♫…When Our Ranks Begin to Fall…♫

The miserable melodrama of the Cleveland Browns season continued on Sunday as starting quarterback Cody Kessler was knocked out of the game with a while trying to one-up Dan Orlovsky by throwing the ball backwards out of his own end zone. His replacement Charlie Whitehurst was also injured shortly thereafter, leaving the game with a leg injury. Quarterback-turned-pretty-good-receiver Terrelle Pryor took their place on the battlements, and the Browns went on to lose 33-13 to the Patriots.

Whitehurst is forecast to be healthy again by Wednesday. “He’s a tough kid,” team physician James Voos insisted, “he’ll be fine in three days, tops.” When asked about the situation, starting left tackle Joe Thomas disputed Voos’ assertion, brusquely stating “I doubt it.” At any rate, Whitehurst is not expected to be available to the franchise after November 12, due to a prior commitment with the Saints.

In happier news, Cody Kessler’s X-rays showed no broken bones, so he may be available for Sunday’s game against the Titans, and it is also possible that Josh McCown will make his return to the field after suffering a hairline fracture to his non-throwing shoulder on September 18. Rookie draftee and practice squad quarterback Kevin Hogan had reportedly been sent out to collect ammunition from under the bleachers at FirstEnergy Stadium, but had not reported back as of press time.