A Chili By Any Other Name

laserguru

laserguru

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn’t plate.
laserguru

Hi everybody!

So, over the course of the next few postings I’m going to try and bring back the lost art of cooking.
I haven’t noticed a lot of females hanging around and I’m going to try to correct that.

With my penis!

No actually with my favorite and primary secret culinary condiment recipe that can be used in any situation!

It can save lives!

It has gotten me laid on more than one occasion!

Welcome to my cooking for people who really need to know how to cook whatever.

Chili Tepin.

This chili is pronounced chee-lay
not chill-ee

(2) 8 oz. cans of tomato sauce, Contadina if you can find it. Store bought if not, just don’t use Heinz.

1/2 tsp kosher salt.
3 cloves of fresh garlic – chopped – it doesn’t have to be minced.
1/8 oz to 1/4 oz of dried chili tepin.

This is my first post using the new site so I’ll try to grab an image or two and if it works, cool.
If not suggestions are helpful. But chili tepin are small red dried chili pods, they look like a dried pea. I can find them at my local whole foods or Super Mercado but I have a distinct geographic advantage that not all of you have. They grow in the Southwest, mostly Texas through Northern Mexico.

Try Amazon.

Anyway, take all of the ingredients and place them in a blender and grind for about 30-40 seconds.
Remember, we’re not making salsa or pico, we are making chili, it should have a smooth consistency.
Place in a container that is sure to be stained orange from here until the end of it’s useful life and place in the refrigerator.

I have to mention here that many people have said this is hot. Very hot.
I eat this with chips and use it as salsa.
I would brush my teeth with it!

Not really.

But add it to anything.
Eggs, nachos, marinara, as a garnish.

Get some chicken, get some cheese, get a flour tortilla and this sauce.
Warm your tortilla, chop your favorite chicken, add cheese and about 1-2 tbl of our sauce.
Grab a napkin and wait for the applause.

I would never give this recipe to someone I didn’t trust with it.

{edited on 6-11-15 for portion correction}

laserguru
laserguru
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn't plate.
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Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Season Finale – WINGS! – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Food Science: Building the Better Burrito, Pt. 1 – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Food Ideas for Superb Owl Lee: I Hope You Wore Your Chili Pants. – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]lasergurufmwarner Recent comment authors
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[…] original hot sauce. That’s it. I did fuck around with my sauce by adding a bigass scoop of my chili tepin to the butter and Frank’s mix just to level up the heat. I’ve also put a couple of […]

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[…] This shit look familiar? […]

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[…] readers will no doubt know of my passion for a good chili. Hell, my very first Sunday Gravy was a chili tepin recipe that I still consume on a near daily basis. I’ve linked to that one many times in the past […]

WhyEaglesWhy

Oh, I miss California access to chiles. There’s actually a Mexican foods store in my city run by a guy from Dallas, but I’m not sure he has chili tepin. I’ll have to check it out.

I bet this is good with Ro-Tel diced tomatoes that have the green chile in them. Ever tried that?

Old School Zero

When you say cans, are you talking 16 oz? I definitely want to give this a shot.

ballsofsteelandfury

So you’re saying this recipe will get you chi-laid?

/shows self out

pickettschargeksk

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE

ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome! I’m looking forward to more recipes!

One question: How much will my asshole burn in the morning? Keep in mind that I’m Mexican, but not THAT Mexican.

monty this seems strange to me

Insert Moose (The Thread Ender) quip and gif here