Hey.

Have you given up on ways to eat leftover turkey and just tossed what’s left into your favorite local sex dwarf’s feeding trough? Score any great deals while shopping on Black Friday or Cyber Monday? Want me to stop asking asinine questions and get to the fantasy fitbawl? Fine.

Next week wraps up the regular seasons in both Freezer Vodka and Lowratio League. We’ll know all four teams that will be taking the Journey of Pure Relegation, and two of the teams earning promotion zone golden tickets.

But before we hand out any laurels and hardy handshakes, let’s see what happened this past week, shall we?

Freezer Vodka League

Week 13 Match Ups

Week 13 Standings

What’s changed since last week, you ask? For starters, Shiba is for the People! has taken the top spot from Original Recipe White Claws via tiebreaker. The Drunky QB sits in third, though technically tied with the top two teams at 9-4. Rounding out the playoff tier this week at 7-6, we have Stefon DIggs’ Pink Powder Club, Indelible Prickstains FC, and Orwellian Ungoodundaythink. This next bunch may or may not make the playoffs, but they are in the quasi-Jeff Fisher Zone with 6-7 records. Bonus! One of these teams will most likely face relegation soon.  D&D For Jocks, Dead Hobos, Pump Up The Spam, and The Blair Witching Hour still have something to fight for.  The same can’t be said for these last three teams; Rev’s Chosen Ones (5-8), Tush Pushy Galore (5-8) and She’s got good Jeantys (3-10) look to be assured of relegation this season.

Cue sad trombone noises

Lowratio League

Week 13 Match Ups

Week 13 Standings

AI Abuelas is still the gold standard in Lowratio League, even with a defeat this past week.  Rod Rust never sleeps joins them in clinching a playoff berth, both teams with 9-4 records. As it stands, these two teams would have the first round byes.  Mazeltov! At 8-5, Raccoon With A Meth Pipe slips down into the third spot, still in playoff contention, along with The Hunters of Renfrow and Jimbo’s Sad Hombres also at 8-5.  That leaves one playoff spot up for grabs with three teams vying for it, all at 7-6; 1 Day. 1 Wonderful Secret. Saquon this Penix, and CeeDee’s Unsolicited Nix Pics. On the outside looking in with 6-7 records we have Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses and Hot Meaty Milkshakes. On the outside and looking at hopping a freight train to warmer climes is Bondi Fetish Garden Noems at 5-8.  That leaves three teams in Lowratio’s Paddock; A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge (4-9), Ambigious Aaron Rodgers (4-9) and The Brick Experience (3-10).

Lowratio League Blow Out of the Weak

**Bonus** Lowratio League Playoff Forecast Graphic **Bonus**

If the playoffs started Week 14, here’s what they’d look like

Who earns promotion from Lowratio League to Freezer Vodka League? Who will be relegated and replaced in the senior league this year? Tune in to find out!

Until Next Time!