WOOO While You Can, Offseason Sunday Etc. Etc.

For the first time, Canada advanced to the knockout rounds in a World Cup. And a short while ago, Canada defeated South Africa 1-0 and goes into the last 16. The game will be next Saturday at 1:00 PM at Imaginary Stadium in Houston. Against whoMm, who cares! Celebrate this moment, Canada. After today, there will be plenty of time for self-doubt and worry—if any. Do not; own it baybeh!

As to the CAN team, I suggest training work during the week on elbowing opponents’ faces and kneeing a fucker in the kidney accidentaleee. Listen: so far, the Mundial refs have let the players play, Aleluya, and have swallowed the whistle on 50 / 50 fouls in midfield and 75 / 25 in the penalty area. Which I’ve liked, a lot, because fútbol and ruffianism go together like potatoes and frying oil.

Canada being dominant in the world stage aside, there are gangbusters results. Almost all African (8) and South American (5) teams are still alive: only 13 of the remaining 31 teams are from Europe. Japan and Australia are the only survivors from the Asia Confederation. AUS plays Egypt next Friday, while Japan takes on Brazil tomorrow Monday at 1:00 PM EST. This game should have been a semifinal, but what the hell. Let’s have it now. For this game, I will deploy the cellphone protocol I use for the first four hours of NFL Red Zone.

1^st Call –> Voice Mail

2^nd Call, same number –> “Can I call you later?” text after four rings

3^rd Call, same number –> do The Checklist:

You: [picks up call] Did anyone die?

Caller: What! No. Listen—

You: Is there blood?

Caller: Blood?

You: That’s another “No”. Anyone lose consciousness?

Caller: You are being ridiculous. How could you think—

You: [disconnect call, mute until later in the week]

Later tomorrow, at 9 PM EST, Netherlands and Morocco will play, another pair who would’ve made worthy semifinalists. And gotta say: it’s not great to be talking about tomorrow’s games this early PM.

For the last several weeks, we’ve been having between three and six Mundial group games daily. Then, suddenly, only one game to start the knockout rounds—on an offseason Sunday, no less. The ensuing discomfort is not so much yearning, but the acknowledgment that the Mundial is starting to wrap up. It’s part of a natural cycle: first comes the fever at the start, the first coupla days. The novelty is electrifying. Then the sudden excess of games becomes normal, an extended plateau of truancy and obligation-avoidance. It’s intoxicating and untenable, but nothing can be eternal. Tch.

On the other hand, the rising stakes of the knockouts are the best part of the tournament. And, for me, this has been a very exciting Mundial (All things considered). There have been almost three goals per game and only a few uneven game results (let’s say 3+ goal diff.) after widening the field to 48 teams (12 more in total).

In short, now that this Mundial started its end, and we’d have to wait four years for the next World Cup: we have to celebrate what we have witnessed so far, but also look beyond into

NFL NEWS

-Per espen: The Buffalo Bills new stadium will not pay tribute or reference O.J. Simpson. I still remember when historical erasure was the signature Soviet regime move

-Per the House Organ: the Carolina Panthers and the Arizona Cardinals will open respective training camps on July 22, as both teams meet in the Hall of Fame Game. July 22 is a mere three days after the World Cup final. A stretch that small of only baseball should not be wholly intolerable.

-The other 30 NFL teams will have training camp open by July 28 (full sked. & locations here), and the Hall of Fame Game, praise Gamblor, is on August 6. We made it thru June, peeps. Let’s celebrate.

Banner and gifs via giphy.com.