Here we go, kids! Ready to take your sloth to a whole ‘nother level?? All times EST because Hippo.
#12W Princeton v. #5W Notre Dame (12:15, CBS)
Ivy tourney (yes, they finally gave in and held one) champ and the ACC runner-up. This game will feature all the 3s, and one presumes lots and lots of weaving. Perhaps there will be an exchange of wicker baskets at the end.
#12E UNC-Wilmington v. #5E Virginia (12:40, truTV)
Yep, you still have to find this shitty channel for a few MOAR days yet. The Sea Birds are an overhyped sleeper team that plays very poor defense, and Tony Bennett (despite having perhaps the shakiest side of his tenure, at least since he’s been established) should be able to exploit that mercilessly. Slave Fucker U to the Round of 32.
#13S Winthrop v. #4S Butler (1:30, TNT)
Oh snap, now we get to our first for reals upset candidate. Winthrop took awhile to get they sea legs back after Head Asshole Gregg Marshall departed for Scary Wheat, but back they are indeed. Butler is a solid team that has shown giant-killing ability (Villanova redux) but they won’t overwhelm Winthrop with talent the way a Kentucky would. One to watch for sure, two very good (if less-hyped) coaches.
#16W South Dakota State v. #1W Gonzaga (2:00, TBS)
I am always sad (as a Son of the South) that this no long stands for “The Braves’ Station” unofficial-like. And as much as I want to see the 16 over 1 upset…I don’t see it. Zags are too big for the bunnies. But they always make me think of this cool song:
#13W Bucknell v. #4W West By God Virginia (2:45, CBS)
I know the square root of fuckall re the Bison, but I have watched the King of Track Suits’ side many times. They are capable of absolutely anything at any point in time. Wild card, bitches!! Hope WCS has ample pills and bourbon handy.
#13E East Tennessee State v. #4E Florida (3:10, truTV)
What I said above also applies to this fixture, except my watching a bunch of Gators’ games. But as I noted in the regional preview, they are the girl with the golden curl. In the dance, they are either very, very good…or very, very bad. The Mocs are just there for the scenery.
#12S Middle Tennessee State v. #5S Minnesota (4:00, TNT)
In a bit of a Freudian slip, I kept trying to pit in the Gophers as the 12. Serious, I have MTSU winning in every bracket I submitted. At least I think so. Perhaps it’s just Pitino Jr’s dopey fucking face, or how shitty the B1G is, or the fact that the Blue Raiders seem fairly athletic…maybe all of the above??
#9W Vanderbilt v. #8W Northwestern (4:30, TBS)
The Commodores (and their rapey-as-fuck mascot) got here on the strength of a tough schedule and being Florida kryptonite. Chris Collins has guided the Wildcats to their first bid EVAR, so he will need to keep his charges from the “happy just to be here” feels. Winner gets to beat the piss out of Gonzaga, so there is ample motivation here.