Your Saturday Evening Post

Apparently nothing matters today because the Democrats are eating themselves alive in Nevada. I can just picture the lineup at Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar & Grill” discussing the finer points of Mayor Pete’s budget proposals versus Bernie’s “Medicare For All” plan. I think it’ll go something like this:

Democrat #1: “That’s a might nice Mayor Pete scarf you got there.”

Democrat #2: “Thanks. His husband was giving them out.”

Democrat #1: “Was that before or after Amy called them both ‘nasty bitches’?”

Democrat #2: “Oh, before. Once the blood started flowing I yelled my vote & ran for the door.”

Democrat #1: “Smart move. (Looking around) It sure is nice in this here restaurant.”

Democrat #2: “Sure is. So patriotic. And I see they have the calorie counts on the menu.”

Democrat #1: “It’s Vegas. Calories don’t count here.”

Democrat #2: “Just like Iowa!” *They both laugh out loud*

Democrat #3: “You guys shouldn’t joke like that. Another incident like that & more people will come to accept the party is trying to screw Bernie out of the nomination!”

Democrat #1: audibly sighs

Democrat #2: “Look kid. We don’t care. It’s been a long day & we just want to relax.”

Democrat #3: Sure. But we have to keep working. It there’s a contested convention…”

[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

Joe Biden: “YEE-HAW! WHO’S UP FOR SOME JALAPENO POPPERS!”

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Hurricanes at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC
  • Habs at Sens – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Sharks at Rangers – 7:00PM | NHLN
  • Bruins at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
• NBA:
  • 76ers at Bucks – 8:30 PM | ABC / TSN2
• NCAA:
  • Florida at Kentucky – 6:00 PM | ESPN
  • LSU at South Carolina – 6:00 PM | ESPN2
  • Virginia Tech at Duke – 8:00 PM | ESPN2
  • Oregon at Arizona – 9:00 PM | ESPN
  • Georgetown at DePaul – 9:00 PM | FS1
  • Gonzaga at BYU – 10:00 PM | ESPN2
• XFL:
  • Dallas Renegades at Seattle Dragons – 5:00 PM | FOX
• Fisticuffs:
  • UFC Fight Night: Felder vs. Hooker – 7:00PM | TSN5 / ESPN+
  • Prelims: Deontay Wilder vs. Tyson Fury II – 7:30PM | FS1
  • Undercard: Deontay Wilder vs. Tyson Fury II – 8:00 PM | ESPN
  • Bellator MMA – 10:00 PM | Paramount
    • From Dublin, IRL

So next Saturday is South Carolina – ooh! I wonder who Dabo Swinney supports? – followed on March 3rd by “Super Tuesday”. By Spring Break the party will either have a nominee or be torn asunder. Just as the Russians predicted.