Your “Scoring Is Down But Celebrations Are Up!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Cortez Kennedy died today, age 48. No cause of death was announced.
    • I just remember him eating people up during the 90s, when blackout rules meant Seahawks or nothing on Sundays.
    • He is one of 9 Seahawks in the Hall of Fame, although that number also counts famous Seahawks like Jerry Rice & Franco Harris. He is one of four Hall members who played the majority of their career with the Seahawks.
  • Speaking of the Hall of Fame, the “Concert for Legends” lineup, brought to you by Ford, has been announced.
    • It appears the Hall has decided to go full-#MAGA.
    • In case you can’t restrain yourself, all price-points are still available!
      • Ticket prices: $45, $60, $80, $99, $130, $180, and $230.
      • Premium and Club Access seats are available for $100 and $185, respectively.
    • In its third year, the Concert for Legends series previously featured Aerosmith in 2015 and Tim McGraw in 2016.
  • The weather delays plaguing Stan Kroenke’s construction schedule have cost him Super Bowl 55, which will now move to Tampa.
    • NO WAIVER FOR YOU! It shows real faith in the LA ability to get things up & running on time.
    • LA will instead get Super Bowl 56, which was supposed to be Tampa’s.
    • No word on what Greek squatter Dean Spanos will do in the interim.
  • Cowboys DL David Irving will miss the first four games for a PED violation.
    • The issue stems from a supplement Irving had a marketing deal with.
  • The Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook has released odds for all 32 teams to win their respective divisions for the coming season.
    • In case you’re wondering:
      • Best odds: Patriots: 1/14
      • Worst odds: Browns: 80/1
      • Long shot with a shot: the NFC East & AFC South
        • both divisions are essentially “pick ’ems”
    • Among the attractions to the non-smoking Westgate, the Superbook encompasses 30,000 square feet and offers more than 300 seats, and has the largest indoor LED video wall in the world, measuring at 220 feet long and 20 feet high,

Finally, rule changes!

  • Overtime is now 10 minutes.
  • Teams will be allowed to bring a second player back from IR.
  • The initial cutdown from 90- to 75-man rosters prior to the last pre-season game has been eliminated.
    • Teams will now go from 90- to 53-man rosters after the last pre-season game.
      • Making the last pre-season game a sure-fire donation to charity for any season-ticket holder.
  • Celebration rules have been relaxed.
    • Group celebrations & snow angels” will be allowed.
    • Offensive demonstrations & violent acts will still be penalized.
      • So, no throat slashes of full-McCringleberry’s


Roger Moore died today. He was 89.

He was the James Bond of my youth. I grew up on his Bond films, which were always a family viewing occasion around the Beerguy household. My old man would bitch that he wasn’t Connery; my mom would wistfully agree he was no Connery.

I loved his films because they put as much emphasis on the travelogue aspect of the movies as the double-entendres.

And his stunt work was proof of his preference for verbal rather than physical prowess.

    

Of course, I also found his conquests to be similar to my prurient interests.

       

So, in honour of him, I shall have martinis at dinner.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Game 6: Penguins at Senators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
      • Pens up 3-2.
  • NBA:
    • Game 4: Celtics at Cavaliers – 8:30PM | TNT / TSN3
      • Cavs up 2-1.
  • MLB:
    • Giants at Cubs – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Blue Jays at Brewers – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Cardinals at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • It’s the Jinder Mahal era now,

  

ALL HAIL THE (Canadian) MAHARAJAH!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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I really need to make Taco Tuesday a thing. And to start I should find a way to afford tacos.

That said, I’ve been up all night, ate a bunch of shitty food I shouldn’t have, and may pass out for a bit now that it’s dawn.
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Unsurprised
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Reunited

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s fucking funny.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Time for donuts.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
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Good night.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me that Pain & Gain starts with Marky Mark getting hit by a speeding cop car?