The “Oh No, Katherine Webb Has to Wear a Parka” Late Playoff Game Open Thread

They’re predicting freezing rain for the annual Cincinnati first round disappointment this year, adding to the suspense.  How will it happen?  Will AJ McCarron throw a back-breaking interception?  Will Marvin Lewis waste his last challenge early?  Will Antonio Brown catch 25 passes?  Will THE BEN harf his way into the Divisional round?  As anyone who read the DFO -Money Comes In this week can attest, I only care about these outcomes for my one remaining fantasy team.  The Hank Scorpios need Antonio Brown and THE BEN to lay out a clobberin’ on the Ben-Gals.  Sorry, Vontaze Me Bro!

The fun starts at 7:15 DFO time on CBS, take it away boys!

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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blaxabbath

Didn’t see any football today and just got done watching the ESPN.com summary video of CIN/PIT. First of all, Worldwide Leader, get someone better than some intern to narrate those videos. I know you’re running out of money or whatever but take it out of the blow budget, not the your-direct-product budget. Cue NFL.com recap videos for an idea of how a summary video can provide a transcript that isn’t all jerky and sounds like a first-draft by a 13 year old boy for AV class.

That said — and, again I’ve only watched a single shitty summary — PIT seems to approaching NE levels of love from The Shield. Seriously, their coach comes on the field after the call was made in PIT’s favor and then draws CIN into a penalty? That shit reminds me of WWF when the heel’s manager would distract the ref while his wrestler pulled out a steel chair and, after the good guy took the chair away, the ref would turn around and DQ him for defending himself.

I love Boss Todd, I do not love this bullshit.

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