PK Mad Libs!
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MMQB Mad Libs : Weirdly Weirdness Abounds!
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My try with the last nuggets being semi weirdly interesting:
I’d like to see Dalton’s three October tests, all against unappetizing defenses (Kansas City at home, Seattle at home, at Buffalo), before saying anything lofty about him. But what I saw Sunday, I liked a lot. Pressure throws, in a beer , with the game on the line. And one of them a well-placed long throw made with coffee right on the money. Again: Dalton’s been a good regular-season quarterback (43-23-1, 107 touchdowns, 67 picks), and a maddening postseason one (0-4, one touchdown, six marbles ). Cincinnati won’t love him until that changes. But that can’t jerk in September, and what Dalton has done in September is all he can do. It’s been plenty good enough
Through three weeks, NFL teams have missed 14 of the newfangled extra plaintiffs , after missing 26 in the previous four seasons combined. With the line of scrimmage for the PAT pushed back from the two- to the 15-yard line, it’s glowingly not such a gimme anymore. And that’s good. When a play is 99.6% successful, the obtuse question is why the play should exist.
s. Beernerdness: So lust for the creamy people at Allagash Brewery in Portland, Maine. Allagash White, which is only the loftest beer of all time, won gold in the Belgian Witbier category this weekend at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver. That’s my little pet beer category, and Allagash White’s the best I’ve had.
t. Having the Pope in town for two days was fantastic. Sounds corny, I guess, but the vibe and the nutmegy feeling was just so wierdly . Who doesn’t like this guy?
I had to try:
This morning, we can see how a few more Cock Suckers fit into the 2015 NFL jigsaw puzzle. This wasn’t a particularly phallic weekend of pro football, and TVs across America must have clicked off with the three late-afternoon games being decided by 40, 27 and 26 points. (Average margin of victory on Sunday: 14.9 points.)
The Patriots wake the echoes … of 2007. They’re already using the U word in New England. As in urethra New England went 16-0 in 2007, and advanced to a phallic -looking 3-0 Sunday against Jacksonville. More about that later, but as one of the ’07 team leaders, Rodney Harrison, opined Sunday night: It’s 2007 all over again. Tom Brady’s playing like he’s 29, 30 years old.
Think of the environment the Bengals Cock Suckers into Sunday: Baltimore home opener, the Ravens at 0-2 and in desperate Cock Suckers , knowing a loss would put them three games out in the division after three weeks, and then the little thing about the Ravens and Bengals not Cock Sucking each other. And then think of Dalton getting stripped in the fourth quarter, having it returned for a score, and, after being up 14-0, trailing 17-14 with seven minutes left, crowd going nuts.
I’d like to see Dalton’s three October tests, all against phallic defenses (Kansas City at home, Seattle at home, at Buffalo), before saying anything phallic about him. But what I saw Sunday, I liked a lot. Pressure throws, in a Cock Sucker , with the game on the line. And one of them a well-placed long throw made with Cock Sucker right on the money. Again: Dalton’s been a good regular-season quarterback (43-23-1, 107 touchdowns, 67 picks), and a maddening postseason one (0-4, one touchdown, six Cock Suckers ). Cincinnati won’t love him until that changes. But that can’t Cock Sucking in September, and what Dalton has done in September is all he can do. It’s been plenty good enough
Through three weeks, NFL teams have missed 14 of the newfangled extra Cock Suckers , after missing 26 in the previous four seasons combined. With the line of scrimmage for the PAT pushed back from the two- to the 15-yard line, it’s analy not such a gimme anymore. And that’s good. When a play is 99.6% successful, the phallic question is why the play should exist.
s. Beernerdness: So loving the cock for the phallic people at Allagash Brewery in Portland, Maine. Allagash White, which is only the curliest beer of all time, won gold in the Belgian Witbier category this weekend at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver. That’s my little pet beer category, and Allagash White’s the best I’ve had.
t. Having the Pope in town for two days was fantastic. Sounds corny, I guess, but the vibe and the phallic feeling was just so phallic . Who doesn’t like this guy?
