I spent last week in a terrible mood, basically treating most interactions with the defensiveness and misanthropy I have managed to contain solely to driving. Those help, for driving. A lot.
For all other interactions, I rather maintain critical distance. If that makes me appear standoffish and not worth talking to,
This is great during the NFL season, because there is no need to reckon with worldly affairs while your NFL team OR money-league FF team is still in playoff contention. That’s solid escapism between Weeks 1-11 at least. Or until Week 17, if you follow any NFL team on the South divisions.
NFL MEWS
-Crank up the Fall Out Boy: Derek Carr has a shoulder injury that—well, “Saints status iffy” is the actual headline in espen. Iffy.
Turning to Sports Illustrated: shoulder injury, 2025 season in jeopardy, per Ian Rappaport video. Nick Shook from the House Organ, same thing. What the hell happened to Carr?
Per NOLA’s Time Picayune: “Stunning Derek Carr Injury News Leaves More Questions Than Answers”, has a headline that promises fluff and speculation, aaand a paywall fuck you. From a TP freebie:
[Carr] suffered a shoulder injury that could threaten his status for 2025, a source with knowledge of the situation confirmed. The NFL Network first reported Friday that Carr is dealing with the ailment and is weighing his options, which reportedly include surgery.
The injury is a stunning development for the Saints and Carr. New Orleans was set to begin the first phase of its offseason workouts on Monday. The team also opted to simply restructure Carr’s contract last month, which effectively guaranteed he’d be on the roster after weeks of speculation about whether the two sides were headed for a divorce. Carr, too, reportedly was open to a change of scenery before the Saints settled on keeping him.
But what the hell happened to the shoulder?
The origin of Carr’s shoulder injury is not yet publicly known. A league source with knowledge of the situation said the injury is not related to the fall the 34-year-old took last year against the Giants.
Thank you, next to last paragraph. I like Carr and wish him a long career.
Saints fans: Oh yeah? Well have your team trade for him.
-As reported by Blax this weekend, CB Patrick Peterson had a 6-game PED suspension in 2019. Peterson also announced his retirement last Friday. Not being sour, just committed to the truf.
-Titans CB L’Jarius Sneed, who only played five games for TEN because of injury (which must’ve been why the Chefs dealt him in ’24—where was the due diligence fFS!?), but is still one of the highest paid cornerbacks in the league [inhales], was sued in civil court.
You: AND?
Jeez, lot of interruptions tonight. Getting annoyed! Per Associated Press:
A Texas man who says Titans cornerback L’Jarius Sneed or his personal assistant shot at him while he was sitting inside a Mercedes-Benz on a dealer lot in December is suing the two-time Super Bowl champ for at least $1 million. [Bold Underline supplied for your judgmental asses.]
Christian Nshimiyimana was sitting inside the Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon on Dec. 6 in Carrollton, Texas. Neither he nor anyone else was hit by bullets fired from a Lamborghini Urus driving past One Legacy Motors. Much of what happened is redacted in the police report obtained by The Associated Press.
I’m gonna assume the unredacted portions of the police report will say “Totally the other guy [sic]” and Sneed will play like an All Pro CB for TEN for 19 games in 2025, after being on street clothes for the meaningless Week 18 game because the Titans will have already clinched homefield throughout the playoffs. Folks, life’s a breeze when you combine simple delusions with narcotics.
Incidentally, the AP is Punk.
SPROTS TOMITE
All times Central
NHL
Edmonton @ Winnipeg – 6:00
San José @ Calgary – 7:00
Colorado @ Anaheim – 9:00
GRANDES LIGAS
Ositos (Rea) @ Doyers (Glasnow) – 6:00
TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL
Home team first, clarop. Streaming suggestion: infected laptop.
Argentina
River Plate v. Talleres – 6:15
Bolivia
Oriente Petrolero v. Always Ready – 6:30
Brasil
Fortaleza v. Internacional – 6:00
Atlético-MG v. Vitória – 6:30
Colombia
Millonarios v. Atlético Nacional – 6:00
Bucaramanga v. Fortaleza CEIF – 8:10
“CEIF” means Centro de Entrenamiento Integrado para el Fútbol, which in English means “Expect ICE soon if you understood it.”
Guatemala
Xinabajul v. Malacateco – 8:00
Behold! This is Depotivo Malacateco’s shield:
That dead-eye stare could mean either “KILL” or “U got snacks maan?”
Honduras
FC Montagua v. Juticalpa – 6:15
Paraguay
General Caballero v. Guaraní – 6:15
Perú
Universitario v. Melgar – 7:00
Secsi Mexi
Santos v. Querétaro – 6:00
Uruguay
River Plate v. Juventud – 6:00
U.S.A
MLS
St. Louis CITY [sic] v. Colombus Crew – 6:00
NWSL
Bay FC v. Chicago Stars – 6:00
Venezuela
Academia Puerto Cabello v. Deportivo Táchira – 7:00
FINALLY,
yeah, I’ve learned and stuff. Having a clear head is the best way to approach situations, of course. If it’s not a lifelihood thing, it’s best to be chill. That’s what drugs are for:
Pepa’ y agua pa’ la seca,
To’ el mundo en pastillas
En la discoteca FEE FEEE
FEEFEEEFEEE
FEEFEEEFEEE
FEEFEEEFEEE
Banner via MLB /Getty Images. No link, let’s keep it between us 
