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The “Oh No, Katherine Webb Has to Wear a Parka” Late Playoff Game Open Thread

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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They’re predicting freezing rain for the annual Cincinnati first round disappointment this year, adding to the suspense.  How will it happen?  Will AJ McCarron throw a back-breaking interception?  Will Marvin Lewis waste his last challenge early?  Will Antonio Brown catch 25 passes?  Will THE BEN harf his way into the Divisional round?  As anyone who read the DFO -Money Comes In this week can attest, I only care about these outcomes for my one remaining fantasy team.  The Hank Scorpios need Antonio Brown and THE BEN to lay out a clobberin’ on the Ben-Gals.  Sorry, Vontaze Me Bro!

The fun starts at 7:15 DFO time on CBS, take it away boys!

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

Ugh.

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WCS

Shamarko Thomas: Still Pointless

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Doktor Zymm

Bra is on, there’s no going back now.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

NOOOO! Have fun. I promise to be stupid drunk if you come back though

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nomonkeyfun

Damn you. I only get sleepy drunk now. Not nearly as much fun.

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Duchess

you obviously have not read the health benefits of the no bra revolution

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Duchess

Who ever wins this game is going to the Super Bowl

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ballsofsteelandfury

BOLD TAEK!

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Duchess

I just think Denver and Pats are very very beatable

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Kungjitsu

HOW DARE YOU NOT RESPECT THE CHEFS!!!111ONE!!

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John Difool

In uniform or civilian clothes?

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

There is an amazing accent somewhere in Fitzgerald Toussaint’s family tree.

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Kungjitsu

Sounds like a vampire sheriff on True Blood.

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WCS

EACH RECEIVER SCREEN MORE SCREENIER THAN THE LAST

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ballsofsteelandfury

I thought Arians was in Arizona.

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JustStopDude

comment image

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fleshwound_NPG

Those SHOULD be an option

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WCS

He’s going to a chariot race.

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Spur

Andy Dalton has some nice hair

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why isn’t there a meteor option in the vote? I guess I lean Bengals but will never put that in a vote

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I went to get food, sorry if that was a repeat joke

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Brick Meathook

“Airplane!” corridor, LAX. “Isn’t that a pisser?”
http://i.imgur.com/hbx8iUg.jpg

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JustStopDude

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Doktor Zymm

There is a Stillers bar not far from me. Should I put on my boobiest bra and walk over? I may be really, really drunk, but look how well I spelled everything in this note!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yes

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WCS

Looks like the decision is already made.

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fleshwound_NPG

boobiest bra = no bra?

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Doktor Zymm

No. Every woman has a bra that makes her boobs look….more.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I speak for everyone when I say photographic evidence is required to prove this theory.

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Stay here with us – we’re way more fun. And likely drunker.

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ThePirateSloth

Stay with us! We’re more fun than Yinzers! Cleaner too. Much much cleaner

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Doktor Zymm

You, I believe. Too bad so many others here are Yinzers.

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Kungjitsu

I’m not a Yinzer, but I’m Duval to the bone. However, I’ve never been in that “pool”.

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JustStopDude

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Horatio Cornblower

Gentleman. Woman. (If Covalent shows up I will go plural).

Back from the workshop and, darn those intervening phone calls, brewery where my brother was hanging out and demanded I show up at, and now heading out to a party at the father of the girl who recently dumped my son but who everyone in the family still wants to come back because I love SUPER AWKWARD TEEN ANGST!

Where was this going?

Oh right. Go Chiefs! Go Otto’s Brain In A Jar! I look forward to the Steelers beating the Bengals and their back-up QB, with their consent because The Ben wouldn’t have it any other way. Also I look forward to the Cowboys’ super-awesome draft pick, because they sucked ass this year.

I am drunk and making my son drive me to this party. FATHER OF THE YEAR!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

“Gentleman. Woman. (If Covalent shows up I will go plural).”

HEY!

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Shogun Marcus

Oh SNAP you done messed up!

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Horatio Cornblower

ARE YOU A CHICK!?

GUYS WE GOT ANOTHER!!!!

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Gratliff

Already bored. Bloodborne speedrun, it is.

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Shogun Marcus

I keep meaning to start playing that. Just haven’t been in a rpg mood.

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Doktor Zymm

I seem to have consumed 2/3 of a bottle of horrible, horrible, bourbon. I’m drunk. I should….bourble?

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...

Welcome to Bourble. Population: You

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WCS

Depends on whether or not you decide to open the blinds and remove whatever remaining clothes you have on.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yes

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King Hippo

once you ask, you know you’re pot-committed

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John Difool

The only possible cure is to drink the other 3rd and then go out and get an even worse brand of boirbon…. trust me, you’ll thank me on the morning.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t look now, but there’s an amish guy wants to “go for a ride”.

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King Hippo

even Ezekiel thinks his mind is gone

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Kungjitsu

Are we talking Evan Williams Green Label in the plastic bottle horrible or Nyquil?

