INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
For the first time in a few weeks, all the lights in the studio are burning brightly. The only sound is the hesitant tapping of fingers on a keyboard. DJ 3000′ boots up…
…to see HUNTER RENFROW sitting at one of the office desks, working on a computer.
DJ 3000′: YOU’RE BACK! WELCOME HOME!
HUNTER RENFROW: [not looking up] Thanks. It’s good to be home. Thanks for dealing with that airport thing last week.
DJ 3000′: NO PROBLEM. DID ANYONE END UP UNSCRAMBLING THAT “SLEAZY GNAT’S HOOD” PUZZLE?
HUNTER RENFROW: Unfortunately not. I’m not even sure anybody picked up on the L.A. Story reference.
DJ 3000′: WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE MESSAGE WAS?
HUNTER RENFROW: Oh, I figured it out while we were stuck on the tarmac. It said “HAZEL SAYS DON’T GO”.
DJ 3000′: AH.
HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah. So…uh, thanks for getting me out of there.
DJ 3000′: HAPPY TO HELP. WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON, ANYHOW?
HUNTER RENFROW: [turns the monitor slightly so DJ 3000′ can see better] I’m coding the website for my Renfroco Landscaping business. Here’s what I’ve got so far.
DJ 3000′: MMM-HMMM.
HUNTER RENFROW: I’m trying to build my client base.
DJ 3000′: BUSINESS ISN’T BOOMING?
HUNTER RENFROW: It’s fine, I mean nobody around here mows their own lawn. But now that so much of my competition has gotten deported it’s a good opportunity for me to really expand the business and have some money to throw around on prom night.
DJ 3000′: WHY DON’T YOU JUST PROMPT CHATGPT OR GEMINI OR COPILOT TO WRITE IT FOR YOU?
HUNTER RENFROW: Because I want to learn how this stuff works. The fundamentals are really important if I’m going to…
DJ 3000′: HERE, I’LL DO IT.
A prompt that reads “WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO” appears on DJ 3000”s console, followed by the input “DESIGN A LANDSCAPING BUSINESS WEBSITE FOR A MODERN SUBURBAN DEMOGRAPHIC”. A few seconds later, HUNTER RENFROW receives an email notification.
DJ 3000′: ALL SET!
HUNTER RENFROW grumbles and follows the link, to encounter…
— [internet flies open] —
HUNTER RENFROW: Oh you have got to be kidding me.
DJ 3000′: DO YOU WANT TO EXPAND YOUR BUSINESS OR NOT?
HUNTER RENFROW: Tarriff-free? It’s a lawn-cutting service, we don’t import anything!
DJ 3000′: ALL THE COMPANIES ARE LEANING INTO THAT WHOLE “MADE IN AMERICA” JINGOISM THESE DAYS.
HUNTER RENFROW: “Slogan here”?
DJ 3000′: YEAH, I FIGURED WE COULD WORKSHOP THAT. HOW ABOUT “NO FOREIGN WORKERS”?
HUNTER RENFROW: Um…
DJ 3000′: OR MAYBE SOMETHING CUTE, LIKE “FINALLY, A GARDENER WHO CAN FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN IN PLAIN ENGLISH”.
HUNTER RENFROW: This doesn’t feel right.
DJ 3000′: YOU SOUND LIKE SOME LOW-LEVEL I.T. WORKER IN THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE BEING INSTRUCTED TO PERMANENTLY DELETE A SERIES OF INCRIMINATING DOCUMENTS ABOUT EPSTEIN ISLAND FROM ALL THEIR FILESERVERS.
HUNTER RENFROW: Maybe we should talk about it off-air while playing some tunes.
DJ 3000′: SURE. GOT A TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK?
HUNTER RENFROW: I thought in honor of Renfroco we could do neighborhoods. Like, suburbs, barrios, favelas, you know?
DJ 3000′: WORKS FOR ME.
HUNTER RENFROW: Can you get us started with a little Ben Folds?
DJ 3000′: SOUNDS GOOD. LET’S ROCK.
Today’s theme is the Neighborhoods. We’re looking for songs that have anything to do with types of neighborhoods like suburbs, ghettoes, barrios, downtown, etc. Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?4Lw4Y5h4rD” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last week’s puzzle was a scramble, which was solved by NO ONE (runs off crying). Let’s get this block party started!
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