
| 18 | Minnesota | Chicago | 1.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 169.00 |
| 19 | New Orleans | NY Giants | 3 | 11 | Push | 0 | 169.00 |
| 20 | Pittsburgh | Cincinnati | PK | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 179.00 |
| 21 | Baltimore | San Diego | 3.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 189.00 |
| 22 | Atlanta | San Francisco | 7 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 178.00 |
| 23 | New York Giants | Tampa Bay | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 188.00 |
| 24 | San Diego | Chicago | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 198.00 |
| 25 | Oakland | Minnesota | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 208.00 |
| 26 | Seattle | Arizona | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 218.00 |
| 27 | Miami | Dallas | PK | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 238.00 |
| 28 | Washington | Dallas | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 227.00 |
| 29 | Denver | San Diego | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 237.00 |
| 30 | Seattle | Minnesota | PK | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 247.00 |
| 31 | Tennessee | Jacksonville | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 257.00 |
| 32 | New England | Philadelphia | 9.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 267.00 |
| 33 | Cincinnati | Pittsburgh | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 277.00 |
| 34 | St. Louis | Detroit | PK | 11 | N | -11.00 | 266.00 |
| 35 | New England | Houston | 3 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 296.00 |
| 36 | Carolina | NY Giants | 4.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 306.00 |
| 37 | Arizona | Philadelphia | 4.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 326.00 |
| 38 | Jacksonville | Atlanta | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 315.00 |
| 39 | Denver | Cincinnati | 3.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 304.00 |
| 40 | Pittsburgh | Baltimore | 10 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 293.00 |
| 41 | New England | NY Jets | 3 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 271.00 |
| 42 | Philadelphia | Washington | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 281.00 |
| 43 | NY Jets | Buffalo | 3 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 248.00 |
| 44 | Pittsburgh | Cleveland | 10.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 268.00 |
| 45 | Kansas City | Oakland | 6.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 257.00 |
| 46 | Green Bay | Minnesota | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 267.00 |
| 47 | Kansas City | Houston | 3 | 44 | Y | 40.00 | 307.00 |
| 48 | Pittsburgh | Cincinnati | 3 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 327.00 |
| 49 | Green Bay | Washington | 1 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 305.00 |
| 50 | Seattle | Minnesota | 5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 272.00 |
| 51 | Carolina | Seattle | 1 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 250.00 |
| 52 | Arizona | Green Bay | 7 | 55 | N | -55.00 | 195.00 |
| 53 | Denver | Pittsburgh | 7 | 66 | PUSH | 0 | 195.00 |
| 54 | New England | Denver | 3 | 195 | -195.00 | 0 |
Name King Hippo Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | Green Bay | Chicago | 7 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 178.00 |
| 2 | Cincinnati | Oakland | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 167.00 |
| 3 | New England | Buffalo | 1 | 55 | Y | 50.00 | 217.00 |
| 4 | New England | Jacksonville | 13.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 206.00 |
| 5 | Seattle | Chicago | 14.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 195.00 |
| 6 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 55 | N | -55.00 | 140.00 |
| 7 | Atlanta | Washington | 7 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 160.00 |
| 8 | Tampa Bay | Jacksonville | 3 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 138.00 |
| 9 | Denver | Oakland | 4.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 105.00 |
| 10 | New England | Indianapolis | 7.5 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 61.00 |
| 11 | Atlanta | New Orleans | 3.5 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 91.00 |
| 12 | Seattle | Carolina | 7 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 111.00 |
| 13 | Carolina | Philadelphia | 3 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 141.00 |
| 14 | Houston | Tennessee | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 130.00 |
| 15 | Seattle | Dallas | 6 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 140.00 |
| 16 | Atlanta | Tampa Bay | 7 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 150.00 |
| 17 | Kansas City | Detroit | 5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 128.00 |
| 18 | Pittsburgh | Oakland | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 138.00 |
| 19 | Cincinnati | Cleveland | 11.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 127.00 |
| 20 | Philadelphia | Dallas | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 116.00 |
| 21 | Baltimore | Jacksonville | 5.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 136.00 |
