We have no Prem action (not that I’d watch the Gas Leak Season), but a metric fuckton of JV and full-on NFL.  I will cover some, scotchy will take the baton around 4p or whenever he finishes cleaning and storing his “tools.”

Stupid Red SAWX Bowl – U*NC (-2.5) v. UConn (11:00, ESPN)

Belicheat robs humanity of losing his kinda-sorta return to Massholia.  Avoid this game like the plague, and pray that the Fightin’ Horatios penetrate the Confederates with the biggest and Blackest dildos they can find.

Other AL East Bowl – Boston College (+4) v. Nebraska (Noon, ABC)

This is the Cornfuckers’ first bowl game this century, or close enough to it.  As choke-worthy as they are, an ACC opponent is unlikely to put up much of a fight (I type this as I watch Vandy push GT’s shit in).

Clippers du Merde (-4.5) at P*triots (1:00, NFLN)

Woof.  One suspects New England spent its load in WNY last weekend, but all the Clips’ running backs are ded and you KNOW how Lesser Harbs feels about the forward pass.  Better than the college slate, still.

Blue Meth Bowl – Louisiana (+10) v. TCU (2:15, ESPN)

Blood FOAR the Bloodeyes GOD!!!!  I don’t know why the Lafayettes are such big underdogs, was there a random December hurricane or sommet?

Stoner’s Breakfast Bowl – Iowa State (+4) v. Miami-FL (3:30, ABC)

Get ready to find out how very much Da U wants to Da Not Be Here.  YES, bet heavy on Cornpone State.  I want so badly to post ISU cheer pics here, but society knows what it done.

Here’s Fishbone to wrap up, though: