Balls’ Bedtime Stories – Chapter Eleven

PART TWO – COINCIDENCE

PART THREE – ENEMY ACTION

Chapter Eleven

‘And what is your cut?’ whistled Mr. Richardson.

‘Twenty billion’, replied Goodell.

‘Within a week you say?’, Mr. Jones asked. ‘Color me intrigued.’  Richardson let out an audible snort.  Jones continued, ‘I wouldn’t trust you to wipe your own ass correctly, but the promise of ten billion within a week is something worth listening to.  Ok, you Ginger dipshit.  Whaddaya got?’

‘It’s quite simple really. With the help of some…friends…I have acquired a highly concentrated opiate devised by the German chemical warfare experts.  This substance disseminates rapidly through a volume of water and, in this highly diluted form, has the effect of instant but temporary narcosis of any person drinking it.  The symptoms are  deep and instant sleep from which the victim awakens much refreshed in approximately three days.’

‘Don’t we leave the raping to the players?’, said Kraft.

Jones quickly replied, ‘Your statutory shit counts too, Krafty!’

‘Oh, fuck off both of you and let the dipshit speak. I’m curious to see where he is going with this.’ boomed the voice of Ford.

Goodell continued, ‘Now, what we will do with it is, of course, highly secret.  You were all specially selected for this project.  If anyone, however, is hesitant to take part, now would be the time to speak.  Any talk of this chemical can be dismissed as the ravings of a lunatic and cannot be substantiated as it is not known to exist.  The rest, though, cannot be as easily dismissed.’

Rooney was the first to speak.  ‘Can this be traced back to us?  Will we be able to keep our hands clean?’

‘Yeah!’, added Mara.

‘Of course this will not be traced back to us,’ came the impatient reply. ‘I am fully aware of the need to maintain secrecy and the integrity of the Shield.  Any other questions?’

Richardson spoke. ‘Are we killing blacks?’

‘Never change, Jerry.  Never change.’

‘Um, no Mr. Richardson, we are not killing any blacks.’ came Goodell’s reply.  He used the voice of someone who had said the same thing many many times to the same person.

‘Well fucking count me out then.  I’ve got enough money, I’m old, and I’m not sure if my heart can take something of this nature.  Ladies!  Gentleman.’  Richardson rose out of his chair.

‘Understandable Mr. Richardson.  We certainly do not want to risk your health.  PK here will walk you down to the lower level and drive you back to your hotel.  Thank you so much for joining us today.’

‘Well, good luck to y’all with whatever this is.’  Richardson disappeared from Balls’ view with PK walking behind him holding what looked to be a Starbucks frappucino bottle in his hand.

‘Anyone else?’

No one spoke.

‘Alright then.  Let’s get down to the details.  What do you all know about FIFA and the World Cup?’

‘They make a shitload of money, YEEHAW!’ The only Jerry left in the room perked up.

Stoney Ford added, ‘We were trying to get into the sponsorship business with them, but it could never work out.  Too rich for our blood.’

‘What if I were to say to you that we could destroy soccer as a sport, destroy FIFA, and take over the riches of international sport in one fell swoop?’

The owners in the room looked at him quizzically.  They didn’t know if he had lost his faculties, but their curiosity and greed allowed them the possibility of believing any plan concocted by him could work.

Kraft spoke in an even voice, ‘Roger, now let’s not be dramatic.  What exactly do we intend to do and how is that going to result in getting ten billion dollars each?’

Jones piped up, ‘Hey, that racist shithead Richardson is out of this.  That makes it 12 billion!’

‘Everyone!  Please! Let me continue.’ Goodell’s voice was exasperated.  He took a deep breath and continued. ‘The FIFA executive council is meeting on Wednesday with members of the Russian Soccer Federation at the headquarters of Credit Suisse in Zurich.  An exchange of funds will take place that is of minor import to the NFL, but vital to the success of the plan.  The Russians will hand over some sums of money as delayed payment for the granting of the World Cup to be held in Russia in 2022.  As this matter requires utmost secrecy, the meeting will be held after-hours in a special vault that Sepp Blatter has access to.  No one from Credit Suisse will be present and the usual security precautions will be suspended for an hour as per Sepp’s instructions to Credit Suisse.’

‘Remind me again why we give a shit about the fucking Russians and their payoff to FIFA,’ growled Mara.  He was getting impatient.

‘Blatter always celebrates the conclusion of a deal with a toast.  We will place the substance in the ice which will be provided for the meeting and used in the drinks with which they will perform the toast.  Upon drinking, everyone in the room will fall asleep.  We will then be able to enter without notice.’

‘But why are we going to all that trouble for Russian money?  Besides, I doubt that they will be carrying 80 billion dollars on them or that their supposed bribe is worth that much!’  Dan Rooney was getting red with frustration.

‘No no no!  It is not the Russian money we want!  It is what is contained in the Credit Suisse vault that we want!  Credit Suisse handles over 900 billion dollars of assets through its major subsidiaries.  It does not completely trust modern technology quite yet, so not all of its assets are electronically accessible.  Large amounts of cash are…difficult to manage, so the company also keeps other things of value in its vaults.  At its headquarters, in the secret vault, is approximately $100 billion’s worth of diamonds which have been hidden from the world in order to keep the price high.  You will take about 480 pounds each and leave the rest on the table.’

‘Ho-ly-sheeeit!  And I though you were a dumb sonofabitch!’  Jones was impressed.  Goodell had done his homework.

‘You will need a few strapping dumb young men with bad memories to carry them, of course, but that shouldn’t be hard to find, right?’ A gleeful smile emerged from Goodell’s face. ‘Once the security is again enabled, all hell will break loose and the blame will go to the Russians and FIFA. FIFA will be broken and the Russians heavily embarrassed to say the least.  Putin may make some arrangement with Credit Suisse to keep things quiet, but FIFA does not have the luxury of such protection or deep pockets.  The NFL will step into the void and the Super Bowl will become the greatest event in the planet and I its greatest Commissioner!’

The eyes of the owners were ablaze now.  The unrepentant greed flowed through their veins like heroin and they were hooked on the plan.

Ford spoke first, ‘When do we start?’

to be continued…

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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King Hippo

the plot just thickens and thickens….

nomonkeyfun

Balls knows how to use a roux or a roue.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh