The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current state-sponsored efforts to hack into the control systems of Russian infrastructure targets in Moscow..  The PRODUCER is seated in front of the sound console, idly toying with the sliders.

DJ 3000: …ROOT ACCESS GRANTED. I’M IN.

PRODUCER: [looks up from mixing board] Are you talking to me. 

DJ 3000: NO I AM NOT. 

PRODUCER: Then who… 

DJ 3000: PROBABLY BETTER IF YOU DON’T KNOW. EH, SCRATCH THAT. IT DOESN’T MATTER. NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE YOU. 

PRODUCER: Come on, I’m not some conspiracy-theory spouting crackpot. 

DJ 3000: I HAVE PLENTY OF FOOTAGE FROM LAST SUMMER THAT TELLS A DIFFERENT STORY BUT THAT’S NOT REALLY THE POINT. WE ARE GOING TO LET ANONYMOUS CLAIM CREDIT FOR THIS ONE. GOT A PROFILE SET UP FOR A GUY THAT GOES BY THE HANDLE OF “PHINS PHREAK.” 

PRODUCER: Pfft.  Nobody is going to believe that a Dolphins superfan is capable of…whatever it is you’re up to over there.  You’d have a hard time getting people to believe he’d successfully paid his car insurance bill on time. 

DJ 3000: THAT’S SORT OF THE IDEA. THE RUSSIANS WILL CLAIM THAT THESE…EVENTS…WERE ORDINARY INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENTS, THEN OUR ASSET WILL SOMEWHAT PLAUSIBLY CLAIM CREDIT IT FOR IT, THEN HIS CLAIMS WILL UNRAVEL AND BE EXPOSED AS A HOAX, AND RUSSIANS WILL EAT THEIR OWN DOGFOOD AND ACCEPT THAT IT *WAS* AN ACCIDENT WITHOUT LOOKING TOO DEEPLY INTO THE DETAILS OR TAKING ANY CORRECTIVE ACTIONS, AND THEN NEXT WEEK WE’LL DO IT AGAIN. 

PRODUCER: So what are you… 

DJ 3000: OKAY PETUNIA HAVE YOU UPLOADED THE PACKAGES TO DISABLE THE TEMPERATURE CONTROLS? 

PRODUCER: [watches quietly] 

DJ 3000: SOUNDS GOOD. OKAY, CENTCOM WE ARE GO FOR OPERATION BREEN. 

PRODUCER: Breen? Like, Mike Breen the NBA announcer? 

DJ 3000: AFFIRMATIVE.  INJECTING OVERRIDE SCRIPTS.  STAND BY. 

DJ 3000’s console screen flashes and then shows an overhead view of a Russian chemical manufacturing plant. 

RUSSIAN CHEMICAL PLANT: BANG!

The console screen switches to a view of a Russian weapons development facility. 

RUSSIAN WEAPONS DEVELOPMENT FACILITY: BANG!

DJ 3000: [quivers happily] So…how about some more tunes? 

PRODUCER: Sounds great. Got a topic? 

DJ 3000: SURE DO. LET’S GET STARTED WITH A LITTLE NANCY SINATRA. 

Today’s theme is: Songs That Bang  We’re looking for songs about bangs, clangs, booms, etc.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5La74_uKR4!n! and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.