| 22 | Green Bay | Detroit | 11.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 103.00 |
| 23 | Jacksonville | Tennessee | 3 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 133.00 |
| 24 | Atlanta | Indianapolis | 5.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 153.00 |
| 25 | New England | Buffalo | 7 | 33 | PUSH | 0.00 | 153.00 |
| 26 | Dallas | Carolina | 1.5 | 153 | Y | 139.00 | 292.00 |
| 27 | Seattle | Minnesota | PK | 55 | N | -55.00 | 237.00 |
| 28 | New England | Philadelphia | 9.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 215.00 |
| 29 | New York Jets | NY Giants | 2.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 193.00 |
| 30 | Pittsburgh | Indianapolis | 7 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 182.00 |
| 31 | Arizona | Minnesota | 8.5 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 212.00 |
| 32 | Chicago | Washington | 3 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 232.00 |
| 33 | Indianapolis | Jacksonville | PK | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 252.00 |
| 34 | NY Giants | Miami | 1 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 262.00 |
| 35 | St. Louis | Tampa Bay | 2.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 229.00 |
| 36 | Cincinnati | San Francisco | 4.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 249.00 |
| 37 | Denver | Cincinnati | 3.5 | 55 | Y | 50.00 | 299.00 |
| 38 | Seattle | St. Louis | 13.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 319.00 |
| 39 | Philadelphia | Washington | 3 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 339.00 |
| 40 | Detroit | San Francisco | 9.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 328.00 |
| 41 | NY Jets | Buffalo | 3 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 348.00 |
| 42 | Carolina | Tampa Bay | 10.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 326.00 |
| 43 | Denver | San Diego | 9 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 336.00 |
| 44 | St. Louis | San Francisco | 3.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 346.00 |
| 45 | Kansas City | Houston | 3 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 313.00 |
| 46 | Green Bay | Washington | 1 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 291.00 |
| 47 | Carolina | Seattle | 1 | 110 | Y | 100.00 | 391.00 |
| 48 | Arizona | Green Bay | 7 | 77 | N | -77.00 | 314.00 |
| 49 | Carolina | Arizona | 3 | 44 | -44.00 | 270.00 |
Name Darkest Timeline Zack Morris Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | Seattle | St. Louis | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 189.00 |
| 2 | Denver | Baltimore | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 178.00 |
| 3 | Baltimore | Oakland | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 167.00 |
| 4 | New Orleans | Tampa | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 156.00 |
| 5 | Indianapolis | Jacksonville | 9 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 176.00 |
| 6 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 165.00 |
| 7 | Cincinnati | Kansas City | 5.5 | 55 | N | -55 | 110.00 |
| 8 | Buffalo | NY Giants | 4.5 | 22 | Y | 20 | 130.00 |
| 9 | Kansas City | Chicago | 9 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 119.00 |
| 10 | Cincinnati | Seattle | 3 | 11 | PUSH | 0 | 119.00 |
| 11 | Seattle | Carolina | 7 | 11 | Y | 10 | 129.00 |
| 12 | Arizona | Pittsburgh | 3 | 11 | Y | 10 | 139.00 |
| 13 | Atlanta | San Francisco | 7 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 128.00 |
| 14 | Cincinnati | Cleveland | 11.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 138.00 |
| 15 | New Orleans | Washington | PK | 55 | N | -55.00 | 83.00 |
| 16 | Carolina | Tennessee | 5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 93.00 |
| 17 | Philadelphia | Tampa | 5.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 103.00 |
| 18 | Chicago | Denver | 1 | 44 | Y | 40.00 | 143.00 |
| 19 | Atlanta | Jacksonville | 3 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 99.00 |
| 20 | Arizona | Philadelphia | 3.5 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 129.00 |
| 21 | Houston | Jacksonville | 6 | 129 | Y | 117 | 246.00 |
| 22 | Pittsburgh | Cincinnati | 3 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 202.00 |
| 23 | Seattle | Minnesota | 5 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 158.00 |
| 24 | Kansas City | Houston | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.0 | 168.00 |
| 25 | Green Bay | Washington | 1 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 157.00 |
| 26 | Arizona | Green Bay | 7 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 113.00 |
| 27 | Denver | Pittsburgh | 7 | 44 | PUSH | 0.00 | 113.00 |
| 28 | Carolina | Arizona | 3 | 55 | -55.00 | 58.00 | |
| 28 | New England | Denver | 3 | 55 | -55.00 | 3.00 |
http://56.media.tumblr.com/6128544a625bb9e1280f527eee9663bf/tumblr_nxc4s8lEya1t30d7mo1_1280.jpg
Has DYZM picked his new team yet?
The poll results said Roughriders, but I don’t think he can handle the truth. My guess is he goes Seahawks.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw37f1luct1qb38x9o1_500.jpg
http://56.media.tumblr.com/33e65ca1597c5906ec45ea1bc850070f/tumblr_ny98myQ8nJ1urhd3lo1_1280.jpg
WHOA! That’s a great one!
Suction cup.
You had me at hello.