Better Know a Mythical Woodland Creature: Romonculus

As we delve deeper and deeper into the postseason, we’re also going to be delving deeper and deeper into DFO’s mythological pantheon.  This week, we’ll be taking a look at one of the most ephemeral creatures to make occasional appearances on the gridiron, the Romonculus.  

Species Name: Romo Sapiens

Individual Names: Leon Lettucewin, Fumblesnapskin, others.

From: Thin air, and back again into thin air.

Descended from/Spawned by: Unknown, though legend suggests the trickster god DOINK was involved in their genesis.

Original habitat: Cabo San Lucas

Lifespan: Typically less than one second.

Height: 12 inches

Weight: Just enough to affect the flight of a football, never more.

Position: Provider of Cowboys schadenfreude.

Primary Ability: Pushing balls off course by a slight amount.

Secondary Ability: Ability to possess and control rare types of individuals and guide their actions.

Why are they in the news: Did you notice that Mason Crosby’s kick against the Cowboys two weeks seemed to change direction slightly?  That was a Romonculus at work.

Likes: Field goal snaps, long passes, incomprehensible rules defining legal catches.

Dislikes: Cowboys victories.

Preferred Method of Worship: Screaming “WWWWWWAAAAAH-EEEEEY”

What scouts are saying: 

• Force multiplier: small actions yield big results.
• Impressive change-of-direction skills.
• Breath of fresh air.

Immediate impact: Sadness for Cowboys fans, mirth and amusement for everyone else.

Down the road: Continued degeneration of Jerry Jones’ sanity (aided by Syphillisis, goddess of sexually transmitted football diseases).