BC Dick Tuesday

Government. Am I right?

I recently attempted to mail a standard, domestic mail package to a common acquaintance. The result was a two week wait to find out that the parcel was not able to be delivered and was therefore returned to me through a small metal flap next to my front door. A failure on all fronts but one on which I believe I stand exonerated of responsibility or guilt of any kind.

You cannot tell me that the 1.5 billion dollars (or more, surely) per year the Canadian people – not the government, it is not their money – bestows upon the CBC (which they use to undercut private news organizations in the advertising market) would not be better served on getting my goddamn packages where they goddamn need to be without all this goddamned rigmarole about weights and measures and stamping of bird pictures with piddling values in turn stamped upon them.

Granted, I did leave out the building number but the scribblings applied to the package in question at least hint at an attempt to determine said number. Are these blue khaki-shorted waterheads not aware of internet search engines? Through which they could determine where my brother in “law” could be easily located by his prolific postings of greasy coitus parties listing his full name and address? Is this beyond the “scope” of their duties? Hogwash.

Regardless of institutional ineptitude I have sent the unit again. Utilizing the oh-so-convenient flat rate bubble mailer those drooling pocket-riflers have provided to fleece me yet again. Or at least I was going to, if that pink-bellied crowd in Ottawa deigned to consider that an important thing to ensure all Canadians may access. No, they would prefer we spend 90 minutes a day watching the same two commercials from the same two stores about the same bleeding coffee and lawn rakes over and over again until our eyes bleed.

What a lark to be able to abuse my original postage thus rendering it unusable and then have the good fortune of selling me yet more to complete the process a second time. No one ever said the government was a laggard when it comes to drawing cash from the common man.

To summarize: governments are ruthless back alley thieves with the conscience of a syphilitic badger but if I must have my pockets turned out and shaken in the gutter I should at least be able to send sacks of poorly labelled commodities through the mail.

And if said mailed article fails to reach its destination yet again, through no fault of my own and instead totally and utterly through the now-commonplace ineptitude of a government-run institution, I will have but one option remaining to right this wrong:

I’d take a swing at one of those rampage deals but do you know how hard it is to get UPS to send restricted weapons across the border?

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BC Dick
An aspiring nihilist who lives in British Columbia and feels nothing while watching the Seahawks, Blue Jays, Lions, Canucks, and several local minor league teams.
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Unsurprised

Episode 4 of Westworld may be the best spoof of contemporary action movies ever

Unsurprised

Or 5. I’ve lost track.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Tonight on OW! MY BALLS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s important to teach the kids a trade…… like cooking meth.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope Jonny Q and company are actually working on a COVID vaccine!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But that would ruin the “joke.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The adult version of Johnny Quest in Venture Bros. was magnificent.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes. The Brock Samson avatar disappeared somewhere.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Elway NFL draft press conference was interesting.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So much like my fantasies it’s scary.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Home decorating in Canada….. from what I hear.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least you could eat like a regular human being laying down on the couch!!

Brick Meathook

I just agreed to let this website use cookies . . . for the ten thousandth time.

Dunstan

Consent is important.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just so you know; somebody waffled a pot brownie.

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Sharkbait

Was that someone Moose?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, I’m more of a smoker; I don’t like being too high for 48 hours.

*May need to adjust dosage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s to “explain”?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, we know the majority of the population is ignorant to the proper use of pants. I blame Big Textiles for the pants wearing propaganda push. The Plantagenets started this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MEAT ALERT! MEAT ALERT! I just checked the Vons upcoming flyer and they will have bone-in NY strip steaks, chicken legs/thighs/leg quarters, AND ground turkey on sale starting tomorrow. PLUS a fifteen pack of Golden Road fruit beers (perfectly adequate and pretty nice when it’s hot) for like $11. And if you wait until Friday to go you can get $5 back.

I am more excited about this than I have been about anything in a long time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I built this when I was kid back when the movie came out.comment image

Unsurprised

Pretzels!?!?

Someone got upgraded to Economy Plus

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also ice cream is on sale.

litre_cola

Ummm, YOU DIDNT HAVE MY ADDRESS RIGHT!!! Do you know how long the avenue I live on is? It spans over 100 blocks!?!?! I am now out of weed and one cannot subsist on wine and edibles alone especially with your nephew who is a toddler lunatic.

Gumbygirl

Plenty of numbers available to them. I just snort-laughed and scared my cat! Of all the Dicks in BC, you sir, are the Dickiest!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

CANADIAN GO TIME NOW!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In the US we just mail important stuff.

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is wonderful. Canadian rage knows no bounds…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sourry.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh heh heh. That was “show the Dr. Mrs.” worthy.