I am a young man of a certain age. That certain age means that I grew up under the threat of nuclear armageddon during the Cold War. I also saw the end of the Cold War and the uneasy transition to the world we live in today where enemies are
CHRIS HARRISON: Good evening, and welcome to a very special episode of The Bachelor. I'm your host, Chris Harrison, and thank you for tuning in to see if some lucky lads and ladies can find love.
And our contestants are very lucky indeed, as they will be vying for the love,
SECRETARY: Mr. Berson? Your 9am is here.
DAVID: Ugh, Samantha, I asked you not to interrupt me. :fidgets: How long has he been waiting? 15 minutes? Make him wait 3 more and then send him in.
/looks down under his desk
And you are going to have to hurry up if you
INTERIOR – 49ERS PRACTICE FACILITY - SANTA CLARA, CA
[A group of reporters are seated around a podium, chatting among themselves. A large figure enters the room and slowly waddles up to the microphone.]
Chip Kelly: Thank you all for gathering here today. I know that there have been a lot of
2 WEEKS AGO - INTERIOR - COLIN KAEPERNICK'S BAY AREA HOME
[COLIN KAEPERNICK is on the phone with his AGENT and is clearly very upset]
KAEPERNICK: Absolutely not! I won't do it!
AGENT: But Colin, if you don't, he'll cut you from the team. He's been trying to since day one! And you know how
Not a lot is known about Jim Caldwell. For example, we have seen him coach at both the professional as well as collegiate levels during his years of employ, but despite all of this, we have only known of his true form for less than a year. I am sure
With 69 days until the NFL season starts, it's time to get back to focusing on what's important in football: #brands
Through extensive research, bribes and the occasional sexual favor (I said I was sorry, Horatio!) the team here at DFO have uncovered these products that were expected to be launched
[BROOKLYN, NEW YORK: HILLARY CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS]
ROBBY MOOK: ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed at the Costco on 118th Street. But enough about my day off! As your Campaign Manager, I want to be the first to congratulate you on officially being declared the presumptive nominee!
HILLARY CLINTON: Thank you,
Owners Meeting -- NFL Headquarters
Owners of all 32 teams are standing around the room conversing quietly. A palpable tension fills the room as owners wait for Commissioner Roger Goodell to arrive.
[Late at night, Marcus Mariota walks alone through a suburban park just outside of Nashville, Tennessee. He seems to constantly be looking over his shoulder, nervously.]
Marcus: Come on... Where is he?
[The bushes rustle loudly nearby. Marcus freezes.]
???: Quack quack quack! USC: University of Spoiled Children.
Marcus: Quack quack! Stanford is
Corn Maze Employee #1: I'm telling you, man, he was in there all night.
Corn Maze Employee #2: Doing what, though?
#1: Hell if I know. We closed up all the snack bars tight, and none of them looked disturbed. I don't think there was even a corn stalk out of place.
Elaina Watley: That cheating bastard! I'll show him!
[Phone Flies Open]
Morris Claiborne: Oh, ha ha ha! Very fucking funny!