Your “Oscars Eve Razzie Night” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Bienvenido a la noche del sábado, Commentistas.

If you are on the verge of either going out, or **shudder** talking to relatives, the Razzies ceremony is this evening, possibly even on their YouTube channel.

The winners were announced earlier today. Find them on a regular entertainment site, as their homepage looks like it was first developed on a GeoCities site & ported over exactly. I will link to the channel above but not embed it, because their videos run on autoplay.

Sandra Bullock was the last big-name actor to show up in-person to collect, for All About Steve, doing so the night before she won for The Blind Side.

On that topic, Cracked had a very good article about “4 Reasons The Razzies Suck (And Should Be Abolished Forever)“. They’ve always been a good read, and I especially enjoy their history articles because I can use some of them with students; they seem to enjoy the snark, and get some of the references. This one seems pretty on-point.

No big adventures for me tonight. The big incident from delivering Greek food last Saturday was my first order of the evening. It was $85 in food to a house that I quickly discovered was hosting a bachelorette party. So, basically, a few girls in their early-30s drinking chardonnay. Sadly, or fortunately, they were not expecting “sexy middle-aged delivery man”, but I gave them a quick 5-second “white man’s overbite”, faked blowing a hip, and assured them that the “cop” they were expecting to come check their IDs would be there shortly. (In retrospect, I should have said, “firemen to come handle this hotness with their hoses”, but I was representing a friend’s restaurant and not my own Netflix special.)

Squeals ensued; retreat was hasty.

Oscars & “Walking Dead” tomorrow; you’ll be hard-pressed to figure out which smells their farts more.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Habs at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC
  • Flyers at Penguins – 8:00PM | NBC / Sportsnet – outdoors at Heinz Field
  • Sharks at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC

• NBA:
  • Bulls at Cavaliers – 8:30PM | ABC / TSN2

• NCAA:
  • Alabama at Texas A&M – 8:00PM | ESPN2
  • UCLA at Arizona – 8:15PM | ESPN
  • BYU at Gonzaga – 10:00PM | ESPN2

• Fútbol Mexicano:
  • Tigres vs. Monarcas – 8:00PM | Univision
  • América vs. Cruz Azul – 10:00PM | Univision

Be careful tonight,

SAVE YOURSELVES FROM THE JACKALS OF THE STREET!