Apparently nothing matters today because the Democrats are eating themselves alive in Nevada. I can just picture the lineup at Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar & Grill” discussing the finer points of Mayor Pete’s budget proposals versus Bernie’s “Medicare For All” plan. I think it’ll go something like this:
Democrat #1: “That’s a might nice Mayor Pete scarf you got there.”
Democrat #2: “Thanks. His husband was giving them out.”
Democrat #1: “Was that before or after Amy called them both ‘nasty bitches’?”
Democrat #2: “Oh, before. Once the blood started flowing I yelled my vote & ran for the door.”
Democrat #1: “Smart move. (Looking around) It sure is nice in this here restaurant.”
Democrat #2: “Sure is. So patriotic. And I see they have the calorie counts on the menu.”
Democrat #1: “It’s Vegas. Calories don’t count here.”
Democrat #2: “Just like Iowa!” *They both laugh out loud*
Democrat #3: “You guys shouldn’t joke like that. Another incident like that & more people will come to accept the party is trying to screw Bernie out of the nomination!”
Democrat #1: audibly sighs
Democrat #2: “Look kid. We don’t care. It’s been a long day & we just want to relax.”
Democrat #3: Sure. But we have to keep working. It there’s a contested convention…”
[DOOR FLIES OPEN]
Joe Biden: “YEE-HAW! WHO’S UP FOR SOME JALAPENO POPPERS!”
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Hurricanes at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC
- Habs at Sens – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Sharks at Rangers – 7:00PM | NHLN
- Bruins at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
- NBA:
- 76ers at Bucks – 8:30 PM | ABC / TSN2
- NCAA:
- Florida at Kentucky – 6:00 PM | ESPN
- LSU at South Carolina – 6:00 PM | ESPN2
- Virginia Tech at Duke – 8:00 PM | ESPN2
- Oregon at Arizona – 9:00 PM | ESPN
- Georgetown at DePaul – 9:00 PM | FS1
- Gonzaga at BYU – 10:00 PM | ESPN2
- XFL:
- Dallas Renegades at Seattle Dragons – 5:00 PM | FOX
- Fisticuffs:
- UFC Fight Night: Felder vs. Hooker – 7:00PM | TSN5 / ESPN+
- Prelims: Deontay Wilder vs. Tyson Fury II – 7:30PM | FS1
- Undercard: Deontay Wilder vs. Tyson Fury II – 8:00 PM | ESPN
- Bellator MMA – 10:00 PM | Paramount
- From Dublin, IRL
So next Saturday is South Carolina – ooh! I wonder who Dabo Swinney supports? – followed on March 3rd by “Super Tuesday”. By Spring Break the party will either have a nominee or be torn asunder. Just as the Russians predicted.
Wow. Mike Tyson is an old.
All I heard was “head”
Leafs lose in hilarious fashion?
Hayyyyyyy!!!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL.
Scott Sterling with the save!
Happy Saturday, fuckers.
BYU’s point guard looks eligible foar medicare.
Plus Gregory was an asshole.
https://museumhack.com/black-cats-black-death/
From DGB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9rzVQPnvHI
Wasn’t he a bit on the racist side of things as mayor? He also just strikes me as a shitty candidate in a general election.
MSNBC showed a chart of the Black vote in Nevada and didn’t bother to include him because he only pulled 2%. A Black analyst on the panel said it was nice of him to bring his entire national community support with him on stage. Not great.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND we’ll let this shit continue.
BYU @ Gonzaga at 10pm? Really, that’s it?
Why would I want to watch a bunch of honkeys running around the floor?
Not one, not two, but three! late night hockey games on for your approval.
I’d watch Vegas hosting the Panthers, but apparently my TV box doesn’t get that one.
Thanks Obama.
You still watch TV on a TV? Ok boomer.
Of course. The ‘puter is strictly for porn and music….errrrrr I mean music. ONLY MUSIC!!!!!
Porn is on both.
Sorry, it’s Gonzaga @ BYU. I had it backwards. Moar whiteys that way.
Leafs REALLY looking like they’re gonna lose this game, not even pulling their goalie. Don Cherry spinning in his grave right now.
Carolina Hockey Talkin’ Guys treating the Emergincy Goalie like a child, effusively praising every time he doesn’t fall on his face.
Tronno looking more and more like they’re gonna lose this game.
The taeks in the Tronna media will be fiery tomorrow. It will be delicious.
It wasn’t me.
Toronto’s first string goalie, probably making 3 Million or more, has given up more goals than the Emergency Goalie in the same time on ice.
