What’s Your “Human Garbage” Number?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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So after seeing the photographs and police report materials this week, we can all agree with Katie Nolan’s assessment that Greg Hardy is “human garbage”. But The Once and Future King Laserface Jesus taught us to let he who is without sin float cast the first stone, so we should all consider our own relationship to the man.  After all, many other athletes – even ones of sterling reputations – are only a few degrees of separation from playing as his teammate (and still being directly exposed to his raging assholery).

Some examples:

  • Michael Oher played football with Greg Hardy both in high school and at Ole Miss.  He has a Human Garbage number of ONE.
  • Vince Carter played basketball with Brendan Haywood at UNC in 1998.  Brendan Haywood played basketball with Julius Peppers at UNC in 1999.  Julius Peppers played on the Carolina Panthers with Jonathan Stewart in 2009.  Jonathan Stewart was teammates with Greg Hardy in 2012.  There are four degrees of separation (VC-BH-JP-JS-GH) so Vince Carter has a Human Garbage number of FOUR.
  • As for yours truly:  I went to high school with Eric Hurrie, who played football at Harvard.  In 1995 and/or 1996 he would have been teammates with Matt Birk, who later went on to play center for the Minnesota Vikings and Baltimore Ravens.  Matt Birk was teammates with Joe Flacco in 2012.  Joe Flacco was teammates with Steve Smith Sr.  in 2014.  Steve Smith was teammates with Greg Hardy in 2013.  Adding those up: RRD-EH-MB-JF-SS-GH gives a total of five links.  So I have a Human Garbage number of FIVE!  Interestingly, another pathway through Jared Allen also gets me to five.

What’s your Human Garbage number?

 

 

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyDoktor ZymmballsofsteelandfuryMoose -The End Is Well Nighlaserguru Recent comment authors
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Doktor Zymm

I went to high school with Visanthe Shiancoe. I didn’t really know him, but I’m counting it. He was on the 2012 Patriots with Aaron Hernandez, and the 2013 Ravens with Ray Rice. Should I even bother linking to Hardy, or should I just give myself a 2 and feel yucky?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

I dated a girl from Cambodia. It was unique. She had a Lebron James jersey because she was from Ohio. She ended up living in South Belmar New Jersey because her parents lived there.
Lebron James plays games in Charlotte (what is that North or South? Somebody help me here) against the bobcats/hornets
She made a killer pho
I paid 29 dollars for the Sunday ticket.

Don’t I get like 1 32nd off?

ballsofsteelandfury

That rambling was delightfully drunk.

blaxabbath

When I just started dating my current girlfriend, she flew to New Mexico for a wedding. The groom in the ceremony was Alan Branch. Branch played for the 2012 Seattle Seahawks, a team that was quarterbacked by then-good Russell Wilson. Wilson’s TE this year is Jimmy Graham who, in addition to being a former basketball player (in case you hadn’t heard) previously played in the NFC South against Greg Hardy.

So my number is also 5. I attribute this high figure to the fact that I’m typically the worst person of circle of connections so I have to travel a bit to get to a monster like The Kracken.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

68….. just one step closer and it would be curtains.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llkcmhli4H1qfvuj8o1_500.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

I root for the Cowboys. That’s a human garbage score of Patient Zero.

BUT, I desperately want Greg Hardy to rupture both Achilles tendons on the same play and the get arrested and tased to within an inch of his life when he assaults the medical staff while being carted off the field.

So all in all I’m probably floating around a 3.

blaxabbath

I read the first sentence and thought, “At least he isn’t a Patriots fan.”

Horatio Cornblower

I thought that while writing it.

Lothar of the Hill People
Lothar of the Hill People

I taught AJ Hawk, who last year was a teammate of Julius Peppers, and so through that chain I have a Human Garbage number of three.

One of my close friends was married to a lawyer who worked on Richie Daley’s staff, and knew his brother Bill, who was Clinton’s Secretary of Commerce. So, through that chain, I have a Human Garbage number of three, too.

Mother Puncher
Mother Puncher

I catered Hawk’s pre-training camp party 3 years ago. We’re garbage eskimo brothers.

WCS

I was in the same History class as Pacman Jones in 2002. I guess my number is one?

CHUH CHUH

ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury

I played football against Ricky Ervins who went on to play for Washington (and even got a Super Bowl ring! Holy shit that was a long time ago!). At Washington, his team played the Dolphins who had Dan Marino at QB. Dan Marino played with Olindo Mare the kicker, who was on the Panthers when when Greg Hardy debuted in his rookie season. So, my Human Garbage Number is FOUR?!?