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Tag: NotKSKharacters
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Marcus Mariota Takes a Midnight Stroll
[Late at night, Marcus Mariota walks alone through a suburban park just outside of Nashville, Tennessee. He seems to constantly be looking over his…
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Somewhere outside of Jersey City…
Corn Maze Employee #1: I’m telling you, man, he was in there all night. Corn Maze Employee #2: Doing what, though? #1: Hell if…
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Elaina Watley Sends a Group Text
Elaina Watley: That cheating bastard! I’ll show him! [Phone Flies Open] Morris Claiborne: Oh, ha ha ha! Very fucking funny!
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Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston’s Special Injury Report
Dateline: September 23rd, 2015 Greetings, loyal Winstonians! Long time readers know that for years, I’ve been telling my learned readership that Week 2 in…
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Kirk Cousins Visits A Subway
[WASHINGTON D.C., SUBWAY INTERIOR] Sandwich Architect: Hey man, don’t you think it’s about time we took down that RGIII cardboard cutout we’ve got by…
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The DFO Interview: Scott Hanson
“Honey, where’s my pajama pants with the little helmets on them?” I’m catching up with Scott Hanson at home as he gets ready for…
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French Jay Cutler Goes On Strike!
/long pull on a skinny and extremely noxious cigarette Bon jour, sports fans of questionable culture. I av called you here today to say, c’est…
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An American Football Fan in Paris
As many DFOers/Kommentists/DFOoses/whatevers know, our own Old School Zero is currently training for a cheese eating/surrendering contest by exploring France from the tip of…
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Andy Reid Arrives Late to Practice
[Kansas City Chiefs Locker Room] Jeremy Maclin: Hey Coach Culley, thanks for feeding us this morning. These catering companies here in KC really know…
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Bucs Preview with #CaptainWarrenSapp
[Dfo-claimer: This preview should be read at high volumes. Preferably in a residential area. Welcome aboard.] Captain’s Cabin Door Flies Open Warren Sapp: YAARRR…