Tag: HRTN

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 118)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: Doktor Zymm’s RV, which is rapidly plunging towards the earth. PK is plastered across the windshield, holding on for dear life as his man-bun bobs in the wind. Inside the RV, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly and Future Clone Debbie Harry are frantically trying to figure out how to avoid crashing. Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (pushing

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 117)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The Iguana Mart of the future, where Beerguyrob is pushing (or rather, steering) his megacart through the aisles, accompanied by the amorphous yellow blob known as Lemonjello. The megacart is over half full, which is amazing when you consider the fact that you could basically stuff a Lotus

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 116)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The Iguana Mart, where WCS and Mr. Ayo are grabbing a frosty beverage at a Tiki bar. Brick Meathook is seated with them, wearing a straw hat and sunglasses. He’s still unconscious, courtesy of Future Clone Lynda Carter and her bag full of Diggler’s Donuts. Mr. Ayo: So in

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 115)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The main Diggler’s office, circa 1975. The company’s vice-president is walking to the main laboratory. He’s wearing a brown suit with an orange tie, because it’s 1975. He also has big sideburns and a bushy mustache. Again, 1975. Oh, and of course he’s smoking. It’s 1975, people. He also

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 114)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The parking lot area of the Iguana Mart of the future! Future Clone Lynda Carter has just exited in pursuit of her nemesis, Future Clone Debbie Harry, and is even now scanning the lot. But finding a single person amid the thronging masses of humans, mutants, aliens, chimpanzees,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 113)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The Iguana Mart of the future, where Covalent Blonde is currently looking with regret at the ‘Blonde Fury’ truck as an Iguana Mart sales associate, recently recovering from a royal knee to the groinular area, gives her the bad news about Future Clone Debbie Harry. Sales Associate: So

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 112)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The Iguana Mart of the future! Covalent Blonde, in the ‘Blonde Fury’ monster truck, is just pulling up to a side entrance. The truck is wet, having just gone through a drive-thru wash. Unfortunately, as they were in the open bed of the truck, Brick Meathook and Mr.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 111)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: Iguana Mart, where WCS is climbing down from the eight stories of shelving, a half-full box of Diggler’s Donuts in his hand. Iguana Mart employees are restocking the once-empty shelves with boxes of yummy, if life-threatening, frosted treats. WCS: Man, those hit the spot! Hmm, maybe I should pick

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 110)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The future, where Horatio Cornblower, Moosemas Gorilla, Otto and PK are currently wandering through the Wasteland after escaping from the cops. PK: Gee, it sure is hot out here. Otto’s Brain: We know. PK: Do you think maybe we’ll run into a Starbuck’s? I could really use a double-whip frappuccino. Horatio

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 109)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
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The scene: The Iguana Mart of the future! And not the future minus five years, but the current future, where half (or more, I’m not really counting) of the DFO are spread across the landscape in various groupings, causing all sorts of future-mischief. Those rapscallions… Covalent Blonde is currently pushing a