This is how I picture Donald Trump surveying the Republican field this afternoon:

Lots of people have already made the Cruz-aborting-his-campaign joke, so why repeat it here? I want to beat other stuff to death. Like, for example, who will he pick as his VP nominee? I’m assuming they have already told him it can’t be his son. I don’t think he’d pick a female running mate, given all the negative press he’s gotten related to women during the primaries; plus, it would look like pandering. Right now, given all the people who initially lined up against him, the crowd seems relatively small. Potential choices could be:

John Kasich

Former Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels

Marco Rubio

Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates

Or New Jersey Governor Chris Christie