No EPL this morning, international break.  Here is your lukewarm tofu-based menu for today:

Steerfuckers South (-13.5) at Pig Sooey (Noon, ABC)

I can’t figure the Hawgs out, but here’s hoping they make a better showing today than I expect.

Team Secular Big Love (+11.5) at Colorado (Noon, Fox)

Utes keep coming up short, and I keep thinking they’ll eventually break out of it.  Good thing I haven’t been wagering.

Michigan State (+3) at Illinois (2:30, FS1)

When in doubt, I usually default to a mid-tier SEC game.  Those are few and far between this week, so here’s the B1G non-union equivalent.

Boston College (+19.5) at SMU (3:30, ESPN)

Scraping the bottom of the barrel, but SMU hasn’t been “the hunted” in what, 40 years or so?  Who fucking knows how they’ll react.  I’d still snicker quite a bit if they blitz through the sad sack conference that had to be bribed to let them in.

LSU (-4) at Florida Men (3:30, ABC)

Bad game, sure.  But LSU has very little to play for, will be emotionally low, and could fail in hilarious form.  Some days, that’s all one has to crack a smile about.  OK, most days.

Baylor (-2.5) at West By God Virginia (4:00, ESPN)

Big 12 = chaos, which sometimes = good teevee.  Not always, but maybe so today.