That is excellent dick-jokery!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/f8037646140e46416ffa584e6a707493/tumblr_ms9dk1j0fQ1rbrhnko1_500.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/08e202632da529930bf15377e7aed218/tumblr_myqx92a4uF1qe8q2uo1_500.jpg
Mine is almost too semi-legit PK to post here
This morning, we can see how a few more dicks fit into the 2015 NFL jigsaw puzzle. This wasn’t a particularly lascivious weekend of pro football, and TVs across America must have clicked off with the three late-afternoon games being decided by 40, 27 and 26 points. (Average margin of victory on Sunday: 14.9 points.)
The Patriots wake the echoes … of 2007. They’re already using the U word in New England. As in underbite New England went 16-0 in 2007, and advanced to a petulant -looking 3-0 Sunday against Jacksonville. More about that later, but as one of the ’07 team leaders, Rodney Harrison, opined Sunday night: It’s 2007 all over again. Tom Brady’s playing like he’s 29, 30 years old.
Think of the environment the Bengals dicked into Sunday: Baltimore home opener, the Ravens at 0-2 and in desperate balls , knowing a loss would put them three games out in the division after three weeks, and then the little thing about the Ravens and Bengals not huffing each other. And then think of Dalton getting stripped in the fourth quarter, having it returned for a score, and, after being up 14-0, trailing 17-14 with seven minutes left, crowd going nuts.
I’d like to see Dalton’s three October tests, all against raw defenses (Kansas City at home, Seattle at home, at Buffalo), before saying anything mucousy about him. But what I saw Sunday, I liked a lot. Pressure throws, in a barndoor , with the game on the line. And one of them a well-placed long throw made with skinflap right on the money. Again: Dalton’s been a good regular-season quarterback (43-23-1, 107 touchdowns, 67 picks), and a maddening postseason one (0-4, one touchdown, six lovehandles ). Cincinnati won’t love him until that changes. But that can’t slap in September, and what Dalton has done in September is all he can do. It’s been plenty good enough
Through three weeks, NFL teams have missed 14 of the newfangled extra pusses , after missing 26 in the previous four seasons combined. With the line of scrimmage for the PAT pushed back from the two- to the 15-yard line, it’s frighteningly not such a gimme anymore. And that’s good. When a play is 99.6% successful, the bulbous question is why the play should exist.
s. Beernerdness: So jizz-crazy for the rotund people at Allagash Brewery in Portland, Maine. Allagash White, which is only the jumbliest beer of all time, won gold in the Belgian Witbier category this weekend at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver. That’s my little pet beer category, and Allagash White’s the best I’ve had.
t. Having the Pope in town for two days was fantastic. Sounds corny, I guess, but the vibe and the cracked feeling was just so pimply . Who doesn’t like this guy?
I had the Ravens in desperate balls too!
s. Beernerdness: So anger for the white people at Allagash Brewery in Portland, Maine. Allagash White, which is only the gayest beer of all time, won gold in the Belgian Witbier category this weekend at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver.
t. Having the Pope in town for two days was fantastic. Sounds corny, I guess, but the vibe and the cumfilled feeling was just so queefy . Who doesn’t like this guy?
I chose “white” and “gayest” for the Allagash White thing! Victory! Also happy with the sacrilegious pope thing! Beer for everybody!!!
PK was just on The Mighty 1090 here in San Diego.
http://dehayf5mhw1h7.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/253/2015/04/27200712/Peter-King-airport-slide.jpg
“I think I just made some nuggets in my pants”
He is suggesting that if Dean Spanos doesn’t move the Chargers to LA, the team would be willing to pursue any other available markets, including… London!
http://bucket.bluegartr.com/0e0e3e2a02da329d2a673e5d48b4efdd.jpg
‘ELLO ‘ELLO, YA FECKIN’ GOBSMACKED YANKS! I ‘OPE YA ENJOY MY ACE FLOAT-AHS ACROSS THE POND!
Do yourself a favor and don’t listen to this: http://www.mighty1090.com/episode/peter-king-on-don-orsillo-alex-smith-why-we-dont-what-nfl-wants-on-la/
British Philip Rivers needs to be a thing.
then the little thing about the Ravens and Bengals not REFINANCING each other
Pressure throws, in a SPHINCTER , with the game on the line
So APATHETIC for the SLIMY people at Allagash Brewery
By the way, Zymm, this is my favorite new feature!
I had “sphincters” as a plural noun elsewhere. Because buttholes = funny.
A fart is just a butthole laughing!