Whoa Nellie! Will we get some perfect 10 games today? The slate doesn’t look too freaking appetizing at first glance, but one never knows. Anyway, I fucking miss Keith Jackson. He was awesome.
Oklahoma vs. Texas (noon, ABC)
All the early games are complete shit. The one week I would LIKE my wolven sort to play this window, they end up playing Friday night in Blacksburg (which I like especially because it ticks off all the grumpy old white men who find high school football “sacred” – even though a reat many schools play on Thursday anyway now). This is the game to watch because it’s all sorts of fun to point and laugh at what’s become of Texas. It would be kinda sad if it weren’t, you know, fucking TEXAS.
Northwestern at Michigan (3:30, BTN)
With all these terrible games on the major networks, this is what slips down to BTN? Fucking really? Let’s hope the Wildcats make make it snow proud, and/or happy drunk. The Harbs fluffing is bad enough as it is.
Washington State at Oregon (6:00, Pac 12)
Loser of this game goes into complete and utter freefall. Games of this nature can make for very interesting television, especially when there is no defense to be played by either side. Yes, I’m reaching here.
Oklahoma State at West By God Virginia (7:00, ESPN2)
No rest for the wicked, cousinfuckers. Part 2 of the methhead two-step is at home, at least, and the Pokes really aren’t much of a team. Both of these squads are likely more entertaining than they are really good, but that likely makes for quality viewing.
Miami at Florida State (8:00, ABC)
Hey, another game that used to mean something! This week’s version of Florida/Tennessee. Miami has a good QB, and not that much else that impresses me. Florida State has an impressive defense and overall athleticism, but struggles mightily to move the ball, especially through the air.
Cal at Utah (10:00, ESPN)
Last but definitely not least, your DVR/tweaker special. Both teams are undefeated, and interesting in different ways. Team Secular Big Love is the “steady” team that has risen to the top of the heap thanks to the chaos all around it. The question remains whether they can find that 5th gear to make that Great Leap Forward into the playoffs, and to really compete for the title. Whereas the Bears are the fast advancing doormat riding the arm of a star QB, putative #1 draft pick Jared Goff. With the EPL on hold yet again due to stuid international play, you need this game for your Sunday morning NFL warmups.
Gotta feed the kids just six hours after the last time I did it. Is there no end to this slight inconvenience?
they get older…it gets much, much worse.
Yeah, but when you get old enough, they’ll pay someone to feed you.
How are all you fine gentleman on this Saturday?
I’ve placed a number of poorly thought out monetary wagers.
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/692/505/c63.gif
I thought the Washington Generals were due!
At least my other alma mater beat Oklahoma in hilarious fashion. At least I’ve got that.
Oh Notre Dame.
Wake 3, BC 0.
2 minutes left in THIRD FUCKING QUARTER.
ACC FOOTBAW!!!
That “contest” is actually being aired here on Fox Sports, because the universe is a cold, uncaring void.
Holy FUCKBALLS Tennessee uniforms
Man, Northwestern is fucking itself hard, but the officials are working like they’ve got a teaser bet in on Michigan. Northwestern’s been penalized for blocking a guy in the shoulder pad and for blocking at all on a punt return. I hate everything about this game.
Michigan 28 Northwestern 0 still in the first half.
http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2015/05/30/6356854491109969291437931298_Marty.gif
http://i.imgur.com/qK0BMiH.gif
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/thebiglebowski/images/a/ae/The-big-lebowski-reunion-animated-gifs-12.gif/revision/latest?cb=20111217040850
“/revision/latest?cb=20111217040850”
PREACH BROTHA!!
Sorry.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/0256e9f3976f463db2dc1ec2f7dac575/tumblr_nssxzdvo8h1rrm03lo1_500.jpg
I just watched that last night.
You get a +1.
Welllllll Northwestern is getting their ish pushed in huh??
Last year, Georgia Tech won their division, won the Orange Bowl, and finished ranked 8th. They didn’t lose anyone of any real importance off that roster. They look like the [*Redacted] s right now. How does that happen?
A good question for which I have no good answer. I’m relieved that last week’s result is apparently NAWT any sort of sign that the Holes are any good, at least.
Pitt 26 — 19 UVa
CAMPING WORLD INDEPENDENCE BOWL HERE WE COME WOO
Is anyone else just finding out now that Fox News ran FOUR different segments yesterday bashing Big Daddy Drew over a column he wrote for GQ? FOUR. It’s hilarious!
If the tagline is “what the fuck is this douche wearing”, I find them blameless.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–b6d_hIln–/1208728686337540392.gif
or why his thumbs naturally jut out that way.
Or why his head is two feet long.
http://money.cnn.com/2015/10/09/media/ben-carson-drew-magary-gq/
The comments are so very MURKICA.
HURRRRRR HES JUST AN UDDER RASCIST LIBTARD #TURMP/CARSON 2016 HUUURRRRRR
Fox what?
http://i.imgur.com/CW61HC9.jpg
Holy fuck. It’s 97 outside. 97!! On the beach! It’s fucking October!
