Ah Saturday night!  John Travolta had a fever for it, because that was the night he could go out, shake his ass to Donna Summer and not have to worry about going to work at that stupid paint store the next day.  Also no one questioned his sexuality for focusing hours of attention on his hair, refusing to bang girls who threw themselves at him and wearing the kind of outfits that Vincent Vega wouldn’t have been caught dead coming out of bathroom in.  The good old days for John, before ‘Battleship Earth’.

Yep, Saturday’s the night to go out and howl at the moon, unless you’re Wofman Rob, in which case you’ve long forgotten what day it is, where you are, whether or not you have a middle name and how that dead hooker wound up in the back of the Prius.  For that matter, how did you get a Prius anyway?  If you’re Wolfman Rob you’re going to howl at the moon 24/7/365 and you’ll have no idea what any of those numbers means.

Not us though. Saturday we go OUT.  We play cards, we go to concerts, we eat at fine restaurants and worry about what fork to use, and then we go to craft breweries and make fun of Bud drinkers while paying $6.25 for a pint of Cherry Wheat Schlitzengruuber which tastes like ass but we’ll still smack our lips, spin our monocole and pronounce delicious, then never order again.

Unless you’re me, tonight.  In which case you’ve been left at home for the weekend while your wife attends a Billy Joel concert in NYC and then has to leave for Pennsylvania for her grandmother’s funeral service, which is timely considering she’s been dead the better part of four months but that’s another story and now you have two kids to monitor and a puppy that has a serious anxiety thing going on because I CAN’T FIND ONE OF MY HUMANS AND OHMYGOD WHERE DID SHE GO I LOST HER IT’S ALL MY FAULT AND THEY’RE GONNA SEND ME BACK TO THE WOODS AND hey is that the cat?

Nope, in that case you’ll be sitting on your ass, drinking beer and watching sports on TV while wondering what all the cool people do.  And then you’ll log in to DFO and find out because all the cool cats hang out here!  Join us won’t you?

Your sporting options for the evening, somewhat limited as lots of good stuff was already on TV:

The NBA play-offs start!  I don’t give two shits about the NBA but:

Boston-Atlanta @ 7:00 pm

Dallas-Oklahoma City @ 9:30 pm

The NHL play-offs continue!  Aw yeah, that’s the good stuff right there:

Flyers-Capitals @ 7:00 pm

Wild-Stars @ 8:00 pm

Sharks-Kings @10:30 pm

UFC Fight Night!  (seriously?)

I think it’s on one of the Fox channels.  Glover Teixiera fights Rashad Evans at probably around 10:00 pm EST or later, in a fight that would have been significant three years ago.  Otherwise chiefly notable for Manvel Gamburyan, who I once saw dislocate the fuck out of his shoulder while trying to take someone down.

Major League Baseball!  (dodges rotten fruit)

There’s a whole bunch of games but it looks like they’re all limited to local broadcasts so look it up yourself.  The Yanks already lost and look like they’d have trouble scoring in a Thai whorehouse so I’m not terribly optimistic about where this season’s going.

To the comments and the liquor cabinet!  Not necessarily in that order.