But I’m A Placekicker!

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Excerpt from the journal of Jaxson Hill, Placekicker for the West Bay High Broncos.

Hey Journal,

I know its been awhile since I wrote you. Ive been really busy with my AP classes (Miss Crocket is making us read To Kill a Mockingbird, which is really cutting into my time to read the Divergent series). Between that and kicking and Soccer, well you get the idea journal.

Anyways, Coach Fuller pulled me aside yesterday and said I was devoting too much time to Football. What a dickhead! Like professional Soccer players don’t even make that much money. Whatever, Coach Fuller said I’m not starting tomorrow night.

As if that wasn’t enough, Peyson Porter got me with a spitball on my neck in Geometry today! Gross! AND it was right as I was talking to Kelly Winters! I was so embarrassed. I hate Peyson Porter!

I have to go. Hopefully tomorrow will be better journal.

Praise be to Pat McAfee, the Great One

Jaxson

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Gratuitous Simpsons References League Champion, Inaugural 2014 season. Benevolent Champion, gentle lover, mysteriously dapper. These are a few of the superlatives whispered in the dark corners of the world about me. I promise to only add the most head-scratchingly inane comments and never, ever stimulate the conversation as long as the doors are open. WITNESS ME: writingprocrastination (instragram)
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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I’m ending my next fake prayer with Praise be to Pat McAfee, the Great One.

makeitsnowondem

Doesn’t Jaxson play any other positions? When I was in high school, the placekicker on our team was also the free safety, the town automechanic, the parish priest, and the bartender at the local watering hole on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Dollar Mojito Sundays Sponsored By RonRico Silver. I think there’s a hashtag there now. Where the building used to be, I mean.

Old School Zero

Oh, man. This could go places. I like this.

Old School Zero

You don’t have to. You just have to know what your satire of a tween’s journal reads like.