I can’t stop shouting!
Fuck Notre Dame, join a conference you holier-than-thou fucks.
The ACC is learning what the Big East had to deal with for decades.
Hey, nobody put a gun to our heads and made us do teh same stupid thing. The ND deal was certainly one factor leading to the Big East’s demise. Fucking John Swofford, man.
The ACC being the only dumbass league still led by an alumnus (former football player and AD, no less) of a member institution. NC State gets what it deserves for not leaving when we could have.
Adding football at all was the beginning of the Big East’s demise.
Of course, had they not, the schools that left always would have eventually. Just no room at the table for independents with all the money in TV contracts for footy.
I really like the new Big East, though. Give it time to grow.
Things I Never Want To See-
Verne Lundquist in a hot tub
A thought even more nauseating than Tennessee’s uniforms.
Hey everybody, LEMON PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there was ever a casting call for a live action Mr. Toad he would get the nod.
Since this South Carolina-LSU game was moved from Columbia, SC to Baton Rouge due to flooding, is LSU the “home team”? Do the schedule makers award USC two consecutive home games against LSU later?
Good question – will LSU still get the “points” for the road game? Supposedly a really sparse crowd.
Navy at Notre Dame-the game that every +60 year old LOVES!
Witness Brian Kelly emasculate 18-year-olds on national TV, while being lauded as a “real motivator” and “a player’s coach” by the media!
Hey, it’s been over 2 years since he’s killed anyone, at least ,, ppl forget that. And I bet he went to confession so we should all MOVE ON!!11111
I nearly forgot about Ol’ Bitcheyes, Tom Hommond.
Holy shit. Charlie Strong has long as fingers.
This just in-OKLAHOMA WINS EASEMENT-ALLY OVER TEXAS!
Figures a week after OU cornholes West Virginia, they shit the bed against the Longhorns. BIG GAME BOB, LADIES AND GENTS.
Good for Charlie Strong.
I think we are nearing 2007 in terms of a wacky college football season.
I’m not a banning type of guy but if it came down to it, I’d vote “cowboy hat” over “niqab”.
Wheels coming off for the Longhorns a little here.
Terksas/Okie is getting hot.
well, lukewarm. still a massive improvement.
I have been reading easements, glad for anything to distract from that shit.
Parents, don’t let your babies go to goddamned law skool.
Okla was a 16.5 dog! Easements be rattling your brainage.
TRUE! But the game action itself has been pretty meh.
Both places are just so irredeemably horrible.
I guess you have to give the nod to Texas because Austin and because the UT Law School rejected George W.
Baker Mayfield, a wholly owned subsidiary of Berkshire Hathaway.
I thought it sounded like a Tallahassee law firm.
Baker “Sweet Cheeks” Mayfield was the lead actress on Designing Women-I’ll bet your life on it.
Fun Fact: Eric Striker is the adopted son of the lead singer of the Christian rock band Stryper.
/themoreyouknowj.peg
Christ Ohio State’s schedule is soft as shit.
They would buy their way out of a matchup with Charmin.
There are actually some interesting games currently being played, and the powers-that-be have unanimously decided not to show any of them.
Pitt 24 — 10 UVa late 3rd.
Surprisingly lean midseason college football Saturday.
Whelp-I’ve done the running around, fed the boys, did some laundry, some dishes. It’s shitty out there so here’s goes nothing.
/cracks open beer, pours scotch
Why is Texas beating the Oklahoma?
I has no ‘spanation
http://thetritipguy.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/montreal-steak-seasoning.jpg
Remember Montreal Steak seasoning? You know, that big container you bought at the price club in 2006 and is now just taking up space in your cabinet because you never use it anymore?
Fear not, for I am here to help!
Montreal Steak Jerky
2 lbs flank steak, sliced into long strips against the grain, about 1 cm thick
2 cups water
2/3 cup Montreal Steak seasoning
1/3 cup soy sauce
Whisk marinade ingredients together, add steak and let marinate overnight. Arrange steak strips on oven racks, line oven bottom with foil to catch drippings. Heat at 170 for a minimum of 6 hours, maximum of 10. I swear that it’s some of the best jerky you’ll ever eat.
Holy FUCKBALLS I had no idea that image was so huge!
No wonder it took you so long to go through one canister.
Here’s a fun thing! I got home from work Thursday night, changed out of my business casuals into my civvies and while walking through the bathroom door (cold ass sober mind you) hit the door frame with the little toe on my left foot.
That door frame didn’t budge an inch.
I think I may have broke the little motherfucker – again. It’s swole up and looks like a Concord grape. Little bastard hurts and there’s not much to be done about it.
Shit.
Splint it with two Popsicle sticks if you’ve got any.
Might be a good reason to buy a popsicle. That and it’s 93 fucking degrees. Thanks for the advice.
Hey, 14-0 Texas?? For realz??
RIP Paul Prudhomme:
http://www.culinaryschools.org/images/paul-prudhomme.jpg
That’s Dom Deluise. Doesn’t matter-they both liked sausage.
