Only two games on a Sunday. Is this the conference championships? Speaking of which, they are only [counts on fingers] like, 13 weeks away. Using extraordinary foresight, I put some beer in the fridge in case (hah!) I feel like having some later. This strategy enables you to  pour a cool alcoholic beverage down your gullet and into your belly soon after your brain tells you that you should. Try it-it works.

Hou at N.O.: The Texans were 9-7 last year? That sort of thing escapes you when you don’t give a rat’s butt about them. Actually, I’m sure that their most ardent fan thinks they went 6-10. No Aryan jokes this year. Yay! Oops, back that up, he’s scheduled to be back by wk. 4.(?) He’s making spectacular progress every day according to his mother. Hoyer won out over Mallett in the qb battle that nary a soul cared about. Maybe the whole thing took place in a vacuum. I don’t have much faith in Blue to carry the load as an rb1 so I’ll be giving Polk a looky-loo this afternoon.

Care to guess which team was dead last against the run last year? It was the Saints. Also, they are one of only 2 teams to not have a sack so far this pre-season. Looks like Brees will be coming from behind quite a bit this year. [giggles to self, moves Brandin Cooks up 3 spots in non-existent fantasy ratings] In an O like this a third wr gets a lot of targets so keep an eye on one Brandon Coleman. This may be simply a coincidence but I heard that Marques Colston was considering changing his name to “Branden”. The Saints have 8-8 written all over them. As a matter of fact “8-8” is the sign that the players slap on the way out of the locker room. (I stole that from someone, can’t remember who) Be prepared to hear EVEN MORE about Katrina, it is her anniversary after all.

Ari at Oak: Palmer is in for a cup of coffee for this game. Props to Honey Badger for doing that thing in a hot car to illustrate how awful it is for pets (and small children!) in the summer. I believe I shall now refer to him as Anti Vick. It’s better than Uncle Cares A Lot. This D should come cheap for those in the fantasy realm but they can knock people backwards. Everyone at camp is very high on 3rd round rb David Johnson. He’s a 6’3″ 225 pound force of nature out of Northern Iowa. Then again SB Nation has his age listed as 115 so perhaps I shouldn’t believe everything I read. I also saw a post, “The Necessity of the 3rd Quarterback” and snorted out loud. That writer’s got his shit together. John Brown’s body broke down last year but he’s vowed to stop eating junk food. Fight Food Inc., John!

It’s all about Latavius for the first half. He’s been yakking about being ‘a complete back’ and with Carr still progressing, quality play from the rb spot will go a long way towards determining just how far under .500 the Raiders (not pronounced the way Berman does it. Ah! You thought of it, didn’t you?) will be this year. If you were on the run from the law and wanted to simply disappear I’d suggest being a Raiders defender. Rook te Clive Walford is being talked about as a red zone target as though the team didn’t draft Amari Cooper at all. Second year safety Jonathan Dowling was waived for “maturity reasons”. Just goes to show you, DO NOT stick your tongue out at coach Jack Del Rio under any circumstances whatsoever!