What have we got here? Ah, it’s the old ‘mirror game’ (8-2 vs 2-8) and it’s a divisional tilt so anything can happen. [snorts] C’mon, we know how this ends. At one point the Steelers were 3-2 and then a certain package of crushed monkey testicles from the Honduras ‘magically’ appeared and was ‘accidentally’ burned over a fire made of the doors of an abandoned insane asylum. Next thing you know the Steelers reel off five straight wins.
Minutaie:
-Piling On The Jets: Sauce Gardner threw his new coach under the bus, saying that tackling wasn’t an issue. Who badly missed a tackle last week? The same guy that hasn’t recorded an interception in 35 games. As a Jets starter, Rodgers winning percentage is lower than both Zach’s and Sam’s. Woody Johnson acknowledged that he considered benching Rodgers-if you can count on anything, it’s MAGA types throwing their kin under the bus.
-Useless Gabe Davis is done for the season after getting some meniscus surgery done. This does not affect the Jags outlook in any way whatsoever.
-NFL Security has sent out a ‘Burglary Alert” after the homes of Mahomes and Kelce were broken into. In related news, Nick Bosa’s velvet painting of Jesus kissing Trump’s feet is now under lock and key.
-The Seahawks facility is still without power due to yet another weather phenomenon being described in war terms. (Bomb Cyclone?) Not asked for comment by anyone, Pete Carroll opined, “This totally has the fingerprints of the ghost of Kenneth Lay all over it!”.
To The Game!
Steelers/Browns:
-Jameis Winston’s O/U for interceptions is .5. Put a mortgage on your house RIGHT NOW and get in on the over.
-Can Haz Blizzard?: Weather is calling for rain and gusty, busty winds (please feel free to post pics of busty weather patterns below) for this tilt. The O/U for the game is around 37. DRAIN YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND PUT IT ALL ON THE UNDER!
-Related To Above: The Steelers kicker Boswell was responsible for all of their points last week. It’s the second time this year that he’s accomplished that. It won’t be the last. Why? Because the Steelers are goddamn boring, that’s why.
-Winston has never played against the Steelers. I’ve the notion he’s going to be feeling crabby after the game and not in the usual way.
-I Laughed: Stefanski, who is feeling a bunch of pressure from the usual social media crowd, claims he’s not bothered. He cites the fact that he grew up listening to Philly sports radio as a reason that he’s inured against the relentless squawking.
Have at it.