/whomp, whomp
Actually I GIS’ed it and it turns out we’re both wrong.
It’s Carl Reiner.
He was an amazing chef. After seeing this picture I can’t imagine what shortened his life. Damn I love creole cuisine.
Crap the Boise State game is on CBS Sports. The only sports i don’t get. I’ll trade someone a Ten10 network straight up for CBS Sports.
Throw in a scrambled playboy channel and you got a deal
Does anyone know why the avatars change sizes all the time?
Are you on mobile/tablet? If so, it’s a responsive build issue. If not, I’ve never seen it, but I’ll look into it either way.
I thought you said mobile/toilet.
Same thing, really.
Yeah, tablet.
It’s just a funny quirk, I guess.
How does Strong get away with a turtleneck?
No football fitbaw today.
Still tumescent over last week and it’s not the Viagra.
Getting moderated because of the V-word:
Heh, I’m still finding filter words that people may use, sorry.
It’s better this way.
Is it wrong to hate Utah because they gave rise to Urban Meyer?
Better blame Josh Harris as well.
Personally, I blame Mr. and Mrs. Meyer.
http://gif.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/NORTHWORSTERN2.gif
Are you telling me there are places where people need to wear jackets to keep warm today?
Its the middle of October and we’re going over 90 today. It’s hard to explain our weather out here.
white people, ASSEMBLE!!
Northwestern doesn’t get nearly enough shit for being a completely insufferable confederacy of douchecanoes.
Signs from Reddit
Ha! They spelled “then” wrong, the morans!
Yeah, if you’re going to be calling someone else’s intelligence into question you really ought to have someone proofread your sign.
Epic…
USA vs Mexico is tonight. Is that going to get it’s own post?
It’ll be happy if it just gets its own bag of urine.
Here comes a not so quick L.A. rant: there is the aforementioned US Mexico game at the Rose Bowl, game 2 of Dodgers Mets around the same time and (I’m not going to get to deeply into politics here because that’s something I don’t discuss on the blog) fucking Obama decides that this is a good day to visit the West Side of L.A. for a fucking fundraiser which will basically shut down the entire West Side for most of the day.
I have nothing against you personally dude but stay the fuck out of L.A. The freeway system isn’t designed for your fucking fundraisers.
I am going to be locked in at work anyway but holy shit dude.
I picked the right day to go to Sacramento.
Unfortunately, that has been offset by picking the wrong day to quit amphetamines.
If you see Cake, squeal in delight for me.
GO MEXICO!!!!
Go Fighting Charlie Strong’s! Am no Longhorn fan but fuck Oklahoma and fuck the Longhorn boosters and fans for trying to dump Coach Strong.
I’M A MAN! I’M 40!
I miss Keith Jackson. Is it the kid in me remembering only the good stuff, or was Keith Jackson really good compared to the mouth-breathers that call games now? Either way, he had a distinctive voice and really made you feel like you were part of the booth.
That Utah-Cal game will be good. Seems like all the late games so far this year have been the ones worth watching.
Instead of the early game, I might go watch a local Div-III school play live.
The Pac12 has been really entertaining this year. You East Coasters need to take a midday nap, grab a beer, and watch the late game. Guarantee it will be worth it.
I do think we tend to glorify our childhood experiences, but I feel the same way about Jack Buck, Tony Kubek, Vin Scully… the guys who did baseball in the ’80s. I think there’s something to it though, because if you listen to Vin Scully now, he’s still awesome and he makes me wish the current announcers didn’t all suck.
Sorry not sorry for talking beisbol.
Curt Gowdy! Old time baseball! It’s not just you, Vin Scully is still a fucking god.
Get well soon Vinny.
I’m just going to say it. I don’t like Vin Scully.
theirs teh door
Wow, you really ARE a committed Yankees fan!!
Dick Enberg (and Don something?) calling the important AFC playoff games, especially The Drive and The Fumble.
I think that was Don Crique. Your spelling results may vary.
Skip Caray, the one good one, because he was the “Goldilocks amount” drunk during Braves telecasts.
The Braves had an outfielder with the last name of Martinez and when it would start raining Skip would point him out and say “I bet he can’t wait to slip into a dry Martinez.” His father’s legacy was carried on.
I was still feeling all ragey and shit when I woke up.
But I’m certain that a 3-4 hour hung over drive in the rain with as yet unmedicated Hyper McSpastic, and also my mother (thus negating the option of just droning out to loud music), will improve my mood immensely.
Now you know the REAL reason I was in line at the ABC store yesterday. When I finally hit the coast, I seriously might just keep driving. Sadly, I think the truck is water tight.
You’ve got one of these?
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/07_02/topgear1KNP2006_468x330.jpg
Ochocinco +1
How can there not be a compelling matchup this far into the season? I blame baseball.
I blame baseball when I spill my bowl of cheetos, or when my cookie is too big to dunk in my glass of milk.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/57955db0e372b3105c111ccf92d31bca/tumblr_nu27zd2QOM1syvjuco1_500.gif
Lothar I thought that was what Obama was for.