INT. DARKENED MOVIE THEATER – NIGHT

A set of three forms sit in front of a darkened movie screen.  Two – TOM SERVO and CROW T. ROBOT – are mechanical, while the third – JOEL HODGSON – is human.  The screen lights up as a set of opening titles flash across the screen, followed by a set of shots of a glowing light racing across a southwestern landscape.

TOM SERVO: I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque!

The air begins to shimmer, and a pair of robots materialize in the seats next to TOM SERVO, JOEL, and CROW.

JOEL: Oh, hey guys, you made it!

RQBOCOP: Yeah, we…wait, where are we now?

BRONCO: [recognizing his surroundings] Oh boy!  This is going to be a treat.  What are we watching?

CROW: The Wraith.  From 1986.  Starring Charlie Sheen!

TOM SERVO: Who would have thought that someone who delivered such a convincing portrayal of a Wall Street executive would have his acting career derailed by his obsession with cocaine and hookers?

BRONCO: Pepto-Bismol?

TOM SERVO: Mortadella!

CROW: Not my Bubblicious!

RQBOCOP: Is he referring to the woman’s vagina?

BRONCO: Dude!  Come on, man!  Be cool.

CROW: Yeah, bro.

TOM SERVO: Seriously, pal.

RQBOCOP: It is a criminal offense to make threats of that nature.

BRONCO: It’s just a movie.  Don’t get so dark.

TOM SERVO: I’m the director of this movie, and I tell you it will be more frightening if the ghost looks like Robocop.

JOEL: Yeah, well I’m the producer, and I say Robocop is too expensive!

TOM SERVO: Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent!

RQBOCOP: I am not Mexican, nor was I contacted by my representation about appearing in this film…

BRONCO: Goddamnit, RQBOCOP, be funny, or SHUT UP!

CROW: There’s nose gold in them thar hills!

RQBOCOP: That is not proper police procedure for engaging with potential informants.

BRONCO: Shut UP!

JOEL: Is he drinking hydraulic fluid?

TOM SERVO: [shakes his head sadly] Prohibition really hit this town hard.

CROW: Soon enough he’ll be moving onto the hard stuff, like motor oil.

BRONCO: It’s a slippery slope.

CROW: A yellow and black supercharged Pontiac Firebird?

TOM SERVO: Woo! Todd Haley!

BRONCO: Woo!

JOEL: Todd Haley!

ALL: Woo!  Todd Haley!

CROW: Todd Haley…loses the Super Bowl?

CROW: [to the tune of the police station scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off] ♫…Jake…♫

TOM SERVO: [counterpart] ♫…Jamie…♫

JOEL: Well this is MUCH better!

CROW: To be honest, the original Jamie had terrible halitosis.

All of a sudden, RQBOCOP and BRONCO begin to dematerialize…

JOEL: Later, guys!  Thanks for stopping by!

BRONCO: No!  I was having fun…

…and disappear.