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Doktor Zymm

I don’t approve of Jack for various reasons

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Spur

Burfict already on notice

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WCS

Welp…

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ThePirateSloth

Super Bowl 40 reference? TheBuccaneerGrizzly just appeared in a rage

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Gratliff

I DEMAND MORE DERPS

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Recovery Whiskey

$20 on powerball. The American Dream is alive

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Gratliff

Even I bought numbers, and I play maybe once a year.

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Horatio Cornblower

I bought three tickets. The winning number is one of them. The old gypsy promised.

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Romonobyl

Tracy, get your nose out of his business! (He’s tall, she’s short).

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...

Welp. Out of whiskey.

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Kungjitsu

Do you have other liquors, or are you bingo booze?

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...

I have a bottle of Lagavulin which I am not willing to waste on an AFC North game.

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Recovery Whiskey

Ron Swanson says you can always buy more

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John Difool

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King Hippo

I have been reflecting on the crucial “who dies tonight?” query, and methinks it must be AJ Green, and Redshirt is gonna be on CNN before the night is through.

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fleshwound_NPG

Tracy is two foot tall.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Two feet of EVIL.

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King Hippo

I bet she’s like the GI Joe with kung fu grip, if you know what I mean

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fleshwound_NPG

Yes, they have things in common. One has won super bowls, and the other, has been to a couple.

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John Difool

Phill SImms rocking the sweater vest…… or auditioning for Dirty Grampa 2, I can’t tell.

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Spur

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Romonobyl

HE HAS SPOKETH!!!

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Shogun Marcus

BLEERGH? Is that you?

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Doktor Zymm

Making of a Murderer. Was justice totally fucked? Yes. The justice system failed and based on what was done he shouldn’t have been convicted.. Was he wrongly convicted? No. Look at all the evidence, that dude is a killer.

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Bugg

Inclined to agree. But as the the retarded nephew, his confession was utter crap, spoonfed to him by some serious douchebag detectives. How do you dump an attorney for ineffective assistance of counsel and not suppress the statements?

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Shogun Marcus

This has all happened in my backyard. I can say with all certainty he and his nephew are guilty beyond all doubt. To all the petitioners that want them freed I say fine. They get to live next door to you. Let’s see how far you’re willing to take this.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ma reserve judgment until I watch this sober. 2020 seems a good bet.

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Sill Bimmons

Pheel and Phucking Jeem…woo…

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ThePirateSloth

I’m only on this thread for “Next Time on Doks True Drunk Stories”

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King Hippo

I am constantly reminded that, even before I stopped dating entirely, everyone’s sex life was WAY more interesting than mine. JEEBUS

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ThePirateSloth

I’ve been single or in a shit relationship for most of the KSK years… I’ve totally been vicariously living a great sex life thru the mailbags.

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Horatio Cornblower

My wife was a gymnast in high school.

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Bugg

Dear, Lord , make it a decent game to watch while drinking lots of cold beer. Because that Houston/KC shitshow sucked donkey balls hard. Amen.

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Sill Bimmons

hey guys

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

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Spanky Datass

sup

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

The CBS stream has already frozen like 4 times. I’m not confident I’m going to enjoy this.

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John Difool

“I can see Big Ben forcing a couple of balls downfield…” Don’t encourage Big Ben to rape anymore, Coach Dungee…. he’s reformed now.

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Gratliff

Because I completely forgot that Motorhead was featured in a children’s movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yLhA0ROGi4

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Doktor Zymm

There are people I want in me. None of them are on either of these teams.

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Romonobyl

I doubt THE BEN is familiar with the term “want” from a female.

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King Hippo

NO means HARF!

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Redshirt

I’ve decided, if I can’t get a Bengals win, I’ll take the Powerball jackpot.

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Spur

http://i.imgur.com/fU0rkOr.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

As both are divisional rivals for me, I am rooting for the meteor.
However, full disclosure….I am a recovered Stiller fan. Adopted them when the Colts left Baltimore, and before we stole the original factory and renamed them after a dirty assed bird.

Plus, Hippo has told me his druthers for his Donks’ matchup which made it easier.

But still….meteor…?

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Senor Weaselo

Mythbusters Explosion Special is also on. So if you like explosions, yes.

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...

It would be a nice complement to the implosion we just witnessed in Houston.

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Romonobyl

Shut the early game off after the half and did some yard work. I see it was time well spent.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It somehow got worse in the second half. Good choice

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Romonobyl

Was there ever a Pantz appearance?

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Hi honey!

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Redshirt

God, please. At least once in my life.

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Spur

This is going to be 100% more entertaining. 50% guaranteed.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Stop lying. Kelly Kapowski left you. I am sure you have cute dogs

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Nope, she’s sitting right next to me, yelling at Making a Murderer with me.

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Spur

That doc give me even more reasons to hate the state of Wisconsin.

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Spur

Go Bengals

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WCS

I need make a quick dinner so I have something to puke up later.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I had fried chicken, fried okra, fried potatoes and big assed biscuits.
/fuck you coronary arteries

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ballsofsteelandfury

100% agree! WOOOO!

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