Hello. My name is OldSchoolZero and I’d like to talk at you for a while. Please feel free to fall asleep, or masturbate and then fall asleep, or fall asleep and masturbate, or just masturbate, while I blah blah blah blah blah blah.

I had a whole post in my head to write where I worked up from my dissatisfaction with a piece of gum to my dissatisfaction with this modern world (FUCK YOU, CLOUDS!), and while I might still write it, today is not that day. I’m not that motivated nor that angry yet. So, I’m going to give you all some REAL (boring) TALK about today.

I only have four work days left at this job, and I’ve pretty much run out of work to do. This doesn’t exactly suck, but holy shit, I’m bored. The SNL mock draft has been fun, as has the NFL fatalities comments, but my work computer sucks ass with anything above basic HTML most of the time, so once the mock draft gets long, it becomes harder to deal with. One note: when I start my new job on May 4th (goddamn Star Wars nerds), I probably won’t be posting during the day nearly as much, or at least for a while. This job, as awful as it has been, has definitely been overly lax when it comes to oversight, so I’ve been free to dick around so much I practically feel like a lawyer! I promise, though, to continue posting. Bud Winston has not yet told his full saga.

My morning now consists of figuring out just how long I have to stay around here before I can go work from home. I could probably go now, but I suppose that one email that might come through that might require my attention might be worth waiting around for. At least until lunch.

A few random reviews:

• Pappy Van Winkle 15 year is excellent stuff. I had some to celebrate my new job, and it was very special stuff. As smooth as I assumed, with a good Kentucky bite to it, and some distinct smoke that came out with a little water.
• Courtney Barnett is my new favorite musician. I have both her EP and recent album, and I can’t stop listening to them.
• Slow roasted tri tip makes for excellent leftovers sandwiches.
• Interstellar sucks. S. U. C. K. S. My favorite non-Guardians space movie I’ve seen in the last few years is “Moon”. I can’t recommend that one enough. And if you like a lot of science in your sci-fi, read “The Martian”.
• The Southern Reach Trilogy (“Area X”) is also a great read, with hints of Roadside Picnic, the good Lost years, HP Lovecraft, and China Mieville.
• If you have an iPhone and you’re not playing Calculords, you’re missing out.
• Borderlands 2 is entirely too fun, and conquering Runner 2 as a pickle was really enjoyable. I forgot how hard Resident Evil was. Deadly Premonition is like Twin Peaks meets The Room meets GTA III.

Anybody have any cool weekend plans? Favorite recent beers? Know of any bacon better than Neuske’s? I DOUBT IT!

Happy Friday. Let’s go get a beer.