INT. DINGY BASEMENT – DAY
MARC TRESTMAN’S WINDOWLESS VAN sits in an overstuffed lounge chair, napping gently.
MARC TRESTMAN’S WINDOWLESS VAN: [sits up with a start] Oh shit! I forgot! Request Line is on!
He takes out a radio set and fiddles with the dials, joining the radio show in progress.
NFL GENERAL COUNSEL JEFF PASH: …and so as the old adage goes, “imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.” And since the owners had no interest in actually standing up to the administration, we decided that’s the route we would take.
PRODUCER: So let me get this straight and put it in plain English for our listeners. Roger Goodell…
JEFF PASH: [interrupts] The Commissioner.
PRODUCER: …ahem, the commissioner is going to have his own pardon power?
JEFF PASH: You know how we lawyers feel about plain English, but yes, that’s the gist of it.
PRODUCER: But doesn’t the collective bargaining agreement make the commissioner…
JEFF PASH: Capitalize that, please.
PRODUCER: [blinks a few times, continues]…The Commissioner into the sole arbiter of discipline, as well as give him control of the appeals process?
JEFF PASH: Yes, that’s right.
PRODUCER: So…isn’t the “pardon power” as you describe it already inherent in the process?
JEFF PASH: No, because what we’re talking about happens after the disciplinary and appeals processes have completed. If a player expresses sufficient regret for their actions, The Commissioner may choose to grant them clemency.
PRODUCER: So basically if a player who has been disciplined by the league does a sufficient job of groveling…[rolls eyes]…The Commissioner may choose to grant them a reprieve?
JEFF PASH: Again, that’s not the language we’d use to describe the process, but I think the basic idea is coming across here. Perhaps it might be fitting with the nature of the program to play some music that illustrates that.
PRODUCER: We’re talking songs about apologies and expressing regret?
JEFF PASH: Exactly. I’ll get us started with one from Belle and Sebastian, as a reminder to young players who are thinking about disrupting the pre-game rituals – strike that – ceremonies with ill-advised protest actions.
Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “expressing regret”. In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuQ_g00d3LL”. When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. If your link doesn’t pick up, an admin will try to help out.