Emergency Goalie just recorded a shot on goal (!) (if that’s even possible) which equals the number of saves he’s made, at 1.
Carolina’s Foegle goes 6 inches deep, extends the Cane’s lead back to 2
We all wish we were Foegle tonight.
ALSO the Emergency Goalie is wearing a mask that has the logo for Toronto‘s AHL farm team. Somone call Spike Jonez cause I smell an Inside Job.
Pretty fucking disgraceful that in Toronto, arguably the Hockey capital of the world, the best emergency goalie they could get is a 43 year old Junior B (whatever that means) player.
/apparently it goes Junior B < Junior A < Major Junior == League of 17 year olds where 1% of the players get drafted and 1% of those ever play in the NHL.
Wait, he just aged another year?
I’m old enough to be an NHL goalie now!
He was born on Mercury, so he has another birthday every 17 minutes
Who has two thumbs, no brains, and just paid for one PPV?
Me next weekend? AEW needs a network. They have almost 20 shows in their library now!
Carolina Hockey Talkin’ Guy just used the phrase “dramatic plus infinity;” Sherman didn’t do a good enough job.
That kitteh was asking for it with that hipster beard.
Carolina’s only chance in this game is gonna be to run the Leafs’ goalie and try to injure both of them, and somehow get this game postponed.
Emergency Goalie gives up a goal on his first shot…
…and on his second shot.
Update: Not so good apparently.
Dude thats wild
Joe Thorton is 40yrs old
https://www.nhl.com/player/joe-thornton-8466138
Emergency Goalie WILL be playing! And he’s apparently aged an entire year since 5 minutes ago when they announced him as 41, now he’s 42
Well that’s still younger than me, so… good?
Emergency Goalie Watch has been upgraded to an Emergency Goalie Warning in Tronno! Everyone stay calm but at the same time PANIC!
I thought warnings were less severe than watches…has that bastard Al Roker been lying to me all this time???
Not the only thing he’s been lying to you about, if you knwo what I mean…
MappleThorpe Leafs give up 2 quick goals, and the lead, and the world rejoices.
Had a very cool LA/ life moment today. Doing my weekly grocery shopping at my neighborhood Ralph’s and they have their in store music thing going. Most of the time it makes me want to gauge my ears out and sue them for abuse but they played Prince Raspberry Beret and I looked around and EVERYBODY in the store was singing or dancing.
This store is really close to LAX and defines our melting pot culture here. As I walked down an aisle I found myself singing along and I locked eyes with a mother and daughter and all three of us sang “If it was warm she wouldn’t wear much more.” All of us broke out in big smiles and continued our shopping.
Music is so fucking powerful.
Cools
yeah right once spoke to me in this very same Ralphs
In the produce section!
lol
Yea
tough season for los SHARKS
Wow
Ben Harper traded to Nashville!?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr5mCBFejIE
See Biden’s supporters cheer a chant of “Comeback kid!” after losing nearly 2.5 to 1 makes me wish sports teams would do rallies after losing seasons:
Browns: “We may have finished 6-10, but we have set the foundation to take the NFL by storm.”
(Browns fans cheer)
Klobuchar keeps teasing us by starting sentences with “We’re going to Oklahoma, we’re going to Arkansas,” and then just talking normally again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8EAoBn12mM
There is nothing wrong with that!!!
Very therapeutic.
https://jezebel.com/utah-judge-rules-its-lewd-for-a-woman-to-be-topless-in-1841159569?utm_medium=socialflow&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&fbclid=IwAR1DugHGu1PU7U2bMiUp9CSg62GjnbI9C4i8FQRuvZBlmsN91SwM-ko70xk
Found a funny:
[2 gators hanging out on a river bank]
“Remind me again, Carl. Are we crocodiles or–”
We’re alligators, Gary. Jesus Christ.
DNC ticket prices are gonna be out of control this year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g_MNpS9hM0
Gonna be a rager
It would’ve been perfect if the Earth and Sun switches places.
Quote:
The Sun is a revolving sphere. It has a diameter of 32 miles and is located approximately 3000 miles above the surface of the Earth.. Topics. Sunrise and Sunset – Sunrise and Sunset Main Page; Electromagnetic Acceleration describes the rising and setting of the Sun, as well as several other phenomena; The Setting of the Sun as a Perspective Effect describes the traditional interpretation of …
The Duke lives!
Allowing real-time cameras and mics in the huddle? O AN U NOE DATS ALL BOUT DAT GAMBLIN BULLLLLLEEEEEEEEE DAT