God’s Law and War, ARG v. ENG Semi Thread

When I was a kid, a Golden Age when adults suffered in silence and children shut the fuck up routinely, we used to say: La Ley de Dios no tiene trampa. It’s a saying of sports karma. When someone cheated and then, on a subsequent play, the cheater loses—there you go. Under God’s Law, there is no cheating. It doesn’t work.

Last week, Egypt led Argentina 1-0 and Lisandro Martínez was deep in Egypt’s half and then dispossessed. Under heavy ARG defending, Egypt mounts a contested and brilliant attack through the entire length of the field. EGY 2 – 0 ARG at 59’, one of the most brilliant goals in this Mun—VAR!1!1! VAR intervened and disallowed the goal through a retroactive foul on a clearly-simulating Martínez. Check the video. And please tell me in what other game, in this Mundial, such contact has been called a foul.

It’s a rhetorical invitation. I made up my mind about VARgentina.

So EGY Gets back to 1-0 and then, wadda ya know: scored another 2-0 wonder goal. This time, a header on a free kick in which the beaten defender was… Lisandro Martínez. La Ley de Dios no tiene trampa. But, between two uncalled penalties on Egypt and a counter by ARG—ANYWAY, we know the result. God has no place in this Mundial because it is under F*F* Law. And F*F* law mandates favoritism towards Lionel Messi. Which, if you’re in business, makes absolutely perfect sense.

I don’t know what extravagant amount MLS and sponsors paid to have LM brought to Miami and staying there. But it has to be the cheapest and most effective move, in history, to boost Major League Soccer, in terms of exposure and futbol quality. After all, by next week, MLS could boast having the 2026 Mundial Golden Booter and contender for the Ballon D’Or. At 39 years old. But the shine is off LM and VARgentina.

Via @LucasNavarreteM (Bias check: he’s a Real Madrid fan [spitting deferred indefinitely on enemy-of-my-enemy basis])

During the group stage, there were rumoUrs on socials about LM’s returning to European Club futbol, and there were many feelers from Barҫelona. His loitering around a corner of the pitch while leading the World Cup goal scorer table was the stuff of legend. Then, the favoring became more evident. That’s when the LM transfer rumoUrs died off, especially all Barҫelona courting, as the team finds itself in its very own ref-fixing case during 2010-2018, when LM was there winning every possible European club title. The shine is off LM.

But, if you’re in business, how can you argue against the most compelling international futbol matchup for a Semi? The 1986 game was a personal revenge by Maradona and Argentina for the Argentinians killed in the Falkland wars—obligatorio:

Absent from the Malvinas Son Argentinas discourse is: the Falklands have been British since the mid-1800s and it was the Argentinians who invaded back in 1982. Then the very overmatched Argentina surrendered after 74 days of fighting. Did any LATAM nation back Argentina in the war. Oh yes, Perú did. Now another question: do Argentinians frequently use peruano to insult the backward or ignorant? Oh sí.

 Downsides of the Falklands War. According to the Merril Streep movie, the war made Margaret Thatcher’s political career. But Thatcher was very chummy to Chile’s Augusto Pinochet, a top Genocidal Bastard of the XXth Century. Plus, the war also gave Prince Andrew the most ridiculous pretext to dodge, pathetically, credible pederasty accusations.

I guess what I’m saying is: nobody cares about the Falklands War, except Argentinians, futbol nerds, and Krusty.

England v. VARgentina – 3 EST, Hotlanna

Incidentally, F*F* has banned, from the game, all flags alluding to the Falkland Islands. The ban’s enforcement could be an early sign of whether F*F* is intent on seeming to cover its VARgentina favoritism.

I usually reject conspiracy theories because all have the same structure: a handful of very powerful people, in different places, executing a grand plan through very tight string-pulling. But 🚨🚧OBVIOUS CRAP ALERT🚧🚨 the grander the scheme, the more unwieldy it is. Outside of the movies, global conspiracies will have fuckups and leaks due to the large number of lieutenants and underlings, especially corrupt ones. In that vein, the FBI is right now investigating the Argentinian Futbol Federation on having swindled millions of dollars through Miami shell firms. Miami is where LM plays, incidentally.

Predicción: F*F* will work for a controversy-free game.

During this Mundial, F*F* has been the subject of serious accusations from Algeria (the LM red card not even booked), Cape Verde (ARG and LM shenanigans), Egypt (above), Belgium (Balogun suspension of suspension), UEFA (Id.), and Switzerland (dirty second yellow to Embolo). And it was all good for F*F*, because every team benefitting from questionable decisions got eliminated—except VARgentina.

If F*F* mucks up the game against ENG, I don’t think Infantino survives it. England created the sport has always stood for Fair Play (albeit laughably or hypocritically), and had to endure the pre-VAR Maradona handgoal. There is so much of the world that is angry at F*F*, and England getting on the side of the disgruntled will make it a movement to remove Infantino.

On the other hand, if you’re in business, you can see F*F* telling Argentina:

Welcome to the Semis. We did all we could for you. Regardless, see you at the podium, LM.

All semifinalists play either the final or the 3^rd place game. So if those semifinalists have a contender for the 2026 Mundial Golden Boot (or other individual award), that contender still has two more games for scoring and assisting. LM can pad his stats in this game and the next, whether 3^rd or Final.

I think, on a level playing field, this ENG team beats Argentina 4 out of 5 times . England, 2024 Euro finalist, is stackT. For this semi, ENG is also in better form than Argentina. And Argentina, to date, has to play a team of England’s caliber. Praying for God’s Law, over here.

Banner via propagandopolis (IG), cover of May 1982 “El Porteño” magazine (Buenos Aires DUH!)