Hey.
Did you make the playoffs? Did you at least avoid relegation? If you answered “no” to either or both of these, I got nothing for you. Better luck next year, I guess.
**shrugs**
Well, let’s see what happened in the leagues this past week, shall we?
Freezer Vodka League Standings
So, who’s packing up and moving down to Lowratio League? Clearly, The Schlitzstains (1-13) and Unnatural Gas (3-11) will be getting bullied in the Lowratio League locker room. Going by standings it appears that Free Thursday Night Points and Big Bag of Suck came out on the losing end of the tiebreakers, both with 5-9 records and can start scheduling the moving trucks. Original Recipe White Claws also at 5-9, avoids relegation thanks to the capricious hand of math. Heinous Fuckery did just enough to steer clear of the Relegation Zone and can start planning for next year’s campaign in the upper league.
At the top of the standings we have Sofa Loren, We Are Spamily, Lowratio’s Couch Fetish, JD’s Chesterfield Dreams, and Stoma Fuckers Utd at 10-4 and preparing for playoff fitbaw. AJ Hawk Tua Tagovailoa (9-5), Musical War Propheteers (7-7) and Dead Hobos (7-7) round out the playoffs and still have an opportunity to claim the championship.
Lowratio League Standings
I present this laurel and hardy handshake to Duke’s Chicago Waffles and Gumbygirl’s Felonious Monks for securing promotion to Freezer Vodka League next season. Congratulations you two!
Lowratio League Playoff Matchups
That leaves two promotion spots up for grabs! Winners of the semifinal matches of Bearsenschiesse Barons v. Shiba is for the People! and War and Peace v. Rod Rust never sleeps will also be competing in the upper tier league next season. And there’s still the inaugural Lowratio League Championship up for grabs!
Errybody else? Start putting your big board together for next season’s draft.
Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses and Caso do vinho FC just missed the playoffs, both at 7-7 and get a bye for the Consolation Bracket. Ambigious Aaron Rodgers (6-8), Heather’s Horrible Hikes (5-9), Gimli’s Groin Grabbers (4-10) and Sebastian’s Swag Team (3-11) fill out the remaining spots in the aforementioned Consolation Bracket.
A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge and The Brick Experience, both at 3-11 are D.O.N.E. for the year and pack their tents and slip off into the abyss of the off-season. They’ll be back, though. It’s Mandatory*
*may not be mandatory in your jurisdiction. Consult with a doctor if allergic to any of the ingredients in Fantasy Football
Until Next Time!
