JV NFL Preview – 10 October Saturday Openness

Whoa Nellie! Will we get some perfect 10 games today? The slate doesn’t look too freaking appetizing at first glance, but one never knows. Anyway, I fucking miss Keith Jackson. He was awesome.

Oklahoma vs. Texas (noon, ABC)

All the early games are complete shit. The one week I would LIKE my wolven sort to play this window, they end up playing Friday night in Blacksburg (which I like especially because it ticks off all the grumpy old white men who find high school football “sacred” – even though a reat many schools play on Thursday anyway now). This is the game to watch because it’s all sorts of fun to point and laugh at what’s become of Texas. It would be kinda sad if it weren’t, you know, fucking TEXAS.

Northwestern at Michigan (3:30, BTN)

With all these terrible games on the major networks, this is what slips down to BTN? Fucking really? Let’s hope the Wildcats make make it snow proud, and/or happy drunk. The Harbs fluffing is bad enough as it is.

Washington State at Oregon (6:00, Pac 12)

Loser of this game goes into complete and utter freefall. Games of this nature can make for very interesting television, especially when there is no defense to be played by either side. Yes, I’m reaching here.

Oklahoma State at West By God Virginia (7:00, ESPN2)

No rest for the wicked, cousinfuckers. Part 2 of the methhead two-step is at home, at least, and the Pokes really aren’t much of a team. Both of these squads are likely more entertaining than they are really good, but that likely makes for quality viewing.

Miami at Florida State (8:00, ABC)

Hey, another game that used to mean something! This week’s version of Florida/Tennessee. Miami has a good QB, and not that much else that impresses me. Florida State has an impressive defense and overall athleticism, but struggles mightily to move the ball, especially through the air.

Cal at Utah (10:00, ESPN)

Last but definitely not least, your DVR/tweaker special. Both teams are undefeated, and interesting in different ways. Team Secular Big Love is the “steady” team that has risen to the top of the heap thanks to the chaos all around it. The question remains whether they can find that 5th gear to make that Great Leap Forward into the playoffs, and to really compete for the title. Whereas the Bears are the fast advancing doormat riding the arm of a star QB, putative #1 draft pick Jared Goff. With the EPL on hold yet again due to stuid international play, you need this game for your Sunday morning NFL warmups.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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makeitsnowondem

Is there any team in the entire country, other than Kansas State, that can be unranked and up by two scores on the #2 team in the country, and not just have a chance to win, but genuinely seem to have the game in the bag? I’d rather be down 11 points to Ohio State than to Kansas State.

makeitsnowondem

There is nothing better in college football than watching Kansas State the two or three weeks out of the year where they decide to really seriously destroy shit. No team peaks higher. When Kansas State is at its best, there is not a team in the entire country that can hang with them, and this is somehow true year in and year out.

makeitsnowondem

Do they play Baylor at home this year? I really want to see that.

blordinaryfagicmox

someone should call Kansas State and tell them this isn’t 2003

WCS

I’ll say this: WVU has been a much better second-half team this season. Just get to the locker room, calm the shit down, and regroup for the rally.
http://i.imgur.com/WQ3Ma8B.jpg

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Damn.

If the ‘Eers weren’t so busy shooting themselves in the nuts they’d be shooting themselves in the face.

WCS

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WCS

HAIL BLEERGH

Sill Bimmons

ALL THE FRAGS

blackroseMD1

Touchdown Hogs! 7-3 over Bama at the moment.

Sill Bimmons

Seven Nation Army. Brilliant.

Hang your head in shame, WCS.

Got any blue and yellow camo?

WCS

They were playing that during the fucking Maryland game.

Sill Bimmons
WCS

That’s better.

Sill Bimmons

RALLY’S ON MUTHAFUCKAHS WOO

WCS
Sill Bimmons

Rushel Shell III has more vertical lines in his name than most people.

Sill Bimmons

ITS THE TWEEDLE FINGERS PLAY BOYS SET HUT

WCS

Skylar Howard only knows one way to throw the ball, and that is 47 quadrillion miles per hour.

Bloody Lethal

Gotta say I’m ecstatic hockey is back and YOU CAN MAKE $62,000 THIS YEAR BY PLAYING DRAFT KINGS JUST CLICK TO WIN. ENTER CODE RACKETEERING!

/i blacked out

WCS
WCS

STORNG

Sill Bimmons

Murphy’s Law kind of game for the sheep shaggers so far.

Bloody Lethal

PENALTY SHOT FOR NASH LOOK OUT.

Bloody Lethal

Well that sucked.

Sill Bimmons

IN THE FIRST ROW OF THE UPPER DECK

Sill Bimmons

In women’s tennis I always bet against the heterosexual.

WCS

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Sill Bimmons

Enjoy Rushel Shell, moonshiners!

Sill Bimmons

Ok. St.’s slogan is “The World’s Brightest Orange.”

If they say so, I guess.

Sill Bimmons

Skyler Howard is almost as bad as Skyler White.

http://media.giphy.com/media/UZfextdmzP7q0/giphy.gif

Sill Bimmons

Ball security, ‘Neers. You need it.

WCS

Offensive line blocking, Eers. What is it?

Sill Bimmons

Non-consanguineous marriage, hillbillies. Try it.

blackroseMD1

Arkansas has also forgotten how to tackle Running Backs apparently.

I’m gonna need more beer.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Tennessee really loves to recruit quarterbacks with massive foreheads. Dobbs’ eclipses Peyton’s.

blordinaryfagicmox

Without Chubb, Georgia comes up short.

blordinaryfagicmox

colon Chubb not around long enough to help Georgia

WCS

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Oh, Vols.

blackroseMD1

So…looks like my Hogs have forgotten how to tackle Wide Receivers. That’s probably not going to work out well against Bama.

makeitsnowondem

Remember when Nebraska beat Northwestern on a Hail Mary? That’s why I want this shit to happen to Nebraska every single game?

makeitsnowondem

Badger? I hardly[loses on field goal with 0:04 left]

makeitsnowondem

badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger football football

blordinaryfagicmox

Tennessee coaching comparison: it’s almost like it’s an institutional thing, not the coaches fault

WCS

This is setting up to be a real amazing finish. Who DERPs last, HERPs best: Ugga can’t win in pressure situations, and Tennessee gives away fourth quarter leads better than the NY Giants.

WCS

The ACC is the syphilis of college football. It never goes away, is responsible for brain deterioration, and is ultimately fatal.

scotchnaut

Fournette is a beast-dog from outer space.

blordinaryfagicmox

“‘Whoa Nelly! It’s so hot, the sweat on my undercarriage could irrigate a small radish farm,’
-Keith Jackson”
–SklarBros