Welcome Door Flies Open completists, relatives of Indianapolis Colts players, and possibly a Colts fan or two. In this preview, I will share with you the best inside Colts information that an hour of Googling can dig up. However, before we begin the preview proper, let's look at some of
A deadly, destructive beam
Being an international disgrace
A good sized vessel to marinate your meat in
Upper class twits
Silly DC Russians
Notoriously poor bookkeepers
Cookies in your gravy
The collapse of the NFL
More badass and German
Dick measuring contests
Repeat past mistakes
A coup so to speak
Just because Vegas
Cybernetic right hand
Gender & religious discrimination
Genial shark-toothed smiles
Once in a great while, we sad sacks, we perpetually and correctly pessimistic schlubs, we grown-ass adults who overpay for garish shirts with zoo animals on them...once in a great while we see a glimmer of hope that tells us it might all be worth it.
That's what it's been like
Welcome to DFO's preview of the 2016 Philadelphia Eagles, which should be as long, frustrating, and hackneyed as the team's season itself. With that kind of experience awaiting us, perhaps it's best we just get started and get this done with a minimum of fuss.
The 2016 Eagles were assembled by
My Pitiful Human Experience
The Familial History of Schizophrenia
Your Absent Stepfather
Lost To Iceland
This Wonder Site of Dreams and Wishes
Roving Packs of Ham Beasts
The Dark Blood Ritual of Penance
God's Ongoing Quest To Drive Me Insane
The Last Time We Had To Suffer
Tormenting My Dreams With His Insipid Chant
The Most Existing Thing
When I got the idea to do a post about smoking, I asked yeah right if it was cool with him; I didn't want to invade his territory. Righteous guy that he is, not only did he say it was fine with him, but he invited me to take over Sunday
I Should Have Listened To My Mother And Gone Into Carpentry
Toys, Sports Equipment, Assorted Trash, And Other Shit
The Swept-Up Dregs of the Knoxville Grammar Rodeo
The History Of The Vancouver Canucks Is Marked By A Tragic Inability To Judge Talent
Before I Begin, I Just Wanted To Complain About How Hot It
I wanted to write something about Prince's recent death, and I also wanted to revive my "Selection Of..." posts. So why not do both, way too long after the moment has passed?
To wit, A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Prince Lyrics:
...free to generate international heat...
Today I bring you an open thread from the future, where it is already Friday the 13th in DFO's Adelaide bureau, but only the waning hours of the 12th in our Wichita headquarters. I can report that nothing unlucky has happened yet, but based on my understanding of theoretical physics, there's
It's been quite a while since I posted, and I was looking for a way to jump back in. DFO's burgeoning interest in football from the land down under has prompted me to write about my trip to the footy grounds for the Port Adelaide Power's Easter Sunday clash with
An unavoidable part of every critic’s job is sitting through the bad as well as the good. It is simply a hazard of the profession. However, enduring “Christmastime Is Here” as staged by Miss Othmar’s class at St. Paul Elementary School is a sacrifice not to be asked of anyone.
A few years ago, on Halloween night, a lovely young lady consented to accompany me on a date.
HEY, COME BACK, THAT'S NOT THE SCARY PART!
After a romantic dinner at Sizzler, we drove to Lovers’ Lane so I could work off that five slices of cheese toast. It was at a