Monday Morning Mock Draft: F**k It, I’m Out

Guten Tag, drones.

As you read this I am, assuming nothing’s gone horribly wrong, sound asleep in a hotel room in Montreal.  I am on vacation, and it’s been a long time coming.  I think my last real one was last May, when Mrs. Horatio and I went to Puerto Rico, something I recommend that everyone except Don T do, and I’m only excluding Don because he already lives there.  I took a week off at Christmas, but my niece gave the whole family Covid, so that doesn’t count.

We would have gone, and will go, again this year, but work interfered and I couldn’t get any time off until July and, having experienced Puerto Rican heat in May, I’m not all that anxious to see what it’s like when the Sun is even a smidge closer.  So Canuckistan it is.  A couple of days in Montreal, a couple of days in Quebec, then a couple of days visiting my son in the socialist republic of Vermont.

Beers will be consumed.  Smoke shops will know the joy of Mrs. Horatio on a bender.  It’ll be fun.

All of this is a long-winded way to say I’m hammering this out on a Saturday in about five minutes and probably leaving you on your own to go nuts.

Looking at my list of topics I have one that I’ve been trying to work into something more expansive and so far I haven’t really been able to.  Which means the week I’m gone is the best time to set it on fire, leave it on your doorstep, and hightail it for the border.

Pizza toppings!  You must pick 3.  Try to fuck up those rules, and I’ll see you all next week!

First pick from the author:  Sausage, mushroom, eggplant, on a white (racist) pizza.

The rest of you are on the clock!